I’m a fucking coward and a failure.

[mainlanders_son]

I've craved a noose tightening around my next since last August. I've practiced multiple times inside but the house but realized it'd be rude to CTB inside which would plummet the property value. Then I scouted for months for some woods around us and found something promising. After finding that location I would visit frequently to accustom myself to it. Winter turned into spring and the leaves erupted and my location became even more secluded.

I visited today with my equipment and nostalgic tokens, convinced I'd leave in a body bag. I waited hours for the loitering dweebs to leave and mounted the dead lumber and my enacted plan. Rope securely attached to anchor, rope securely attached to my neck. All I need to do was…let go, push into the noose and watch the last gasps of my pathetic existence to be uttered.

Not so. It was like an invisible hand prevented me from taking the next step. So I tried baby steps- little constriction here, little constriction there. None summed up to the final constriction. I couldn't so it.

I am beyond infuriated. I know my life is over but the bitch-ass pussy inside me refuses to take the plunge.

Fuck this shit and fuck SI and fuck whatever happened to me that raped my personality and mind.

 

[Seele]

My fellow-sufferer,There's no need to martyr yourself, it's okay to give up for now, you have complete freedom to choose a better moment, and you don't need to be in a hurry, in any case we were born with the only certainty that we will die, I hope you can feel better .