how to get over the person you thought would be the love of your life?

[GASLIGHTER7000]

he's gone forever. and it's mostly my fault. we both had our faults but i fucked so many things up. i was basically forced to choose between my parents and him, and i chose my parents- i had to either book a flight to see him (my parents are muslim, they were against us seeing eachother/having pre-marital sex. they told me if i go to see him, i should just stay there forever) or we had to break up- he had to move on with his life. i get it. but i'm an adult, i could've just went and saw him. i did so many bad things to him, and i know he was in so much pain while he was alone but i turned a blind eye to it, because i was selfish and scared my parents would hate me. i'm scared i'm going to spend the rest of my life crying over him, i've spent everyday crying since he's moved on. he says he's happy without me but i keep disturbing his life. i just want to book a flight to see him and apologize. i want us to love eachother again, we planned so much together. i feel so empty inside, like there's a void that can never be filled without him. i feel like the loneliness in my life will stay forever. he was with me when my life was most difficult, he fixed everything and i fell so deeply in love with him. i have so many memories of him. everything about him was perfect, to the smallest detail. on the other hand, he was just doing charity work for me. i know so many things about me caused him trouble. i can't imagine a future without him. he was kind and handsome, he was so strong and so many of our interests aligned. still, i managed to lose him... he once told me he knew he'd be with me forever. i believed him so deeply, whenever i had doubts or fears i thought back to that moment and thought he'd never leave

i just want him back... if you've lost the love of your life before then what did you do to get over it? and how long did it take before you stopped waking up thinking about them?

 

[F@#$]

Love is a lie

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

Love is a lie

i dont think i can love again

 

[anxiousdweller]

he's gone forever. and it's mostly my fault. we both had our faults but i fucked so many things up. i was basically forced to choose between my parents and him, and i chose my parents- i had to either book a flight to see him (my parents are muslim, they were against us seeing eachother/having pre-marital sex. they told me if i go to see him, i should just stay there forever) or we had to break up- he had to move on with his life. i get it. but i'm an adult, i could've just went and saw him. i did so many bad things to him, and i know he was in so much pain while he was alone but i turned a blind eye to it, because i was selfish and scared my parents would hate me. i'm scared i'm going to spend the rest of my life crying over him, i've spent everyday crying since he's moved on. he says he's happy without me but i keep disturbing his life. i just want to book a flight to see him and apologize. i want us to love eachother again, we planned so much together. i feel so empty inside, like there's a void that can never be filled without him. i feel like the loneliness in my life will stay forever. he was with me when my life was most difficult, he fixed everything and i fell so deeply in love with him. i have so many memories of him. everything about him was perfect, to the smallest detail. on the other hand, he was just doing charity work for me. i know so many things about me caused him trouble. i can't imagine a future without him. he was kind and handsome, he was so strong and so many of our interests aligned. still, i managed to lose him... he once told me he knew he'd be with me forever. i believed him so deeply, whenever i had doubts or fears i thought back to that moment and thought he'd never leave

i just want him back... if you've lost the love of your life before then what did you do to get over it? and how long did it take before you stopped waking up thinking about them?

If you found the "cure" let me know im 8 months out since the break up still trying to pull it together

 

[behindtheveil]

I am sorry for your loss. But don't despair be glad you got to spend and create so many sweet memories with him. Love is eternal and cannot be broken so easily. So a small bit of advice- if he was truly your love, then time will unite you in this life or beyond.

 

[tonicer]

I doubt there is a way to get over it. I am still in love with the lady i went to evening school with and that was ~20 years ago. I was 23 back then she was around that age too and just wonderful. She had it all. She was beautiful and smart and nice and she was as radiant as the sun. My confidence back then was even lower than it is today and i never even thought in my wildest dreams that i had even a slight chance with her. I wish i could forget her but i can't. Once i kill myself that painful memory will finally leave me and i can't wait.

 

[Electra]

Date them until you hate everything about that relationship. When you disconnect emotionally before finally making that move. If you still love your ex - you just haven't dated them long enough to see shit go down.

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

Date them until you hate everything about that relationship. When you disconnect emotionally before finally making that move. If you still love your ex - you just haven't dated them long enough to see shit go down.

i think he got to that point lol. he hates me now
im still stuck here though... in love with him

 

[bpdscared9]

This is very unfortunate, your parents put you in a tough situation and unfortunately, this is not your fault. All relationships has ups and downs, it's inevitable and that doesn't make you a bad person, you didn't offer too much context about your actions or his actions but if they weren't fully 'abusive' or toxic, then it's also part of a relationship. This is pretty unfair and it's totally valid you're going through this despite of him moving on. You made a decision and well, even if it hurts, he also has the right to start over again and re-do his life with someone else, if one day he agree with coming back, you can still try but my advice for you in this situation is just moving on and heal. Loving may be very hard and even more in your society, trust me, I get it better than anyone.

I wish you a safe healing journey, OP. Give yourself a break, forgive yourself one day and heal.

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

This is very unfortunate, your parents put you in a tough situation and unfortunately, this is not your fault. All relationships has ups and downs, it's inevitable and that doesn't make you a bad person, you didn't offer too much context about your actions or his actions but if they weren't fully 'abusive' or toxic, then it's also part of a relationship. This is pretty unfair and it's totally valid you're going through this despite of him moving on. You made a decision and well, even if it hurts, he also has the right to start over again and re-do his life with someone else, if one day he agree with coming back, you can still try but my advice for you in this situation is just moving on and heal. Loving may be very hard and even more in your society, trust me, I get it better than anyone.

I wish you a safe healing journey, OP. Give yourself a break, forgive yourself one day and heal.

thank you. i try to think the same way. i know we blamed each other a lot, and it's easy for me to point fingers... but we were just two people with our own struggles. i can say he was a bad person, but i spent months with him, i know he wasn't at all. i don't know if thinking that way makes it easier to move on or not. im glad i have friends who help steer my mindset... i think the best thing that has came out of all of this is that i realized a lot of people are there for me, more than i realized...