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Death is beautiful

Death is beautiful

Warlock
May 20, 2021
792
it seems I will never have the courage to commit suicide, I will have to endure all this until I die in the hospital in 50 years
I'm a fucking weakling, Why am I even sitting on this site :((
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,439
Suicide is very difficult as we are programmed to survive. It is not cowardly being unable to ctb. If it was easier I would already be gone. We all deserve the option of euthanasia, a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. It is cruel how the society expects us to suffer for decades and denies us this. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
 
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Death is beautiful

Death is beautiful

Warlock
May 20, 2021
792
Suicide is very difficult as we are programmed to survive. It is not cowardly being unable to ctb. If it was easier I would already be gone. We all deserve the option of euthanasia, a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. It is cruel how the society expects us to suffer for decades and denies us this. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
I wish I could get cancer, I know it's painful, but I just can't kill myself.
 
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Apricity

Apricity

Wizard
Jul 27, 2021
642
it seems I will never have the courage to commit suicide, I will have to endure all this until I die in the hospital in 50 years
I'm a fucking weakling, Why am I even sitting on this site :((
I'm assuming you've backed out of an attempt. I've done the same a few times recently, and have felt exactly what you're feeling now. I have one of the more peaceful methods too, but SI can be a bitch.
 
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Death is beautiful

Death is beautiful

Warlock
May 20, 2021
792
I'm assuming you've backed out of an attempt. I've done the same a few times recently, and have felt exactly what you're feeling now. I have one of the more peaceful methods too, but SI can be a bitch.
I haven't tried yet, I'm saving up money to order N, but every day I'm tormented by doubts, I'm more and more doubtful about everything, I'm not sure I can even order it, let alone have a drink
 
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Apricity

Apricity

Wizard
Jul 27, 2021
642
I haven't tried yet, I'm saving up money to order N, but every day I'm tormented by doubts, I'm more and more doubtful about everything, I'm not sure I can even order it, let alone have a drink
May I ask why you wish to CTB, and what doubts you're having?
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
it seems I will never have the courage to commit suicide, I will have to endure all this until I die in the hospital in 50 years
I'm a fucking weakling, Why am I even sitting on this site :((
I feel the same way. I have N but I wonder why I bought it in the first place. It felt i was sure that I wanted to exit but now I have more and more doubts everyday. I dont know to tell you to buy it or not but it is good to have it as a backup
 
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Death is beautiful

Death is beautiful

Warlock
May 20, 2021
792
I feel the same way. I have N but I wonder why I bought it in the first place. It felt i was sure that I wanted to exit but now I have more and more doubts everyday. I dont know to tell you to buy it or not but it is good to have it as a backup
To be honest, I feel better than yesterday, doubts don't stink me so much anymore, I'm glad that you have N, maybe you'll reach the point of despair and end everything, in any case I wish you peace
May I ask why you wish to CTB, and what doubts you're having?
I have a very religious family and they do not know how to help me, all they offer me is to pray, in March of this year I realized that I could not adapt to society and all my plans for life collapsed since then I have an anxiety disorder and a depressive state.

I am tormented by doubts that I will ever be able to commit suicide, I don't know why, but yesterday I got very mad and decided to make such a topic, now I feel a little better
 
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Chockles

Experienced
Sep 17, 2021
270
I haven't tried yet, I'm saving up money to order N, but every day I'm tormented by doubts, I'm more and more doubtful about everything, I'm not sure I can even order it, let alone have a drink
I have these fears too. I know I come across on the group that no matter what I'll get the liquid down as I'm bed ridden in extreme physical torture almost 24/7 now for 9 months yet I know I'm risk averse, scared of failing, don't cope with certain tastes & smells due to my mild autism as it is. But I hope I can find a way out of this misery & ivhope you find a more peaceful exit soon too.
 
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MeltedJello

MeltedJello

My brain is a liquid mess.
Aug 18, 2021
2,214
it seems I will never have the courage to commit suicide, I will have to endure all this until I die in the hospital in 50 years
I'm a fucking weakling, Why am I even sitting on this site :((
I feel the same way somedays. I usually think about my next attempt, and I get scared thinking that I might not actually go through with it due to fear/survival instinct. I wish it was much easier to ctb, but it really is difficult, & many of us struggle with finding the courage. Don't beat yourself up too much & I hope you can find the peace you're looking for :)
 
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