Xaeniak
Bootlegged doll
- Sep 14, 2023
- 27
IDK if anyone will find this helpful, but I think I may have found a path towards overcoming my SI. Internal Family Systems therapy isn't explicitly designed for this, but I think it may help me overcome some of the psychological blocks keeping me from ctb.
Short version, IFS views everyone as composed of different parts, each of which is essentially a complete person unto themselves. They fall into categories of exiles, managers, and firefighters, and they can have conflicting beliefs and relationships with each other, and parts can even have their own parts. It sounds a bit like DID or split personality stuff, but it's not to that level.
Basically, my idea is to try to identify which of your part(s) are keeping you from ctb. I won't post a link publicly, but I'd recommend the books No Bad Parts or Internal Family Systems Therapy, both by Richard Schwartz. They're both pirateable if your local library doesn't have them, and go into greater depth on locating and working with your individual parts.
In my case, my parts are named after archetypal figures, like the Sage, the Magician, the Sovereign, etc. During my last suicide attempt, none of my parts wanted to live, but one, the Fool, wouldn't let me ctb. It took a while to work with him enough to find out why, but I think he doesn't think I deserve to die. He thinks it's right that we should suffer, or that we need someone else's permission to ctb first.
Obviously I'm still here, so it's still a work in progress, but I'm really hoping I can convince him that we DO deserve some peace, or that the Sovereign can be that figure of authority for him, and he'll stand aside during my next attempt.
Sorry for rambling, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, just thought it might be interesting to someone. Has anyone heard of therapy for overcoming SI? Got any other recommendations for me to look into?
Short version, IFS views everyone as composed of different parts, each of which is essentially a complete person unto themselves. They fall into categories of exiles, managers, and firefighters, and they can have conflicting beliefs and relationships with each other, and parts can even have their own parts. It sounds a bit like DID or split personality stuff, but it's not to that level.
Basically, my idea is to try to identify which of your part(s) are keeping you from ctb. I won't post a link publicly, but I'd recommend the books No Bad Parts or Internal Family Systems Therapy, both by Richard Schwartz. They're both pirateable if your local library doesn't have them, and go into greater depth on locating and working with your individual parts.
In my case, my parts are named after archetypal figures, like the Sage, the Magician, the Sovereign, etc. During my last suicide attempt, none of my parts wanted to live, but one, the Fool, wouldn't let me ctb. It took a while to work with him enough to find out why, but I think he doesn't think I deserve to die. He thinks it's right that we should suffer, or that we need someone else's permission to ctb first.
Obviously I'm still here, so it's still a work in progress, but I'm really hoping I can convince him that we DO deserve some peace, or that the Sovereign can be that figure of authority for him, and he'll stand aside during my next attempt.
Sorry for rambling, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, just thought it might be interesting to someone. Has anyone heard of therapy for overcoming SI? Got any other recommendations for me to look into?
