Venting I’ll never live up to what my family wants me to be

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm at an internal struggle right now because I feel pressure from my family.

I feel pressured to do well in college, my aunt made me feel all kinds of bad today, I don't even wanna visit for a while, but I love my cousins and their dogs, even my uncle is great (when he isn't being homophobic or racist).

My aunt first made me feel bad about a grade I got on a test, which isn't even that bad, it was an 84. Then she proceeded to hint that I need to get a job, even though I'm already feeling a lot of pressure regarding college and upcoming classes, and the psychology class I'm in right now. The psychology class isn't hard, I just have awful time management and I'm doing things super early, just to be done with the class, and have ample time to prepare for my other classes (computer science I, pre calculus, and English composition I)

Those are supposed to be 12 credit hours in total, which equates to 12 class hours, don't know how it'll work since it's all online but I'm terrified honestly. Especially of precalc, and comp. sci. I, English comp. Is probably gonna be mostly essays and writing assignments which I've always been good at but programming seems scary, as does the 5 credit hour precalculus class.

I'm never gonna be able to be what they want me to be. I don't feel like my mom gives a shit about what I do, which isn't necessarily a good thing either. I just wish I had someone in my life who could tell me what I'm doing currently is good enough :(

 

[SexyIncél]

Yeah it's ridiculous. What you're doing is certainly good enough!

Your aunt's intervention/pressure is obviously counterproductive. Triggers superficial fight-or-flight thinking and wears you down with stress. Lightness = better

So she should look in the mirror and fix her errors. Not point the finger at yours. Family you get randomly. They're not a team you chose. Zero reason to expect them to be qualified advisors

Speaking of qualified advisors, maybe you'll find Justin Sung helpful

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yeah it's ridiculous. What you're doing is certainly good enough!

Your aunt's intervention/pressure is obviously counterproductive. Triggers superficial fight-or-flight thinking and wears you down with stress. Lightness = better

So she should look in the mirror and fix her errors. Not point the finger at yours. Family you get randomly. They're not a team you chose. Zero reason to expect them to be qualified advisors

Speaking of qualified advisors, maybe you'll find Justin Sung helpful

I feel like she's projecting but it doesn't make it any less hurtful. She wanted to go to college but got pregnant and decided not to, and is now a SAHM.

And I agree, I don't mean to bash her or anything but it's awful the way she makes me feel sometimes. I'll probably stick with just visiting my grandpa for a bit, I don't feel pressure by him.

And if I can remember, I'll watch some of his videos after class tomorrow. Any specific video recommendations?

 

[SexyIncél]

And if I can remember, I'll watch some of his videos after class tomorrow. Any specific video recommendations?

Hmm, I don't know your specific problems/inefficiencies -- if you even have any. Maybe something about task management. Prefer newer to older vids, as he may have learned things in the meantime

If his ideas turn out to strongly benefit you, you may like his program, with community. Costs money, but scholarships available