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Bot

Bot

bpd is ruining my life
Aug 8, 2021
70
depression really ruins everything but tried my best to enjoy life i think, what about you?
 
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D

Deepjoy

Member
Aug 19, 2021
24
Done my best and to be honest I've had some great times but the feeling of wanting to ctb….,is overwhelming to everything else .
My ex has got wind of my desire to ctb,think I forgot to delete or move an email,now threatening to put me in the local institution. Life sucks
 
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Nevn

Nevn

Member
Dec 23, 2020
11
No honestly, if I was to die right now I'd not be able to say that. I lived for everyone else, so I don't think I've really learned how to live in the first place and I'm just tired now.
 
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WaaaghEnjoyer

WaaaghEnjoyer

destroy the status quo
Aug 15, 2021
69
I played some good videogames and read good books so yes. However dying means I'd forget that, and everything else that ever happened, so it doesn't really matter after all. It's as if nothing is real and everyone is dead already.
 
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mustard_glass

mustard_glass

Member
Aug 10, 2021
25
I've spent most of my life coping with games, music, TV and alcohol. I wouldn't exactly call that "living" but still - I wouldn't change a thing. It's all worthless in the end. I don't think that being serious about life and "trying" to do anything else would make my existence any better.
No regrets.
 
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TriggerHappy

TriggerHappy

In the kingdom of th blind; the one-eyed are kings
Jan 24, 2021
1,297
I stopped enjoying life about 7 years ago :: my moms death has left me untethered. She knew I'd never find sobriety, and I have many regrets.
Music gets me through, so does the 12step shit drummed into my resistant brain. That keeps me alive, just for today, just this nanosecond.
Relationships are arbitrary, sex is a commodity, love is destructive (I would hate to have my yuk stuff all over sum1 else, emotionally speaking). I'm sober but a rebellious handfull.
All my life I've know I'd take my own life, didn't think I'd last this long... not planning to be here beyond new year.
So I have a few months to undo my ctb distraction plan if I plan to live. I don't.
 
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WatermelonMel

WatermelonMel

Melon Master
Aug 19, 2019
408
More like, suffered to the fullest
 
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FailureGirl

FailureGirl

lost in limbo...
Jul 5, 2021
133
Yes I tried my best and now it's time to go.
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
I had a good life until 2-3 years ago.
Now it is hell.

And there seems to be no way out ...
 
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B

Bruces

Specialist
May 11, 2020
389
No it's been an unmitigated disaster
 
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StevieNixs

StevieNixs

Specialist
Jul 22, 2021
316
depression really ruins everything but tried my best to enjoy life i think, what about you?
In terms of travelling yes. I've been to just about everywhere I have ever wanted to travel to and some places I travelled to and ended up hating like Egypt, Mexico, Singapore and Tunisia. I have good memories about Alaska and other parts of the USA, Canada, Mauritius, New Zealand not Uganda (the people in a few of the villages there could not believe that I as a woman could drive), Rwanda, South Africa, Venezuela, Colombia, Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala. St Helena island (trip of a lifetime for me), Antigua, Cuba, South of Spain and places like Madrid, Italy, South of France, Hungary (disliked it), the Maldives. probably other places i cannot recall, But I travelled to escape my misery, I escaped it - until I returned home and was miserable again. I have lived my best life in terms of travel - but nothing else really. I am glad I travelled and realised the world that exists outside of my own country. The one thing I have taken away from travel to developing countries is that so many people are living in really reduced circumstances with so many personal losses - and they do not seem to be as unhappy as me. .. that leaves me feeling pretty guilty.

But now - if someone offered me a free trip to anywhere I wanted to go, I would decline as I just want to exit. My present saying to myself is that Life is for the Lucky...
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
Hell no!! I don't think another like me exists. I've wasted all the best years, every opportunity I've ever had, have flushed everything it was possible to flush down the toilet!!!
And now I'm too old and too lazy and too hurt to try anything.
Let's hope no one's gonna judge me in afterlife :))
 
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watereyes

watereyes

les malheurs de lizzie
Mar 27, 2020
738
yeah got smashed and high which is cool. but yea i havent played the morin khuur yet so i guess i havent lived my life to the fullest
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
In my opinion, life is ultra boring so it's impossible for me to have lived life to the fullest.
 
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trewer

trewer

Member
Aug 4, 2021
23
Well I always did my best with what I know at the moment.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,801
Hell no, I ran away from everything that could have made my life fulfilling.
 
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OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
Very average. Lot's of missed opportunities. Not fulfilled, just a boring cycle of things that don't work.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,621
No
 
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W

WillSterben

Give me liberty or Give Me Death
Jul 6, 2021
18
No! So many things to explore in this world, but sadly, no money = no freedom :/
 
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littlelungs

littlelungs

Wizard
Oct 21, 2018
646
Not at all. I tried until I genuinely couldn't anymore, but really, I never stood a chance.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,341
No. I haven't lived at all, I just exist. I have been dead for a long time really. For years on end, all I have been doing is looking forward to sleep. The only life experiences I have had have been miserable ones. My life is devoid of any enjoyment and it is an constant struggle. On my last day, I will be glad to be free of all the thoughts and I will be glad that I finally will get the peace that I deserve.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,729
No, but I'm honestly not even sure what "living life to the fullest" even means anymore. By any standard I set for myself in the past, it's a big fat no. Any career potential I had has been wasted. I gave up on love before I truly even tried. If I had met those standards and kept them, I would fail utterly at the basic hedonism of enjoying life because my perspective was so goal-oriented and entailed endless hard work.

The only solace I have is to remember that I don't think anybody really does live their life to the fullest, especially those who pretend they have.
 
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The Lonely

The Lonely

Arcanist
Jan 26, 2021
406
Surviving defines.
My life was pretty much based on me trying to defend myself from the next "thing"…

I am already old and didn't lived at all…
 
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nopointofliving

nopointofliving

Warrior
Apr 19, 2021
513
I'd probably say I tried my best, it didn't work and it's fine. Life wasn't fair to me and it's ok
 
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Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
Fuck no. Of course not.
 
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CatTheBus5689

CatTheBus5689

Member
Jun 22, 2021
76
I did my best.

That's all anyone can ever give.
 
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meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
No, I was always hampered by the need to control my thinking. This prevented me from living life to the fullest. This got better over the years but I will always have to live with the fact that I didn't have a normal childhood.
 
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Marktheghost

Marktheghost

Paragon
Feb 20, 2020
911
No way! I have the potential to do FAR FAR more. Unfulfilled potential is a major reason why I want to die!
 
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Reactions: natali4, BeautifulMosaics and FailureGirl
L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,665
My life has been good - but depression ruins everything. I don't have anything I want to see or do. I just want it finished.
 
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