Think of the last serious movie you watched. Something where the main character is going through some hopeless, hellish crap and the whole thing feels like it's going to end bad.
Did you walk out? Or did you watch the whole movie?
Ok, let's assume you watched the whole thing. Why? Maybe it was interesting. Maybe you had nothing else to do. Whatever, I'll cut to the point... If you were watching a movie about your life--not actually living it, not actually feeling the pain/burden/shame of the main character--chances are you wouldn't be so hell bent on putting a bullet through the movie projector to end the flick.
My question is why can't we see our real lives this way? Wouldn't that solve all our problems? Whatsamatter, are you broke, homeless, ugly and hated by everyone... That sounds like an interesting movie, I wonder how it'll turn out.
Or more to the point, suppose the "movie" is about someone whose life sucks, but this person's life will impact others in a very important way. I know you're probably thinking "Yeah right, I have nothing important to share with the world" but you never know. And I guess that's the whole point of letting the movie play out til the end.
Well now that I've given you the spiel, let me tell you 1 quick paragraph about me. I swear I'm going to fng kill myself. I'm just waiting for the trigger (in my case it's very specific and inevitable) and everything gets set in motion. So I'm just waiting every day for that death sentence. At the moment all is quiet, I'm in control, so I can manage to form a few coherent sentences and semi logical thoughts. All this stuff about looking at my life objectively as if it were a movie... Sure, I should live. There are things I need to do. All the logic in the world says the movie must go on.
But it won't.
