Venting I'm a awful friend

[Mx_Pathetic]

The month I'm planning to ctb is a month before my birthday and my best friend's birthday. I completely forgot, like I know I don't have the best memory but for fuck sake I can't believe I forgot it's her birthday. I'll definitely be holding off on ctb for her I would hate for her to have her birthday right after I ctb. Sadly that also means I'll be 21 which isn't what I wanted but I'll do it for her. I live one more month for her. Ill have to plan it for the end of April or early May. Fuck but now I'm thinking about my brother 20th that happens in June fuck. I just don't want to do it near someone's birthday because I think it's fucked up. I don't care much for the older family members birthdays because they don't care how old they are anymore. Bro I just checked and in Sept my other BFFs birthday is then. Bro no way am I doing this to myself lol. Fuck. I'll probably plan it's after my brother's birthday maybe a few days after or something like that. Then it's still pretty far from my besties birthday. Idk why I'm all of sudden thinking about this shit. I don't think I'm using them as an excuse to continuing living aspecially since I completely want to ctb, nothing can change my mind or stop me. But why do I silently feel like I'm making up excuses for myself. No it's not that I just really don't want to hurt my friends and family more then I already will be, I want to hurt them as little as possible. I'll figure it out I suppose. Time will tell. I just have to find the right moment to ctb.

 

[foxgirl]

I've thought for a long time that I'd ctb on/around my birthday, so that my family only has one time of the year where they're sad for me. But I read somewhere on here that no time is a good time because the people who love you will be sad throughout the years after you go. It doesn't matter when- they could see something that reminds them of you, or eat something they know you really liked.. grief just works that way.. Your time is simply when you realize you can't keep struggling anymore. I hope you find your peace.

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

I've thought for a long time that I'd ctb on/around my birthday, so that my family only has one time of the year where they're sad for me. But I read somewhere on here that no time is a good time because the people who love you will be sad throughout the years after you go. It doesn't matter when- they could see something that reminds them of you, or eat something they know you really liked.. grief just works that way.. Your time is simply when you realize you can't keep struggling anymore. I hope you find your peace.

I've actually heard of that saying before, I honestly completely forgot about it. I definitely agree with it ass well. Thank you