I've been homeless before, in winter. The homeless shelters have limited places, mostly for women with children, so sometimes I'd get a place (seeing as I'm female), sometimes I wouldn't (seeing as I don't have a kid). It was a nightmare. Someone I knew offered me his couch for sex every now and then, which is an arrangement I don't want to be forced into again.
Some shops that are 24/7 open have some nooks where you can sit, but sleeping is of course a problem. I look after myself well, so I'm not drunk or dirty, so they works just let me sit, but if you fall asleep, they kick you out.
I can't go back to work, my partner means the world to me and I cannot see him every day, knowing I'm worthless to him. He is my world. And I know, I used to be his. Maybe I still am. But he isn't well himself at the moment I think. But I am not allowed to help. And that is tearing me apart more than anything.
I know this is easier said than done, I'm just trying to think of ways to maybe help give you some ideas?
(Really my suggestions go for myself as well.)
What about a potential roommate near you?
Maybe just in the nick of time finding a decent one that could pay half the rent?
Salvation army & St Vincent dePaul usually have simple but decent funding for 1 emergency rent payment, Although it certainly depends on that particular city wherever you are and how unpleasant the shelter may or may not be, and how much room they have. I know of 2 small cities right now that from my understanding, they always make room in winter, even if it's just a mat on the floor. Whatever you do, don't risk big city shelters. Heck, greyhound bus could likely bring you to at least a better area in a small town.
Mosques and many churches are often willing to let you sleep in their parking lot or inside for a couple nights. Although not long term unfortunately. it's ridiculous how dangerous america has become for everyone, but especially the homeless.
It's unforgivable how The government can come up with literally trillions of dollars in a day or a week to fund more high tech weapons building, more bombs, funding for more wars to build their oil pipeline through, etc. but they can't (won't) even bother to come up with just 10% of that for their own citizens' suffering.
You can PM me if you want a list of small cities across America that are typically safer (not as scary, cleaner, less crowded) to stay, at least comparatively to crazy big cities, but have somewhat decent shelters (not as gross & dangerous as awful big city shelters)
Homelessness takes a massive damaging toll on anyone, their health, their safety, but especially women.
I don't blame you one bit for being sad and worried. I definitely understand why that would make anyone want to catch the bus.
Hope somehow an answer arrives for you that at least helps you be more comfortable and safer, regardless of ctb.
I would move immediately to better house alone. After that, I would spend at least 1 month contemplating the meaning of life, existence, reality, Universe, etc. If I could come up with satisfactory conclusion and decide to continue this incarnation, there would be many things to do.
I will change my name in order to say goodbye to my past self. Changing my name is also my personal way to "detach" my self from my birth family. I never like them. They contributed to my suffering. I don't want to see them again.
Then, I will move overseas and change my citizenship. I will go back to school and study seriously this time while slowly building my life from the ground up.
i just cried reading your posts, i guess you are probably already gone...
Wherever you are hope you find peace
why won't they help us when we're in such despair?
All these people all over the world...People in power, people with so much extra money in the millions...
Lawmakers who could just pass a law requiring all cities to provide affordable housing (even a small room with shower & food) and emergency assistance...
Why aren't you helping us in our despair ???!!!
people in Finland with their government did it, many other western European nations are following in there footsteps to make it completely unacceptable to have even one person homeless and starving on the streets in their nation, and their community. America could do it if they just decide to make it important. Why is that even a question and some peoples minds? I would sleep better at night knowing that I would have that peace of mind and emergency safety not insecurity, not just for myself and for everyone. Who wants to live in a world where women can get attacked daily because they're sleeping on the sidewalk with nowhere to go?
Who wants to live in a world where people are so cruel to each other that war veterans are starving on the streets with nowhere to sleep after serving their corrupt government that throws them away?
That there are innocent desperate children that are starving as well on the streets all over?
Who wants to live in a world where the choices
Our family makes,
our government makes,
and the community around us makes to let us just go ahead and lose our minds dying
on the streets in terrifying danger?
Why is it that only some people, including myself, make even at least one minute or more of effort to even speak to someone homeless to give them a little dignity, to give them a piece of plentiful food, are so few and so rare in this human species??
If they don't care to help people that are begging for safety, food, a shower, then why be part of this society? Why even be a part of the species anymore?
It's unacceptable, it's unbearable.
