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Vox

Vox

Member
Mar 28, 2018
54
Think of the last serious movie you watched. Something where the main character is going through some hopeless, hellish crap and the whole thing feels like it's going to end bad.

Did you walk out? Or did you watch the whole movie?

Ok, let's assume you watched the whole thing. Why? Maybe it was interesting. Maybe you had nothing else to do. Whatever, I'll cut to the point... If you were watching a movie about your life--not actually living it, not actually feeling the pain/burden/shame of the main character--chances are you wouldn't be so hell bent on putting a bullet through the movie projector to end the flick.

My question is why can't we see our real lives this way? Wouldn't that solve all our problems? Whatsamatter, are you broke, homeless, ugly and hated by everyone... That sounds like an interesting movie, I wonder how it'll turn out.

Or more to the point, suppose the "movie" is about someone whose life sucks, but this person's life will impact others in a very important way. I know you're probably thinking "Yeah right, I have nothing important to share with the world" but you never know. And I guess that's the whole point of letting the movie play out til the end.

Well now that I've given you the spiel, let me tell you 1 quick paragraph about me. I swear I'm going to fng kill myself. I'm just waiting for the trigger (in my case it's very specific and inevitable) and everything gets set in motion. So I'm just waiting every day for that death sentence. At the moment all is quiet, I'm in control, so I can manage to form a few coherent sentences and semi logical thoughts. All this stuff about looking at my life objectively as if it were a movie... Sure, I should live. There are things I need to do. All the logic in the world says the movie must go on.

But it won't.
 
ChizuruN

ChizuruN

Failure at Living, Failure at Dying
Mar 20, 2018
87
This is really interesting.
Viewing my life from the standpoint of a movie... well...

It makes me realize that most of my problems could be solved with a simple change of perspective and some hard work.

But it's not really easy to change that perspective, when you've already decided that your life is utterly worth nothing.
 
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Vox

Vox

Member
Mar 28, 2018
54
Maybe that's the point of suicide... to give ourselves a heroic ending.

I guess what I'm saying is what if you kill yourself too soon? What if the hero dies in the first 20 minutes and the movie is over? That would definitely be a sucky movie.

I dunno. This morning I'm 1 coffee away from driving to the bridge and jumping off, so maybe everything I'm saying is bs. But I really feel like an objective viewer would look at my life and say it needs to continue.

Like ChizuruN said, problems can be solved. Even mine, as impossible as it seems. But I'm not really in the mood to solve them, so I'd rather die. Lame movie. Stupid plot, lazy conclusion. I just wish to hell I could be that person on the outside who sees some value in all this.

There was this alcoholic guy who drank himself to death a little while ago. I was one of the people hired to sort out the mess he left behind. He was a musician composer and had hours of recordings he made but never finished. All of it got thrown away by his family. Talk about a sucky ending. If he had just finished it, published it, or just put it up on youtube, then his "movie" would've had an interesting ending. Instead it's all in some landfill, like all his suffering was for nothing.
 
F

fadeaway

Member
Mar 28, 2018
5
"Instead it's all in some landfill, like all his suffering was for nothing.", it does not matter who sees it, dead Composers get better recognition....... don't really are if they know I'm gone, leaving here is my goal, noting really matters any more
 
Dead Girl Don't Care

Dead Girl Don't Care

Trying but still Dying
Mar 26, 2018
42
There was this alcoholic guy who drank himself to death a little while ago. I was one of the people hired to sort out the mess he left behind. He was a musician composer and had hours of recordings he made but never finished. All of it got thrown away by his family. Talk about a sucky ending. If he had just finished it, published it, or just put it up on youtube, then his "movie" would've had an interesting ending. Instead it's all in some landfill, like all his suffering was for nothing.

Yeah, and as "sad" as that is, when I hear that story I just think, well even if his work was shared everyone that would have listened to it is going to die, everyone that could listen to it will die and in the end it really won't matter whether he finished it or not.

Just like I don't think it matters if or when I die, the observers of my movie are all going to die so what the hell do I care if they think I'm a shitty hero who gave up too soon. I know I'm a shitty hero which I why I'm cutting this film short.
 
ChizuruN

ChizuruN

Failure at Living, Failure at Dying
Mar 20, 2018
87
But I'm not really in the mood to solve them, so I'd rather die. Lame movie. Stupid plot, lazy conclusion.
This is actually a very accurate description of my life.
I'm pretty pathetic, eh?
 
Vox

Vox

Member
Mar 28, 2018
54
Yeah, and as "sad" as that is, when I hear that story I just think, well even if his work was shared everyone that would have listened to it is going to die, everyone that could listen to it will die and in the end it really won't matter whether he finished it or not.

Just like I don't think it matters if or when I die, the observers of my movie are all going to die so what the hell do I care if they think I'm a shitty hero who gave up too soon. I know I'm a shitty hero which I why I'm cutting this film short.

Yea... today that's all I can focus on. Woke up doing my best to convince myself that I'll accomplish something, but immediately I came to the same conclusion you did. There's nothing worth accomplishing so why bother :/

This is actually a very accurate description of my life.
I'm pretty pathetic, eh?

Hm there's a fine line between pathetic and genius. Maybe cutting out early is the smartest thing anyone can do.

I'd love to see the audience try to get their money back after my movie ends. NO REFUNDS BITCHES
 
M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
Mulholland Drive. The story of a

delusional woman who eventually wakes up, freaks out and put a bullet through her own skull.
 
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brighter

brighter

Warlock
Jan 22, 2019
718
I think if my life was a movie I would probably live and be cast as some resilient, shining girl who fights her way through challenges.

Unfortunately, this is real life where there is often no one rooting for you, love doesn't overcome all, and mental health problems don't just get solved by medication and trips to Barbados with a loving family.

And often what good deeds we do are either not recognised or not enough to save us.
 
Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
bruce almighty, but without god appearing in front of me, just the fails.
 
J

jayfox

Student
Apr 19, 2019
150
It woul be a tragedy....so bad it would be funny , maybe like an old Looney tunes cartoon or Tarantino movie
 
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gnrluver0105

gnrluver0105

Member
Nov 25, 2018
58
I always liked movies with weird endings or plots, where some of the main characters die, it gives them some dark feeling, so, I think it's not a soo bad ending.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I would ask for a new script !
Maybe i should view my life as a movie and it could give me a different perspective and hope that things could get better.
I think personally i or maybe we have almost distanced ourselves from the need and desire to live to the degree that there is no turning back.
 
EddieAllenPoe

EddieAllenPoe

Specialist
Mar 19, 2019
304
It is kind of funny to think of your life as if it were a movie. There's been a few times I've had lately where it frankly seemed like a holograph. It just doesn't seem real. Especially when I look at people and places that once seemed young and vibrant and now they're becoming old and dilapidated. Some people have said this experience is called "derealization". As if it were just a mental disorder. I don't know. Seems pretty damn real to me to describe life as being a flimsy illusion.

I wish I could say my life had a good script. It certainly has had it's ups and downs. I've met some interesting people. I've had some interesting experiences. I would love for a crazy plot twist where I became the hero. I'm not seeing it lately though.

I would best describe my life's "movie script" as being like the Greek myth of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was punished to push a rock up a hill for all eternity. That's how my life has felt. Like I'm always pushing a damn boulder up a hill. No seeming purpose to it. The weight is absolutely overwhelming. I'm often exhausted. I've slipped a few times and gotten bruised. I haven't completely caved yet though. I'm still pushing. I just keep pushing that stupid rock up the hill. In the back I mind though... I'm always wondering why I don't simply give in to gravity and let the boulder crush me.


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