Venting I'm Back Here Again

[Lost in a Dream]

The last time I was here, I posted in a goodbye thread that I made about how I was doing better and didn't feel like I needed sasu anymore. Well unfortunately, after a few months of feeling better this is no longer the case. I don't have any methods or plans but the things that once made life worth living for me just barely make it tolerable now. I've been having serious money problems that aren't even my fault and I don't know what to do. I work for a new employer but they keep sending me bad checks over and over and I'm considering looking for a new job. Only problem is, if I do that, I will have to take a huge pay cut and will probably end up hating the new job anyway.

As far as I'm concerned, work is just another form of slavery anyway. Doesn't matter to me that you get paid because you're still a slave to money and you're still a slave to paying bills endlessly until you die. Some people get angry at people like me, especially people who want work but can't get it, but it's not my fault some people enjoy being slaves.

I haven't even filed my taxes in 2 years and I've been thinking about trying to end my life when tax time comes around again. This life is more bullshit than it's worth and meds and therapy will never change that. I'm tired of having to cope with a life that was cruelly imposed on me in the first place when I have no guarantee that my end will be peaceful or under my control. Doesn't help that the majority of people think they have some duty to force people like me to stay alive, even when we don't want to. It makes me sick.

Anyway, now that I'm done venting I'm glad to be back. Coming back to sasu after so long, I feel like I'm coming back home after a long vacation. It was a fun vacation in the beginning, but after a while it just became another form of misery and I had to come back, just like I suspected I would.

 

[Uncounted1846]

Welcome back! sorry to hear life has let you down yet again.

 

[InvasionOfPublicity]

hey! i have a similar kind of experience, i made this account in mid 2023, but only used it for a short while to research ctb methods. now im back on here and happy to be amongst more understanding people.

This life is more bullshit than it's worth and meds and therapy will never change that. I'm tired of having to cope with a life that was cruelly imposed on me in the first place when I have no guarantee that my end will be peaceful or under my control. Doesn't help that the majority of people think they have some duty to force people like me to stay alive, even when we don't want to. It makes me sick.

I totally 100% agree. I assume youre also in the USA, given the tax frustration and job worries. It's a fucked up time for everyone. I feel exhausted with searching for jobs. I've been applying for over 7 months straight now, with not a single prospect. It's not even like I'm applying for high salary and competitive jobs, I literally just got rejected for an entry-level no experience minimum wage part time volunteer job at some bullshit non profit aiming to help people with their food stamps... like how do you even fail that hard??? the job market is horrible, the economy isn't getting any better, and we have a nut job in the white house (again). i empathize with anyone struggling with job uncertainty.

and to your point about therapy and meds, im also on the anti-depressants. it helped for a while and i genuinely did feel better, but with too many external things outside of our control, what's the point of feeling good if things aren't actually going good??? why is there so much emphasis on keep someone alive in their shitty existance when they themselves have given up? thats like holding someone hostage within their flesh prison.

anyways, i just wanted to reiterate that ur not alone in your anger against modern society. i never saw myself becoming someone who just flat out hated the world, but it's hard not to with the way things are.

welcome back to sasu, i hope you find some relief in knowing that it's not just you.