I hear you whole heartedly, I also feel that when I CTB my family will think I abandoned them instead of continuing to fight alongside them. What I've realized tho is that no matter what you feel, they will come up with there own reasons as to why you chose this route. No matter what the note says, everyone will think differently as to the route we take. If you say nobody is to blame, they will think you were lying and either blame themselves or put the blame on another. Biggest realization is there is no avoiding it. The best we can do is apologize for our actions, that way they can blame us for our own misfortunes instead of each other. In my eyes, that's the best case scenario when it comes to who gets blamed and feelings of regret. For me, I will only apologize for leaving my mom as she's the only reason I stuck around for as long as I did. Everyone else can come up with their own reasons as to why I chose this route as long as they don't blame my mom. In reality, those who brought you pain, whether it be friends or family, will know it's their fault. No if, ands, or buts about it.