if you had a magic red button to instantly kill yourself, would you have pressed it by now?

[Johnzaga23]

I like to think that I would, but to be honest, CBT is not even that hard, but i havent done it yet. We are overcomplicating it. It's just a pull of a trigger or a kick in a chair. Not much different than the push of a button.

 

[headphones]

Yes

 

[Yonlux]

 

[KillingPain267]

Absolutely. I was so pissed of last night when I found out a chloroquine overdose won't be reliable that I punched myself in the head. I'd do it right now, in a heartbeat. Gone, just let me go print my will.

Why is it not reliable? It's mentioned in the PPH and is only a little less reliable than SN.

 

[BeijaFlor]

that's abit of a tricky question, since CTB is a very loose term, so...

i guess it depends, im assuming the "magic" part is related to not feeling any stress, pain or anxiety and that it would be instant?

if so, then yeah, absolutely

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Why is it not reliable? It's mentioned in the PPH and is only a little less reliable than SN.

Someone here on SaSu posted the links to a few papers on my diary/protocol thread and they're very worrying.

Blood concentrations are better predictors of chioroquine poisoning severity than plasma concentrations: a prospective study with modeling of the concentration/effect relationships - PubMed

Immediate and serial measurements of blood chloroquine concentrations are better than plasma for predicting cardiovascular severity of chloroquine poisonings.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

This study found that 7 out of 44 patients died.

Treatment of acute chloroquine poisoning: a 5-year experience - PubMed

<p>The mortality rate in patients with acute chloroquine poisoning, including those patients sick enough to be referred to a specialty unit such as ours, can be limited to < or = 10%. This finding appears to be true even in patients with massive ingestions. We were not able to correlate...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

10/11 survivors in this one.

I find it really baffling too because it's on the PPH and other literature, but the publications are really worrying and those odds are incredibly grim. Well, grim for us hopeful bus passengers. Were you considering chloroquine as well?

 

[deadbidaylight]

No, I wouldn't. There have been many times in my life that I would've said yes, without hesitation. But growing through the pain has gotten me here, and I wouldn't.

Doesn't mean I won't change my mind tomorrow. But today, no.

 

[Pluto]

 

[steveholt]

Id of pressed it more times than trying to find the magic clit button..

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Maybe. Probably. I think I'm about finished with what I feel I need to do for others, but not quite yet.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I like to think that I would, but to be honest, CBT is not even that hard, but i havent done it yet. We are overcomplicating it. It's just a pull of a trigger or a kick in a chair. Not much different than the push of a button.

i timed myself . took me 30 seconds to pick up my loaded shotgun , turn off safety , aim it at my head/brain/brain stem and slowly pull the trigger .

ok it wasn't loaded dry fired . but if it were loaded it would take me 30 seconds to kill myself

even if it took 60 seconds a minute . i figure i get a good 8 hours of a little clarity in the morning after i wake up . so every day for the last 3 years i missed 500 opportunities to kill myself solve all my problems forever. every single day 500 opportunities wasted . 500 x 365 days = 182,500 opportunities per year wasted , x 3 .....

for me its all mental.

the will to act is everything. to take massive action to accomplish your goal is the only thing that matters

 

[anonymousperson]

OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!! My issue is the fear of pain/suffering/survival instinct kicking in and stopping me. If I was promised to die in an instant without pain I would. That is what I long for!

 

[KillingPain267]

Treatment of acute chloroquine poisoning: a 5-year experience - PubMed

<p>The mortality rate in patients with acute chloroquine poisoning, including those patients sick enough to be referred to a specialty unit such as ours, can be limited to < or = 10%. This finding appears to be true even in patients with massive ingestions. We were not able to correlate...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

10/11 survivors in this one.

But these were "patients..." "...admitted to..." their "...toxicology ICU."

Wouldn't most have died if they were undisturbed?

Were you considering chloroquine as well?

Yes, that or Amitriptyline. I guess it'll be SN instead, but that too has many scary reports of survivors.

 

[ellipse]

Yes, many years ago.

 

[us_1999]

This is also the question I ask myself almost everyday...

 

[WhenIBreathe]

Yes definitely, no hesitation

 

[wishingiwasok]

I would have done it years ago when impulsiveness outweighed my fear of pain and disfigurement.

 

[Michelstaedter]

About 17 years ago, I thought about this; probably romantic rejection or low self-esteem were the cause of imagining a "magic switch" that would put an end to it, and therefore to my life. About 9 years ago, I remember thinking about it again. Even while lying in bed, I thought, "I wish I could just push a button and end it all." I even looked for information about it! I thought it was symbolic or something interpretive. I found a post by a guy who thought exactly the same thing, talking about his job, his lack of friends, his tiredness of life, his lack of relationships, living only with his mother and feeling alone.
Today, looking at this post, it reminds me that my experience isn't a passing sadness, it's not a "everything will be better" or a "with professional help you'll be fine" situation. This has been my life for a long time, and that button is my longing...

 

[Michi_Violeta]

But these were "patients..." "...admitted to..." their "...toxicology ICU."

Wouldn't most have died if they were undisturbed?

Yes, that or Amitriptyline. I guess it'll be SN instead, but that too has many scary reports of survivors.

Huh, we're on a similar boat then. Those were my two initially planned methods based on the PPH, but I guess your reasoning is valid: it's actually good they survived if they were taken to the ICU, but in our case it would probably be different since we'd be deeply sedated and left alone for at least some 8-10 hours. Still, it makes you slightly uneasy, brings a bit of fear and insecurity to the mix.

 

[KillingPain267]

Huh, we're on a similar boat then. Those were my two initially planned methods based on the PPH, but I guess your reasoning is valid: it's actually good they survived if they were taken to the ICU, but in our case it would probably be different since we'd be deeply sedated and left alone for at least some 8-10 hours. Still, it makes you slightly uneasy, brings a bit of fear and insecurity to the mix.

My point was that those studies are about patients who overdosed on those meds. I think the survival rates are due to them being patients who received emergency treatment. With this method we should be absolutely alone for even 12-24 hours. But that is also true for SN. But where the PPH got their data about reliability of Ami or Chloro, I don't know. For me, I like the cardiac methods because of accessibility and they allow for alcohol. That's because alcohol makes me feel so relaxed and content in low amounts, so falling asleep on that would be so peaceful. The SN method has considerable discomfort for up to 1 hour and it sounds unappealing. But the little lower reliability of Ami or Chloro worries me. I also worry about what damage I would have if I survive Ami or Chloro, but I've read scary things about SN too. So I feel hopeless about methods; they don't give me much calm to think about. My dream method would be a few shots of scotch and an intra-oral revolver shot, but I live in Europe so scotch is illegal here. Just kidding, it's the guns that are illegal.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

My point was that those studies are about patients who overdosed on those meds. I think the survival rates are due to them being patients who received emergency treatment. With this method we should be absolutely alone for even 12-24 hours. But that is also true for SN. But where the PPH got their data about reliability of Ami or Chloro, I don't know. For me, I like the cardiac methods because of accessibility and they allow for alcohol. That's because alcohol makes me feel so relaxed and content in low amounts, so falling asleep on that would be so peaceful. The SN method has considerable discomfort for up to 1 hour and it sounds unappealing. But the little lower reliability of Ami or Chloro worries me. I also worry about what damage I would have if I survive Ami or Chloro, but I've read scary things about SN too. So I feel hopeless about methods; they don't give me much calm to think about. My dream method would be a few shots of scotch and an intra-oral revolver shot, but I live in Europe so scotch is illegal here. Just kidding, it's the guns that are illegal.

Well, like I said, same boat. I'm unsure about all three methods, but I would've preferred ami or chloro because of their availability (got enough chloro to off my ass stored right next to me). From what I've seen, SN has a much higher/better recovery in case you survive, but yeah, not much info on ami/chloro. Would you mind me sending you a PM later on to see if we can exchange information? I'm not in Europe, but guns are illegal here too (although scotch is perfectly legal ) so I'm stuck with either these two or SN.

 

[Soontocatch]

Would have pressed it without any hesitation

 

[Shadow_]

Sure as God's got got sandals I would have been dead 15 years ago as a teen, and nothing has changed in my 30s.

 

[KillingPain267]

Well, like I said, same boat. I'm unsure about all three methods, but I would've preferred ami or chloro because of their availability (got enough chloro to off my ass stored right next to me). From what I've seen, SN has a much higher/better recovery in case you survive, but yeah, not much info on ami/chloro. Would you mind me sending you a PM later on to see if we can exchange information? I'm not in Europe, but guns are illegal here too (although scotch is perfectly legal ) so I'm stuck with either these two or SN.

Sure, send me a PM. I'd like to hear how you got chloro

 

[overcastdays]

I'd press it even if it caused me indescribable amounts of pain. As long as I know for a fact that it would kill me within the next hour or so, I would. I'd get a few things in order maybe, but I'd do it, without question.

 

[ididnotconsent]

I don't know, but i would derive immense satisfaction from knowing i could peacefully end it whenever i want. Kinda like having some N on hand,

 

[underduvet]

Every night, when I lay in bed, I drown in thoughts, permutations, possibilities, scenarios, fantasies... I don't want to think all that, I hate it. I imagine impulsively blowing my brains out at that very moment... it's all fantasy though and I haven't really considered the SI. But a big button seems really clean, efficient... maybe not as glorious though. I do wonder what the autopsy would conclude.

 

[BlockHammer]

Of course YES

 

[GuppyBoyo]

i think the answer is obvious here

 

[sanctioman]

Yes indeed