briardweller
Dreamer
- Nov 16, 2025
- 17
I can get over it if I need to but I just don't sit well with the feeling of being punished biologically as my last act on planet Earth. My entire life has been suffering and anguish, punished just for existing.. I just feel like it would fuck me up psychologically in those last moments in an ironic way that here I am, being punished again in a horrific way just for trying to free myself from this loop of pain. I don't have barbiturates or anything like this. I don't have the ability to obtain those things. I would have to just take 25 grams of SN in water. I've had mine for a year and went back and forth with it. I've considered trying to save up for a cheap pistol and eating a bullet, but you have to aim it perfectly to hit your own brainstem. And it's just ugly and violent, I would prefer not to do it like that. And I'm really broke and it's hard to save up. I'm getting so overwhelmed I feel like screaming and just throwing myself off a building.
