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love_peep

love_peep

Specialist
May 26, 2023
313
For moderators and administrators, if you see this message, then please deactivate this account next Saturday, that is, 7 days after the publication of the thread



Hello dear friends and just the inhabitants of the forum. I want to say that if you see this thread, it means that I still committed suicide. Unfortunately, it is a pity that I had to leave at such a young age, namely at the age of 19. While I was here on the forum, I met a lot of good people who are sincerely ready to help you or write to you with support.It is very cool that in these couple of months I have found so many friends here. Honestly, it feels like I'm already dead from the inside, today is August 1 at 12:12 pm. For quite a long time I tried to Fight my depression, for 5 months I suffered and very much, because every day I got worse and worse until I turned into a vegetable. I tried many different antidepressants and even took benzo, but there was zero sense, neither psychologists, nor pills, nor a mental hospital helped me at all in any way, and this is sad.'Cause I've lost everything, now everything has changed since the month of April , I became very insensitive and dull, at the moment I just sit and wait for 6 hours to be delivered to me, sn. I remember my first attempt at CTB and I can say that it was not very fun considering that I was lying on the rails and it was like it didn't matter to me that I was lying there . I lay on the rails and just looked at the stars and the moon and waited for the train that should have moved me within 2-3 minutes. Looking at the stars and the moon and listening to music sounds really romantic, but unfortunately my Si saved me in the last seconds. 5 seconds before the train was supposed to pass over me, I rolled over, although I didn't see or hear her because I was turned away from her and my music was playing. It was a busy May day for sure.And right now, this is finally my 2nd attempt and hopefully the last.I will drink sn Around midnight from Thursday to Friday, but it will need to be decided when to drink exactly.In general, what Sn And what pills will I take.


1)Meto mode 48 hours
(Cerukal tablets=metoclopramide)
2)Painkillers paracetamol 1000mg
4)Fasting 10 hours
5)And the drink sn 20g 50ml water


Day 1Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
23:00hrs 1000mg of paracetamol.
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs SN drink.


In general, something like this. I don't know what else to add, I just despaired as much as possible in this life, and besides STB, nothing will help, I tried everything, as I wrote above, but the results are zero. Perhaps my childhood influenced my depression, when I was 7 years old my father hung himself drunk and naked in the street in front of me.And believe me, this is not the best experience, but still the rope miraculously broke and he did not die.True, to this day he is already dead, he died of a heart attack when I was 12 years old. True, at the age of 9 I went to an orphanage because my parents drank a lot and could not provide for my brother and me.This is of course sad, but of course I will not be very upset, because finally it will all end soon. I'm sorry that it happened, but there's no other way. I lost my dreams, my plans for the future, I lost myself as a person. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in anything else, all I do all day long is get high and listen Lil peep. I don't even know until a year ago I was a cheerful person who had some principles. Now everything is different with everything. Well, actually it's not that important.The only thing I want to add is a big thank you to all those who supported me and answered my questions or just threads. I am very grateful to you all. I wish you all good luck with your future attempts Ctb.In general, I don't even know how to end it all, I will miss you guys, so see you on the other side guys and once again good luck to everyone.
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,961
It was a great pleasure to chat with you and to keep you company in the last days. I hope you are in peace now. See you on the other side my friend. Farewell!

Requiescat in pace.
 
cheese.out

cheese.out

Why am I still here
Jul 25, 2023
200
Wish you all the peace in the world and a safe journey. We are strangers rn but we will see us on the other side, my friend❤
 
LoiteringClouds

LoiteringClouds

Tempus fugit
Feb 7, 2023
3,691
@love_peep, finally you are gone.
I'm so sorry what you have endured,
But now your salvation was procured.
Your act of sheer self-love was done.

Now you are free from terrible pain.
Eternal peace is your final gain.
But why can't I stop crying,
While staring a knot I'm tying?

Your passing told me I'm still human -
Helpless one - so I'll do what I can.
I'll remember you with sheer pride,
Until see you on the other side.


I talked to @love_peep several times, so I'm so sad and feel guilty a bit, but I believe he is now in a better place.

Note: I mentioned about a knot above but I don't have a plan to hang myself in the near future.
 
venin

venin

Text
Jul 28, 2023
757
For moderators and administrators, if you see this message, then please deactivate this account next Saturday, that is, 7 days after the publication of the thread



Hello dear friends and just the inhabitants of the forum. I want to say that if you see this thread, it means that I still committed suicide. Unfortunately, it is a pity that I had to leave at such a young age, namely at the age of 19. While I was here on the forum, I met a lot of good people who are sincerely ready to help you or write to you with support.It is very cool that in these couple of months I have found so many friends here. Honestly, it feels like I'm already dead from the inside, today is August 1 at 12:12 pm. For quite a long time I tried to Fight my depression, for 5 months I suffered and very much, because every day I got worse and worse until I turned into a vegetable. I tried many different antidepressants and even took benzo, but there was zero sense, neither psychologists, nor pills, nor a mental hospital helped me at all in any way, and this is sad.'Cause I've lost everything, now everything has changed since the month of April , I became very insensitive and dull, at the moment I just sit and wait for 6 hours to be delivered to me, sn. I remember my first attempt at CTB and I can say that it was not very fun considering that I was lying on the rails and it was like it didn't matter to me that I was lying there . I lay on the rails and just looked at the stars and the moon and waited for the train that should have moved me within 2-3 minutes. Looking at the stars and the moon and listening to music sounds really romantic, but unfortunately my Si saved me in the last seconds. 5 seconds before the train was supposed to pass over me, I rolled over, although I didn't see or hear her because I was turned away from her and my music was playing. It was a busy May day for sure.And right now, this is finally my 2nd attempt and hopefully the last.I will drink sn Around midnight from Thursday to Friday, but it will need to be decided when to drink exactly.In general, what Sn And what pills will I take.


1)Meto mode 48 hours
(Cerukal tablets=metoclopramide)
2)Painkillers paracetamol 1000mg
4)Fasting 10 hours
5)And the drink sn 20g 50ml water


Day 1Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
23:00hrs 1000mg of paracetamol.
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs SN drink.


In general, something like this. I don't know what else to add, I just despaired as much as possible in this life, and besides STB, nothing will help, I tried everything, as I wrote above, but the results are zero. Perhaps my childhood influenced my depression, when I was 7 years old my father hung himself drunk and naked in the street in front of me.And believe me, this is not the best experience, but still the rope miraculously broke and he did not die.True, to this day he is already dead, he died of a heart attack when I was 12 years old. True, at the age of 9 I went to an orphanage because my parents drank a lot and could not provide for my brother and me.This is of course sad, but of course I will not be very upset, because finally it will all end soon. I'm sorry that it happened, but there's no other way. I lost my dreams, my plans for the future, I lost myself as a person. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in anything else, all I do all day long is get high and listen Lil peep. I don't even know until a year ago I was a cheerful person who had some principles. Now everything is different with everything. Well, actually it's not that important.The only thing I want to add is a big thank you to all those who supported me and answered my questions or just threads. I am very grateful to you all. I wish you all good luck with your future attempts Ctb.In general, I don't even know how to end it all, I will miss you guys, so see you on the other side guys and once again good luck to everyone.
Goodbye🫶🏼 sorry you had to go through all those painful and unfair things
 

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