If you're planning to commit suicide, you can ask me to make music for you for free.

[TLEEA]

Title says it all. If you're going to CTB, or are planning to CTB soon, I will make a song for you for free. If there is anything in particular that you want to express to the world before you die, I can help you with that through the format of music.

To the mods, feel free to warn me if this violates one of the rules.

Some background context

Probably no one is going to really want this, but I'm fucking tired of having to say something of the world. Music assumes that you have something to say about the world. I don't care anymore, really, and I don't think what I have to say matters. I'm tired of pretending it does. But maybe you want what you're saying to matter. Maybe if someone wants to help you say what you're saying, then you'll make it matter. So if you choose to go with something like this, I'll help in that regard.

I tend to make noise rock, industrial rock, math rock, shoegaze, alternative rock, and dream pop music. I also tend to string a lot of orchestral parts with it. To assure you, I've been making and producing music somewhat seriously for the past 2 years. I've only gotten pretty decent at it recently. I've released 2 singles so far, an industrial rock song and a black-metal shoegaze song. The first one is in my native language, Filipino, and the second is in English. I can probably make you songs outside of these genres, but it will take a bit longer, and I will have to let you know if I can't follow your preferences.

Here is a GDrive link of the best music I've tried to make so far. I have official releases for this, but I'm not linking them because I'm not promoting my music. I am only trying to assure you that I'm somewhat decent at making music.


How will this work?

1. Firstly, YOU WILL NOT LET ME KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. You will not provide me details that will put you at risk. To my best extent, I won't provide you details that will put me at risk. I only need to know your story. I don't have to know who you are, where you live, things like that.
2. Secondly, I will ask for your consent that this project will be inherently personal to the both of us. Within this creative process, we will likely know personal about each other by accident. These personal details can be held liable.
3. We'll talk. We'll converse for a while. I will ask you why you want to CTB. I will ask you what your plan is for CTB. I need to know how far you are in wanting to kill yourself.
4. I will ask you why you wanted someone to write a song about you Catching The Bus. It will get personal, even after Rule 2. Do know that this song will be one of the last things you'll leave behind, should you choose to die.
5. We'll talk about how you want the music to sound like. You'll send me the sort of music you may want it to sound like. There will be a creative conflict between us, but I'll try our best to reconcile that. This is the start of the music-making process, so we'll address the following:
   1. What genre/s of music?
   2. Loud, or subtle?
   3. Has vocals, or is purely instrumental?
   4. Repetitive sections? Verse-chorus-bridge format? Loose format, like a ballad?
   5. Will you record your own vocals?
   6. Will I help you write the lyrics?
   7. This will all be easier if you send me what sort of music you want the song to sound like.
6. I'll make the music for you. I wager that the whole process will take 4-6 weeks. I will let you know of the song's progress throughout the song-making process. I'll edit the song based on your comments.
7. We'll talk about how to release the music soon after this. The specifics are really only important when the song is done.

Is there a price?

No prices. If you are planning to kill yourself, I will write and make a song for you for absolutely free. You own the song, and you can release it by your own if you want.

I only have one favor to ask, that I also release the song under an artist name, releasing songs dedicated to people who are about to kill themselves. I have already written songs under this artist name, because I'm also about to kill myself soon. These songs are the very 2 I shared above. But I'm done saying things. It's better for all this wasted creative energy to be spent somewhere else, perhaps for suicidals who need help in expressing things about themselves.

I will also mention that I will NOT produce music for you. I will only produce music for you because you are going to kill yourself. The music I am making is not about people, ideas, or the world. It is about suicide. It is about going away in a sudden moment, having no time or space for further closure.

The artist name will not be about my personal artistic expressions, but artistic expressions of suicide between many different people. I hope you understand. The artist name will only be used for this project, expressing music about suicidal people, and NOT about me.

Read this word vomit, and perhaps interested?
Talk with me through my SS account here.

I can only work on 2 songs at any given point in time, so if it ever comes to that, I will have to deny your request until I'm open again. Future apologies.

 

[Ginnn]

This looks interesting. I wish I had creativity needed

 

[Euthanza]

I love everything about suicide art. Good luck with the project.

 

[Hollowillow]

Title says it all. If you're going to CTB, or are planning to CTB soon, I will make a song for you for free. If there is anything in particular that you want to express to the world before you die, I can help you with that through the format of music.

To the mods, feel free to warn me if this violates one of the rules.

Some background context

Probably no one is going to really want this, but I'm fucking tired of having to say something of the world. Music assumes that you have something to say about the world. I don't care anymore, really, and I don't think what I have to say matters. I'm tired of pretending it does. But maybe you want what you're saying to matter. Maybe if someone wants to help you say what you're saying, then you'll make it matter. So if you choose to go with something like this, I'll help in that regard.

I tend to make noise rock, industrial rock, math rock, shoegaze, alternative rock, and dream pop music. I also tend to string a lot of orchestral parts with it. To assure you, I've been making and producing music somewhat seriously for the past 2 years. I've only gotten pretty decent at it recently. I've released 2 singles so far, an industrial rock song and a black-metal shoegaze song. The first one is in my native language, Filipino, and the second is in English. I can probably make you songs outside of these genres, but it will take a bit longer, and I will have to let you know if I can't follow your preferences.

Here is a GDrive link of the best music I've tried to make so far. I have official releases for this, but I'm not linking them because I'm not promoting my music. I am only trying to assure you that I'm somewhat decent at making music.


How will this work?

1. Firstly, YOU WILL NOT LET ME KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. You will not provide me details that will put you at risk. To my best extent, I won't provide you details that will put me at risk. I only need to know your story. I don't have to know who you are, where you live, things like that.
2. Secondly, I will ask for your consent that this project will be inherently personal to the both of us. Within this creative process, we will likely know personal about each other by accident. These personal details can be held liable.
3. We'll talk. We'll converse for a while. I will ask you why you want to CTB. I will ask you what your plan is for CTB. I need to know how far you are in wanting to kill yourself.
4. I will ask you why you wanted someone to write a song about you Catching The Bus. It will get personal, even after Rule 2. Do know that this song will be one of the last things you'll leave behind, should you choose to die.
5. We'll talk about how you want the music to sound like. You'll send me the sort of music you may want it to sound like. There will be a creative conflict between us, but I'll try our best to reconcile that. This is the start of the music-making process, so we'll address the following:
   1. What genre/s of music?
   2. Loud, or subtle?
   3. Has vocals, or is purely instrumental?
   4. Repetitive sections? Verse-chorus-bridge format? Loose format, like a ballad?
   5. Will you record your own vocals?
   6. Will I help you write the lyrics?
   7. This will all be easier if you send me what sort of music you want the song to sound like.
6. I'll make the music for you. I wager that the whole process will take 4-6 weeks. I will let you know of the song's progress throughout the song-making process. I'll edit the song based on your comments.
7. We'll talk about how to release the music soon after this. The specifics are really only important when the song is done.

Is there a price?

No prices. If you are planning to kill yourself, I will write and make a song for you for absolutely free. You own the song, and you can release it by your own if you want.

I only have one favor to ask, that I also release the song under an artist name, releasing songs dedicated to people who are about to kill themselves. I have already written songs under this artist name, because I'm also about to kill myself soon. These songs are the very 2 I shared above. But I'm done saying things. It's better for all this wasted creative energy to be spent somewhere else, perhaps for suicidals who need help in expressing things about themselves.

I will also mention that I will NOT produce music for you. I will only produce music for you because you are going to kill yourself. The music I am making is not about people, ideas, or the world. It is about suicide. It is about going away in a sudden moment, having no time or space for further closure.

The artist name will not be about my personal artistic expressions, but artistic expressions of suicide between many different people. I hope you understand. The artist name will only be used for this project, expressing music about suicidal people, and NOT about me.

Read this word vomit, and perhaps interested?
Talk with me through my SS account here.

I can only work on 2 songs at any given point in time, so if it ever comes to that, I will have to deny your request until I'm open again. Future apologies.

I wish for a song, soft, violins, that explains what ss is about. That after being shamed & invaludated by family, friends, social services... we can finally open our hearts, be heard, by people who understand our chronic diseases, our traumas, that makes life worse than death... To find a hug, a friend, to have our existence validated... And for those who really need to exit life, advice to avoid ending up crippled... To go peacefully... Until society acknowledge that not all bodies are viable... That pills can't heal a broken soul...

I called for help but was denied.
I screamed for help but wasn't heard.
I opened my heart but was rejected.
I opened my mind but was invalidated.
I was treated like trash but forbidden to take out the trash.
Save me or kill me.
Save me by killing me.
No one can live alone without help.
No one should have to die alone without help.
I just wanted to love but was hated.
I wanted to be productive but was discarted.
My birth was never wanted but my death is.
Just free me from this life instead to ostracize me.
I was shamed if I did self care.
I was shamed if I cried after assault.
I was shamed for being born.
I was shamed for trying to die.
Make up your mind, you'te driving me crazy.
If you want me alive, stop torturing me.
If you want me dead, don't mind me trying.
We could create a world worth living, but you didn't let me.

Thank you
(your google drive says access denied? Explain how to listen to your music like I'm dum?)

 

[Euthanza]

I wish for a song, soft, violins, that explains what ss is about. That after being shamed & invaludated by family, friends, social services... we can finally open our hearts, be heard, by people who understand our chronic diseases, our traumas, that makes life worse than death... To find a hug, a friend, to have our existence validated... And for those who really need to exit life, advice to avoid ending up crippled... To go peacefully... Until society acknowledge that not all bodies are viable... That pills can't heal a broken soul...

I called for help but was denied.
I screamed for help but wasn't heard.
I opened my heart but was rejected.
I opened my mind but was invalidated.
I was treated like trash but forbidden to take out the trash.
Save me or kill me.
Save me by killing me.
No one can live alone without help.
No one should have to die alone without help.
I just wanted to love but was hated.
I wanted to be productive but was discarted.
My birth was never wanted but my death is.
Just free me from this life instead to ostracize me.
I was shamed if I did self care.
I was shamed if I cried after assault.
I was shamed for being born.
I was shamed for trying to die.
Make up your mind, you'te driving me crazy.
If you want me alive, stop torturing me.
If you want me dead, don't mind me trying.
We could create a world worth living, but you didn't let me.

Thank you
(your google drive says access denied? Explain how to listen to your music like I'm dum?)

I think you need to send request first, btw that poem/lyric is good start, it perfectly describe our suicidal situation from first person POV, awesome!

 

[Hollowillow]

I think you need to send request first, btw that poem/lyric is good start, it perfectly describe our suicidal situation from first person POV, awesome!

A request to use his drive? Or by pm? I have no one so no one would hear the song. But I wish we could post pro choice music.

I want to live. I want to be saved.
But when I call for help, they refuse to hear the problem to help me find solutions.
They say the problem is me and my emotions.
So the pain grow and grow and grow!
The physical pain wasn't just in my head & now it's too late.
The despair grew and grew and grew.
They shamed me.
They invalidated me.
They drugged me.
They locked me.
But they never gave me hope!
They never gave me solutions!
I tried to asked around, but suicide is scary, people fear death, so they banned me.
All alone facing pain.
All alone facing death.
Not by my hand, but by my fate.
I want to live! Save me save me!
I'm lonely! Hear me hear me!
I'm scared! Hug me hug me!
Then I found a community.
All longing for death.
All longing for release.
All longing to be free.
We understand each other, even for unbelievable pains.
We hear each other, even for unbearable pains.
We stay.
For each other.
We stay alive.
Talking about suicide.
We stay hopeful.
To be free.
We feel happier.
We're less lonely.
We couldn't connect with positive people about joys we can't reach.
We can connect with realistic people about sadness we all endured.
Don't take my community away!
They're not the ones killing me! It's the cruelty in society!
Don't take my community away!
Helping me find a painless way to have euthanasia is a kindness that society should have offered me.
Don't take my community away!
Talking about suicide comforts me. I need to be free!
Don't take my community away!
You took my free speech away and suffocated me, leave us in peace privately.
Don't take my community away!
My family, friends & social services turned on me. But they welcomed me!
Don't take my voice away!
Don't take my emotions away!
You take my life away!
Don't silence my reality, help me improve it!
I am not a perfect tool!
Let me be flawed!
Let me be broken!
Let me be sad!
Let me be!
Let me not be!
I want to live. I want to be saved from my pain not from my own decisions.
If I can't live life. Then let me choose death.
You don't want us to die.
But you refuse to let us be us.
I can't be you. I can't be happy in pain.
Don't add more. If you don't help don't get in the way of those who do.
I'm on a suicide site because I need to.
I found solace here because society failed me.
You can't shame someone into happiness.
You can't censor someone into happiness.
You can't drug someone into happiness.
Stop being selfish silencing our calls for help, our feelings, our reality.
Stop denying us who we are, life, and the right to die.
I wish live! I wish to be saved!
But by trying to force me instead to help me find real solutions... You doomed me to suffer the unbearable.
I called for help but the help was just more abuse.
I found real compassion and you want to take it away.
I found people who want to hear me but you want to take it away.
You want to pass laws to isolate me all alone with my pain in silence.
So you can pretend that you created the perfect world.
What are you affraid off, that your victims will flee in death?
What are you affraid off, that your victims will gang together and revolt?
I am affraid to die.
But I am more scared to live in a heartless world saved by cruel people who never cared about me.
To save someone you must hear their need.
To save someone you must open your heart.
Someone who only care about filling a form can't save anyone.
You wouldn't be able to save me even if you wanted to.
I want to be understood, but you never suffered like I did.
I want to be understood, but you don't want to hear.
You can't save someone if you don't understand what they need.
You can't save someone if you turn their life into more pain.
You took everything from us, let us have each other.
You denied our pain and who we are.
Let us have each other.
You denied help to get what we need to survive.
Let us talk about how much death would be a peaceful rest.
Let us talk about how much we failed at what you expected from us.
Let us talk about how sad we are that we are unable to live, unable to save ourselves.
Let us talk about how much we're dying, feel dead, and how we can end our suffering.
I want to live! I want to be saved!
But I can't. Denied by the saviors.
I was saved by finding other people who are doomed.
We try to find solutions, and sometimes it's suicide.
I envy you if you never felt a pain worse than death.
I envy you if you're productive & welcomed in society.
I envy you if you aren't ostracized for a handicap.
I envy you if you never had traumas that destroyed your very being.
I envy you if you don't have chronic pain.
I envy you if you have enough energy to do vasic self care.
I envy you if you don't constantly want to scream in pain bedridden.
But not everyone is so lucky.
I want to live. But I can't.
I want to be saved, but only death is willing to.
The only people who want to be my friends, gear me, comfort me, understand me, help me the way I need, and love me... Are other suicidal people. But you want to destroy our community, the glimpse of hope and solace left in our doom.
I'm not dust for you to hide under the carpet.
I'm not a pet to pull by the leash.
I'm not cattle to be productive.
I wasn't born to be you or make you happy.
I'm not even able to be me and make myself happy.
It's not talking about suicide that kills us, while we talk we keep living.
What kills us is taking our voice away... To force us to be what we can never be.
You killed us inside long before we'll die.
It's only the support from other suicidal people that helps me hold on.
Because they understand and validate me.
They give me a place to rest and be me.
Here I don't need to exhaust myself playing the perfect role so people can stay in ignorant bliss.
Here I can be myself.
In a forum about suicide, I have never felt more real, more alive.
Death is acknowledge here, pain, sadness...
So many precious part of life that society keeps denying.
You're the ones who deny life, reality, our right to be.
You're the ones who made us feel inadequate, unworthy, failures, dead inside.
I wish to be saved... From your coertion.
I wish to be saved... From your denial.
I wished to be saved... From fake abusive help.
I wish to be saved... From exploitation.
I wish to be saved... from exhausting myself to take care of others but not me.
I wish to be saved... From chronic physical pain.
I wish to be saved... From traumas.
I don't need to be saved from my emotions.
I don't need to be saved from my opinions.
I don't need to be saved from the people who understand my wish to die.
Some of us need to be saved... From life.

 

[Euthanza]

A request to use his drive? Or by pm?

Request access to G-drive, just click on top right to send

 

[brokensea]

Mine couldn't be made into a song but here's a poem I wrote:

War machines battle
On this forgotten place
lost between the anchors of time
I feel the powdery hands of snow
Enveloping me in coldness
I know what it is to die
The blackness sings forever
Starless skies expand endlessly
Their roots entangle inside me
I lay down and listen
To the life I once had
Fading away
Banished to this place
I wait,
and wait
for nothing

 

[Hollowillow]

Request access to G-drive, just click on top right to send

Thanks the link acted differently a 2nd time. I refused to allow access to my contacts I hope he'll get the request

Mine couldn't be made into a song but here's a poem I wrote:

War machines battle
On this forgotten place
lost between the anchors of time
I feel the powdery hands of snow
Enveloping me in coldness
I know what it is to die
The blackness sings forever
Starless skies expand endlessly
Their roots entangle inside me
I lay down and listen
To the life I once had
Fading away
Banished to this place
I wait,
and wait
for nothing

Wow. Deep... I'm unable to die so it moved me.

I suck at poems but if I wrote something useful feel free to use it to make a pro ss song

 

[brokensea]

Thanks the link acted differently a 2nd time. I refused to allow access to my contacts I hope he'll get the request

Wow. Deep... I'm unable to die so it moved me.

I suck at poems but if I wrote something useful feel free to use it to make a pro ss song

Thank you <3

 

[Funeralprincess]

Title says it all. If you're going to CTB, or are planning to CTB soon, I will make a song for you for free. If there is anything in particular that you want to express to the world before you die, I can help you with that through the format of music.

To the mods, feel free to warn me if this violates one of the rules.

Some background context

Probably no one is going to really want this, but I'm fucking tired of having to say something of the world. Music assumes that you have something to say about the world. I don't care anymore, really, and I don't think what I have to say matters. I'm tired of pretending it does. But maybe you want what you're saying to matter. Maybe if someone wants to help you say what you're saying, then you'll make it matter. So if you choose to go with something like this, I'll help in that regard.

I tend to make noise rock, industrial rock, math rock, shoegaze, alternative rock, and dream pop music. I also tend to string a lot of orchestral parts with it. To assure you, I've been making and producing music somewhat seriously for the past 2 years. I've only gotten pretty decent at it recently. I've released 2 singles so far, an industrial rock song and a black-metal shoegaze song. The first one is in my native language, Filipino, and the second is in English. I can probably make you songs outside of these genres, but it will take a bit longer, and I will have to let you know if I can't follow your preferences.

Here is a GDrive link of the best music I've tried to make so far. I have official releases for this, but I'm not linking them because I'm not promoting my music. I am only trying to assure you that I'm somewhat decent at making music.


How will this work?

1. Firstly, YOU WILL NOT LET ME KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. You will not provide me details that will put you at risk. To my best extent, I won't provide you details that will put me at risk. I only need to know your story. I don't have to know who you are, where you live, things like that.
2. Secondly, I will ask for your consent that this project will be inherently personal to the both of us. Within this creative process, we will likely know personal about each other by accident. These personal details can be held liable.
3. We'll talk. We'll converse for a while. I will ask you why you want to CTB. I will ask you what your plan is for CTB. I need to know how far you are in wanting to kill yourself.
4. I will ask you why you wanted someone to write a song about you Catching The Bus. It will get personal, even after Rule 2. Do know that this song will be one of the last things you'll leave behind, should you choose to die.
5. We'll talk about how you want the music to sound like. You'll send me the sort of music you may want it to sound like. There will be a creative conflict between us, but I'll try our best to reconcile that. This is the start of the music-making process, so we'll address the following:
   1. What genre/s of music?
   2. Loud, or subtle?
   3. Has vocals, or is purely instrumental?
   4. Repetitive sections? Verse-chorus-bridge format? Loose format, like a ballad?
   5. Will you record your own vocals?
   6. Will I help you write the lyrics?
   7. This will all be easier if you send me what sort of music you want the song to sound like.
6. I'll make the music for you. I wager that the whole process will take 4-6 weeks. I will let you know of the song's progress throughout the song-making process. I'll edit the song based on your comments.
7. We'll talk about how to release the music soon after this. The specifics are really only important when the song is done.

Is there a price?

No prices. If you are planning to kill yourself, I will write and make a song for you for absolutely free. You own the song, and you can release it by your own if you want.

I only have one favor to ask, that I also release the song under an artist name, releasing songs dedicated to people who are about to kill themselves. I have already written songs under this artist name, because I'm also about to kill myself soon. These songs are the very 2 I shared above. But I'm done saying things. It's better for all this wasted creative energy to be spent somewhere else, perhaps for suicidals who need help in expressing things about themselves.

I will also mention that I will NOT produce music for you. I will only produce music for you because you are going to kill yourself. The music I am making is not about people, ideas, or the world. It is about suicide. It is about going away in a sudden moment, having no time or space for further closure.

The artist name will not be about my personal artistic expressions, but artistic expressions of suicide between many different people. I hope you understand. The artist name will only be used for this project, expressing music about suicidal people, and NOT about me.

Read this word vomit, and perhaps interested?
Talk with me through my SS account here.

I can only work on 2 songs at any given point in time, so if it ever comes to that, I will have to deny your request until I'm open again. Future apologies.

Well I plan on going in a few months so I'd love to

 

[TLEEA]

Well I plan on going in a few months so I'd love to

Seems that I can't DM you myself. If you still want to do it, just DM me.

If you can't DM me, I'll send you an anonymous Discord tag, if you don't mind. Don't know much about other anonymous chat apps.