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Demian

Demian

Member
Mar 25, 2024
77
I'd like to know from each of you, if you had Nembutal valid for 2030, would you take your life now or live a little longer?

If you were to stay here a while longer, would you do anything different, try the "right" way, go crazy or something else?

My dream is to get Nembutal, but I know it's practically impossible.
 
whiteclaudia

whiteclaudia

cute + well adjusted
Mar 23, 2024
41
i'd go to an aquarium with my friends - we were talking about it the other day. probably spend most of my time writing the perfect note and otherwise making myself as comfortable as possible. sleep around for the physical closeness more than anything. make lots of beautiful art and fill up my journal so that something survives me. i wouldn't linger long. maybe til my 26th birthday? that's when your brain is supposed to be fully developed, right? so just over two more years of trying to be relatively content. i think i could deal with my lows if i knew it was all ending soon. no need to feel unsafe and unloved when death - in my eyes - is the safest, most loving thing there is.

whoops, got all flowery. thank you for the food for thought.
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
569
Maybe try to find someone to make music with. I have over 90 songs written that I'm unable to record and it would be a shame if they just went to waste.
But if I couldn't find anybody, well... I'd drink it asap. Thought I had found a source on a DNM but it was very likely a scam.
 
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Demian

Demian

Member
Mar 25, 2024
77
Maybe try to find someone to make music with. I have over 90 songs written that I'm unable to record and it would be a shame if they just went to waste.
But if I couldn't find anybody, well... I'd drink it asap. Thought I had found a source on a DNM but it was very likely a scam.
Nice that you have so much music!

I hope you manage to record them and put them here on the site for us to listen to.
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
569
Nice that you have so much music!

I hope you manage to record them and put them here on the site for us to listen to.
Oh, that's really nice from you! How sweet. Actually I recorded a bunch of albums and EPs in my room, but due to my dyspraxia getting worse with age, I'm no longer able to play the guitar.
However, I posted a song of mine on the Share Your Art Megathread. Feel free to listen to it!

 
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Hated By All

Hated By All

Death will give me peace
Sep 21, 2022
413
I have to get rid of my saving, write a note and then I can drink it.
 
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Demian

Demian

Member
Mar 25, 2024
77
Oh, that's really nice from you! How sweet. Actually I recorded a bunch of albums and EPs in my room, but due to my dyspraxia getting worse with age, I'm no longer able to play the guitar.
However, I posted a song of mine on the Share Your Art Megathread. Feel free to listen to it!

I listened to it.

It's really good!!! Very melancholy, just the way I like it!

Cool
 
ChiefSeattle

ChiefSeattle

Member
Apr 3, 2024
25
I would be really open to discussing this! I'm fluent in Spanish but i don't want to travel there alone
Are you in UK ? Make sure you get to know someone a little before you consider this. It would take some planning and discussion first. I am not solvent due to unemployment because of my health issues so I need to get the money together for flights, hotel, Halatal.
I only joined this group last night so I am not sure how it works with open discussion and if we can PM ? I am 55 year old male. I will not be going to Peru with some young person that is fed up with life. This is serious, for mature people with serious, debilitating illness. I am not taking an innocent down with me -
 
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sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,458
I would be really open to discussing this! I'm fluent in Spanish but i don't want to travel there alone
Do you want to go there together? I don't know any Spanish apart from the Spanish I learned in elementary school though. I can speak like 2 phrases lol
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,623
I probably wait and hope for a wonder to happen (e.g. winning the lottery).

I'd probably take N if there was a short term trigger with some impulsiveness.
I would be really open to discussing this! I'm fluent in Spanish but i don't want to travel there alone
I'd like to travel but I'm too broke ;-;
 
letsgetittogo

letsgetittogo

Barbiturate Summer :p
Nov 11, 2023
199
Do you want to go there together? I don't know any Spanish apart from the Spanish I learned in elementary school though. I can speak like 2 phrases lol
I'm half German and half Mexican; raised in Mexico City, I'd for sure have it covered. I'm not sure if you're serious but I am LMAO, I've been gently asking around for people to go with me
 
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sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,458
I'm half German and half Mexican; raised in Mexico City, I'd for sure have it covered. I'm not sure if you're serious but I am LMAO, I've been gently asking around for people to go with me
I'm serious. How much does it cost to go there though? I don't think my parents would want to pay for it and I only have a few/several thousand dollars in my bank account…
 
letsgetittogo

letsgetittogo

Barbiturate Summer :p
Nov 11, 2023
199
I'm serious. How much does it cost to go there though? I don't think my parents would want to pay for it and I only have a few/several thousand dollars in my bank account….
Im flying out of JFK, so prices for me don't go over 380 - 410 if I booked for this summer. I'm assuming accommodations are also cheaper there, so it's actually a relatively cheap trip altogether

Do you have a passport?
 
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sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,458
Im flying out of JFK, so prices for me don't go over 380 - 410 if I booked for this summer. I'm assuming accommodations are also cheaper there, so it's actually a relatively cheap trip altogether

Do you have a passport?
Oh okay. Yeah I do
 
letsgetittogo

letsgetittogo

Barbiturate Summer :p
Nov 11, 2023
199
Oh okay. Yeah I do
For the most part I've offered to cover most expenses in the past :p I know a lot of people face financial barriers when they want to ctb. The money isn't an issue / doesn't matter to me so I mostly just want company. I don't really like to travel alone
 
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ChiefSeattle

ChiefSeattle

Member
Apr 3, 2024
25
I'm half German and half Mexican; raised in Mexico City, I'd for sure have it covered. I'm not sure if you're serious but I am LMAO, I've been gently asking around for people to go with me
How old are you and what illnesses do you have to make you want to do this. I need to find out a little about you first. This a very serious and I am not going there to party. This is a one way ticket and there is a risk of getting into trouble with Peruvian authorities -
 
sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,458
For the most part I've offered to cover most expenses in the past :p I know a lot of people face financial barriers when they want to ctb. The money isn't an issue / doesn't matter to me so I mostly just want company. I don't really like to travel alone
Yeah that would be great. By the way, are you planning on taking it there or back home?
 
letsgetittogo

letsgetittogo

Barbiturate Summer :p
Nov 11, 2023
199
How old are you and what illnesses do you have to make you want to do this. I need to find out a little about you first. This a very serious and I am not going there to party. This is a one way ticket and there is a risk of getting into trouble with Peruvian authorities -
Illnesses? I guess no physical ones. If you'd like to PM I could share my personal circumstances / reasons why I want to ctb.

I'm not going there to drink / party. I'd be okay with going to a park or something but my #1 purpose would be to acquire N.
Yeah that would be great. By the way, are you planning on taking it there or back home?
Either one works for me > it's obviously less risky to just take it there, but I also wouldn't really want to die in Peru. PREFERABLY I'd be at home, where i could drink / smoke and be relaxed.

I've met a few people on the forum who have brought N back from both Peru and Mexico, so it's definitely possible
 
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ChiefSeattle

ChiefSeattle

Member
Apr 3, 2024
25
i'd go to an aquarium with my friends - we were talking about it the other day. probably spend most of my time writing the perfect note and otherwise making myself as comfortable as possible. sleep around for the physical closeness more than anything. make lots of beautiful art and fill up my journal so that something survives me. i wouldn't linger long. maybe til my 26th birthday? that's when your brain is supposed to be fully developed, right? so just over two more years of trying to be relatively content. i think i could deal with my lows if i knew it was all ending soon. no need to feel unsafe and unloved when death - in my eyes - is the safest, most loving thing there is.

whoops, got all flowery. thank you for the food for thought.
I do it think a 25 year old should do this. What illness do you have to make you want to carry out this act. I do not mean to be preachy. It is because I am 55 with very serious health issues and I do not want to take an innocent down with me.

There is also the possibility of getting into trouble with local authorities. Everything must be considered.
 
letsgetittogo

letsgetittogo

Barbiturate Summer :p
Nov 11, 2023
199
I'm 23, and physically very healthy.

wouldn't say I'm an innocent, just have life circumstances that make me want to ctb
 
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