I don't think you need to put much pressure if you're a bad person or not... to me, it should be alright to be 'bad', because it's not like we can be good people all of the time...
But I understand your fear with people to be mad at you. I know well how it can be exhausting to endure screaming and verbal violence in general-the strength to be able to endure is truly something to be admired.
You're a good person, for worrying about being bad. "Bad people don't care if they're being bad or not" or at least that's what someone told me...
I hope that, little by little, you can keep crying those things out, so to eventually lift a bit of this weight from your shoulders. I hope that you can find a bit of peace and happiness, even if it's temporary