Venting I’m a bad liar

[goodbye_._]

The title seems strange I know. It's not completely true but tonight I could not. My mom was asking me all kinds of questions about if I'm depressed or suicidal. I said no but my face said it all. She knew I was lying. I'm so stupid I wish it didn't go like that. So she knows but she doesn't know how bad it is and she doesn't know my method though she tried to get it out of me. I'm hoping not much comes out of this but if you have ever been in this situation you know that doesn't happen. I didn't want her to know because she has anxiety. I didn't want her to worry and now she will. But it doesn't change anything, I'm still going to ctb I just need to find the moment. There is a bit of a rush but it's not bad, like I'm hoping to ctb within the next few months, preferably before my birthday (June). So hopefully everything works out well but I was tired and messed up but at least she doesn't know how bad.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, it's certainly for the best to make sure that other people know as little as possible about wishes/plans to die to minimise the chance of them interfering. But anyway people should just accept the fact that many people here wish to cease existing, I get that death is sad for a lot of people but we all have to die someday and nobody is obligated to suffer all for the sake of other people. I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that you find the freedom that you search for.