If you had an OFF button for your life, would you push it right now?

[venin.n]

If the corrupt NHS didn't hoax us all I wouldn't have been left to be my own F'n consultant. Left to rot. Somehow, I look at ending it and it does not interest me. I still have no purpose, no friends the only people who know I exist are clinicians. My Psychiatrist of 15yrs got ill and left. They replaced him with zilch. One med goes out of stock. Ignored. Had to buy online from my benefits. I sent in a complaint, before they replied they enforced harassment blocks - not allowed on hospital premises, no more than 1 call every 2 weeks. Sent the report to police too, all before I received the outcome of my complaint which went nowhere. All I did was lose my temper over the phone! After years of their mistakes. For a whole year I was left on dexamfetamine which turned me into a hateful animal. Now there's no Ritalin to move to so I'm still stuck on the dex. I have my dad, he's 74 in Jan. Ruined our relationship cos of my behaviour. I'm a rambling tongue tied wreck. Saw new consultant twice now, stopped buying the bupropion online and he put me on nortriptyline with I asked for, after persuading him with a fistful of referenced papers. 2nd appointment was Nov 27th, increased the dose. What happened the next day? Pharmacy called me to say bupropion was back in stock! How come I found out before him? I've ditched the nortriptyline and told the GP to resume my repeat script for bupropion. Computer says no! Useless, give me the script and pen. Ordered more bupropion again, been on it since 2007. The clinic I left a Yr ago holds all my records. Why? They have closed down! Because of them nobody can see my history, no records at all. I sent them an email saying I have contacted the Data Protection Act. I've been asking for my records for over 8 months. The law says they have 1 month to supply them upon request, in tare cases 3. Its been over 8. They know how ill I am cos they have my records. they're supposed to be mental illness experts, and yet they continued to ignore me. How have I avoided speed psychosis? Hell sure knows. All this with zero assistance. I'm adamant that there will be hell to pay for breaking every rule in psychiatry. Pandemic compliant a holes. Strange, I'm not even murderous. If I ever get back to working on myself I'll be dead from diabetes complications. When you're heads a mess, everything else comes second. I'm now physically ill cause of missing insulin injections. The stress has done my memory in. I live in a tip, can't keep on top of the chores. Every time I have called outside help, they always ask "do you have a care plane?"
Care plan? What care plan? All the charities can't deal with complex 'clients '. I confuse all doctors cos they don't understand my language - I'm only repeating what I know from hundreds of thousands of hrs of research. Not for any degree or licence, just to find things that might help. theres plenty that will help but its always no no no. Uneducated indoctranated Clowns.

I'm so sorry the system failed you so bad

 

[Some place nice]

Yes.

 

[venin.n]

I think I would. I thought I was doing fine but time just keeps ticking away and now Im zoning out. I dont think little ol' me can run my errands for today

That makes us two

 

[SMmetalhead36]

Sure would, and very fast.

 

[NoHorizon]

100% yes.

 

[Seered Doom]

I would be spamming and button mashing it

 

[venin.n]

100% yes.

My nigga

I would be spamming and button mashing it

I would jump with my ass on it

 

[NoHorizon]

I would be spamming and button mashing it

Fastest QTE success ever.

 

[Seered Doom]

It's speedrunning

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Without question

 

[SenseOfLoss]

Yep, for sure…

 

[brokeandbroken]

Yes nothing left me for to do but end it myself anyways. There's no hope. Nothing. I've been abandon and left for dead.

There's some serious debate if I've ever even been loved by anyone. Literally I've begged people for help and no one cared... I don't think God even cares about me.

 

[princejohnny]

Yup. I'd be first in line at the suicide booth from Futurama too. Unfortunately, they only exist in science fiction.

 

[venin.n]

Yes nothing left me for to do but end it myself anyways. There's no hope. Nothing. I've been abandon and left for dead.

There's some serious debate if I've ever even been loved by anyone. Literally I've begged people for help and no one cared... I don't think God even cares about me.

(I don't think he even exists)

Sorry to hear that. I know how that feels…

Yup. I'd be first in line at the suicide booth from Futurama too. Unfortunately, they only exist in science fiction.

Is futurama good? I've wanted to watch it for some time now

 

[brokeandbroken]

(I don't think he even exists)

Sorry to hear that. I know how that feels…

Unfortunately, the evidence is overwhelming in the direction that he exists. That said I don't believe he loves or cares about me. God abandoned me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

probably..

when asking myself, why not do it right now.......i dont have an answer....
i dont have family, i dont have friends. basically everything ive had has been nothing but abuse (loved telling my 'ex' husband about the r*pe nightmares he gives me this morning). the one thing in this life that i did have thinks im nothing but bad luck.... im 24, my ex and i joke that im in my 80s due to my near constant pain. i literally have the "worst mental diagnosis in the world" (literally bpd everywhere when googled), the "most deadliest mental health disorder" (anorexia, again not my words, literally googled it). and that doesnt even go into the side problems it causes, like bpd is neurodivergent, chronically suicidal, hallucinations. ana, im literally hungry/full like 24/7. i can only eat a couple bites at a time before getting full.

"oh but youll miss out on pizza!!!!"
if your life is that basic, then good for you, but not everyones is, and its honestly extremely hurtful when people use such meaningless bs to make up for being healthy and loved.


i literally dont see why i shouldnt click the button...... but for some reason i think id just let out a big sign and put it down....


i want to click the button so fucking bad...

 

[gbi2]

If the corrupt NHS didn't hoax us all I wouldn't have been left to be my own F'n consultant. Left to rot. Somehow, I look at ending it and it does not interest me. I still have no purpose, no friends the only people who know I exist are clinicians. My Psychiatrist of 15yrs got ill and left. They replaced him with zilch. One med goes out of stock. Ignored. Had to buy online from my benefits. I sent in a complaint, before they replied they enforced harassment blocks - not allowed on hospital premises, no more than 1 call every 2 weeks. Sent the report to police too, all before I received the outcome of my complaint which went nowhere. All I did was lose my temper over the phone! After years of their mistakes. For a whole year I was left on dexamfetamine which turned me into a hateful animal. Now there's no Ritalin to move to so I'm still stuck on the dex. I have my dad, he's 74 in Jan. Ruined our relationship cos of my behaviour. I'm a rambling tongue tied wreck. Saw new consultant twice now, stopped buying the bupropion online and he put me on nortriptyline with I asked for, after persuading him with a fistful of referenced papers. 2nd appointment was Nov 27th, increased the dose. What happened the next day? Pharmacy called me to say bupropion was back in stock! How come I found out before him? I've ditched the nortriptyline and told the GP to resume my repeat script for bupropion. Computer says no! Useless, give me the script and pen. Ordered more bupropion again, been on it since 2007. The clinic I left a Yr ago holds all my records. Why? They have closed down! Because of them nobody can see my history, no records at all. I sent them an email saying I have contacted the Data Protection Act. I've been asking for my records for over 8 months. The law says they have 1 month to supply them upon request, in tare cases 3. Its been over 8. They know how ill I am cos they have my records. they're supposed to be mental illness experts, and yet they continued to ignore me. How have I avoided speed psychosis? Hell sure knows. All this with zero assistance. I'm adamant that there will be hell to pay for breaking every rule in psychiatry. Pandemic compliant a holes. Strange, I'm not even murderous. If I ever get back to working on myself I'll be dead from diabetes complications. When you're heads a mess, everything else comes second. I'm now physically ill cause of missing insulin injections. The stress has done my memory in. I live in a tip, can't keep on top of the chores. Every time I have called outside help, they always ask "do you have a care plane?"
Care plan? What care plan? All the charities can't deal with complex 'clients '. I confuse all doctors cos they don't understand my language - I'm only repeating what I know from hundreds of thousands of hrs of research. Not for any degree or licence, just to find things that might help. theres plenty that will help but its always no no no. Uneducated indoctranated Clowns.

Crikey, I though they'd failed me badly enough. I even worked there and could see how the NHS is failing quite easily,. People just seem to be indifferent to the failings and sticking with protocol regardless. It has been said somewhere that the 'business as usual' attitude is what is causing it to fail and I agree. too many peopel are just working to a strict routine even though it fails. There is no sense of urgency from non-clinical staff and when they fail to support clinical staff they blame the clinical staff. Something like "you should have told us" instead of taking accountability and saying "we should have got it right in the first place".

So sorry it has been this bad for you. There probably isn't anything that can be a consolation for it, but even some Doctors are crying out at the failings and how avoidable they are. There seems to be too few speaking up though and too many staff in 'the club' who are primarily there for their own career, trying to get to grade 5 or 6 as fast as they can, and the healthcare is secondary to them.

The NHS even put out an email/posting informing staff how to spot signs that colleagues are suicidal!

 

[stillvoices]

Without hesitation

 

[Hunter2005]

Absolutely

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I would be mthrfkn' slamming it..

100% yes

 

[venin.n]

100% yes

Innit'?

Absolutely

 

[Cress]

At some point I would. Hitting it right now at the time of This post? Probably not

 

[NoHorizon]

Yup. I'd be first in line at the suicide booth from Futurama too. Unfortunately, they only exist in science fiction.

Quick and painless, or slow and horrible?

 

[venin.n]

Quick and painless, or slow and horrible?

In an instant!

 

[neverwashere]

tbh, I'm not even sure. I'd probably put it off to the side or something.
Does "off" = death? or do you just stop existing?

bc on one hand, IM DONE I WANT OUT I WOULD SLAM THAT SHIT SO FAST
but on the other hand, I feel like I need to suffer to deserve dying-- actually dying, not just blinking out of existence. Meaning my death either has to be painful or I need to reaaallllyy drag it out before I hit the button

 

[bessops1976]

Such an easy question to answer with a resounding 'hell yes'

 

[venin.n]

tbh, I'm not even sure. I'd probably put it off to the side or something.
Does "off" = death? or do you just stop existing?

bc on one hand, IM DONE I WANT OUT I WOULD SLAM THAT SHIT SO FAST
but on the other hand, I feel like I need to suffer to deserve dying-- actually dying, not just blinking out of existence. Meaning my death either has to be painful or I need to reaaallllyy drag it out before I hit the button

I somehow also feel that I need to suffer.

But I'd still slam it

Such an easy question to answer with a resounding 'hell yes'

 

[Ksmиda]

Not yet, there are still things I want to experience

 

[RadionizedWB]

Technically there is one and its called "a trigger" but yeah anyway. If I had that button, I'd press the shit out of it.

 

[Nx7]

Yep. I would do it