Venting I'm a liar.

[BBY]

I spoke to my brother about my plans to ctb because I am the only one in the family he talks to so I thought he should know. He kept going on and on about how things will get better and that I should wait at least another year, even going as far as forcing me to promise that I'll wait. But I'm a liar. Tomorrow I'll get all the stuff I need for the "night-night" method and I'll do it as soon as I emotionally prepared for it. He kept saying that he felt the same as me but he continued living and now he's the best he's ever been. I'm happy for him buy honestly don't care if the same is waiting for me. I have no intention to see this through. Although I love my brother I didn't really mind lying about that. He knows how I feel and what I an planning now, at least. It won't be that much of a shock.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's for the best not to be truthful about ctb plans as it could potentially just lead to other people interfering, it's just the unfortunate reality of existing in this anti-suicide society where people refuse to accept suicide as being the logical option that it truly is. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Lulzacruel]

you do know that you just let somebody have enough information to foil the attempt to peace?

i hope you will do the night-night method in a place where your brother couldn't find you for at least an hour.

 

[BBY]

I think it's for the best not to be truthful about ctb plans as it could potentially just lead to other people interfering, it's just the unfortunate reality of existing in this anti-suicide society where people refuse to accept suicide as being the logical option that it truly is. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

Yea, sadly you're right. I'm still kinda scared that he'll tell our mom but considering he never wants to talk to her again it's low. Also, thank you! I am honestly quite excited to free myself finally.

you do know that you just let somebody have enough information to foil the attempt to peace?

i hope you will do the night-night method in a place where your brother couldn't find you for at least an hour.

He lives in another city so he won't be able to reach me- also we don't talk very often so I doubt he'll be able to do anything. And with him being NC with the rest of our family I don't have to worry.
Our entire talk was just "reach out to me if you ever wanna talk or feel down" lol