If someone found out that you were using this forum, what would you do? What would they do?

[Yuki K]

Would you deny it? Hide it? Tell them the truth?

 

[TAW122]

Well I would avoid having that happen to begin with. But to answer the question, I would deny it and do better to hide it. If it came down to that, then somewhere I fucked up and didn't do well enough to hide my presence/activity on here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Reckon I'd tell the truth and say it's a personal feeling I have that everyone should have the right of bodily autonomy. That it's nothing personal against them or their company- just that I don't find life worthwhile- in fact- it has always been really difficult. I've just hung on for the sake of others.

Plus- that this site isn't some death cult. It is full of very sympathetic and intelligent people who are willing to talk about difficult subjects.

I have this possibly naive idea that I can rationalise it to anyone because it seems perfectly rational to me- life is TOO difficult and I'm simply tired of fighting.

Still- I would however fib and say that I hadn't made a concrete plan or anything- so as not to spook them too much.

 

[hungry_ghost]

Someone like who?

I don't know anyone other than my relatives, and two of them already know I'm suicidal but don't care.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I don't go around announcing it to everyone, but a couple people do know I come here sometimes. I've talked about suicide, death, right to die, and related topics with both of them before, so it's not a surprise. And I've been very clear about not having any concrete plans to off myself right now, so they're not worried about it.

I agree with @Forever Sleep, I don't think visiting here should be something to be ashamed of. There's a ton of very good people here. We just talk about things that aren't very popular in more mainstream places.

 

[FuneralCry]

The best answer to this would be to hide it and try to deny it. Unfortunately we exist in a world where people cannot be open about anything related to suicide without all of the stigma, and there are so many who refuse to accept the right to die. Having people know that one is suicidal/has plans to die could simply never be beneficial, in fact it would likely just make things worse.

 

[ikadasui]

It'd be all over. There's only one person who knows my views on life and I extended an invitation for him to the site as I think he'd enjoy the conversations here. But if anyone in my circle elsewhere found out I'd be scared and ashamed I let that slip and I'd fear the incoming alienation that would soon be to follow

 

[SexyIncél]

I'd just lie to those who'd possibly become inconvenient to me

But most know. They're chill because I know what I'm doing, and there's more interesting things to think about. When I was days away from ctb, I discovered which were prolifers and they're no longer close

 

[kindalone]

My sister knows I have suicidal ideation but thinks it's not that serious. This forum might change that and she'll call somebody. In that case, I might let myself get hospitalized. It will keep her mind at ease.
My mom would probably start some sort exorcism ritual or some stupid shit.
My dad would do nothing. He's not at all involved in anything I do and would just let my mom handle it like always.

 

[irie]

this is something i've been terrified of since i joined honestly, it feels as though the consequences would be heavy if anyone i'm typically around found me here

 

[missingpeace]

They would probably get pissed off and tell me I'm mad. I don't know how they will stop me from it though. I would just pretend I'm not on it anymore.

 

[stermc]

Some people know, such as my mom and my sister, and they support me, so they don't really care that much (probably because suicide is something we talk a lot about due to my suicidal ideation as a young kid to these days).

 

[Yuki K]

this is something i've been terrified of since i joined honestly, it feels as though the consequences would be heavy if anyone i'm typically around found me here

I have the same fears. My friends and family would be disappointed in me if find out about this online forum. So I'd probably lie and tell them that I used this site as I was writing a story about a suicidal guy and wanted to know more deeply about suicidal minds. I guess that's a believable enough excuse

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

i'd tell the truth. it wouldnt be surprising to them. they wouldnt do anything, i dont think. i'd be worried that they'd find my specific account and look through my posts tho and get upset, especially posts where i talk about them. it might cause problems if that happened. if my account were discovered i'd abandon it and make an alt

 

[devoutweiss]

It depends on the person. My boyfriend loves me but I can't see his reaction being very strong to this, whereas my family would freak. There would be arguments over where I should live, who I should live with, who's fault it is etc.

 

[Seven Threads]

I'm actually in a somewhat interesting position when it comes to this. I already have someone who knows I am here on the site, my partner/significant other of nine years. She has some misgivings, but even though she's far from comfortable with me being here, she knows I'm not suicidal, and never have been. I came here to commiserate with and try to be supportive of people who have suffered some of the same traumas and mental health conditions as I have, and much worse besides. Because I'm not seeking a way out, she trusts me when I tell her she has no reason to worry.

She still has misgivings though, like I said. For starters, even though I've never been suicidal, I have been severely depressed for most of my life, and remain so. It wouldn't be a terribly large leap for me to cross over into SI, especially when exposed to the kinds of emotions and human suffering one would expect to see in a place like this. We both understand that, and she is understandably wary of it.

But there's also my family to consider, my mom and my brother. They do not know I'm here, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with telling them. For one thing, they don't trust me the same way my partner does. This is at least partly my own fault: I've never been open with anyone the same way I've been with my partner. I've always been the type to close myself off, so they don't really have a window into my inner world and how I feel. Moreover, they know how severely depressed I've been for most of my life, and even though I've never been suicidal, they don't know that. Nor do I think they would really believe it if I tried to tell them. At the very least, I know that me potentially being suicidal is a concern of theirs, and that seeing me active on this site would most likely add fuel to that suspicion. And I honestly have no idea where they'd stand on the ethical ramifications of me being here, because I don't know (and haven't asked about) either of their views on issues such as right to die.

Needless to say, if anyone in my family caught me on here or knew I was active, it'd be an...awkward conversation. I'd like to think I'd stand my ground, though, and be honest about my intentions. I wouldn't have come in the first place if I wasn't willing to own up to it in the event push comes to shove.

 

[Dead Ghost]

Buf!, I guess I would end up trying to take steps towards the CTB when I couldn't stand the situation... I don't know, I should find myself there.
//
Buf!, suposo que acabaría intentant fer pasos cap al CTB al no poder soportar la situació.. no ho se pas, m'hi hauría de trobar.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Tell them I saw someone else using the site and now I'm super concerned.

 

[Yuki K]

Tell them I saw someone else using the site and now I'm super concerned.

Ohh that's a good reason/excuse

 

[Sparr0w]

fuck man idk, if they knew the site bc they were using it as well i guess thatd be funny, but otherwise?
...eh, i guess i'd give a half truth and say that it's helped me, that i'm not gonna stop using it but that i'd tell them when i was feeling down from now on.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Ohh that's a good reason/excuse

Lol, right? I doubt anyone who knows me would buy it though

 

[Yuki K]

Lol, right? I doubt anyone who knows me would buy it though

Hmm but I'm gonna use that if I ever get found out which I highly doubt I will but thanks anyways

 

[haikuu.]

Hmm. tbh Im not sure probably just lie about it I guess..

 

[downndone2]

I'm sure they'd insist on going to psych ward or call crisis line

I'd probably grab my gun

 

[SilentSadness]

I would probably try to deny it, of course they would never choose to understand so there's no benefit to them knowing.

 

[targz]

"Haha I was just going through a dark time, but I'm past that now"
or
"It's just got a weird name, it's not actually related to suicide"
or
"I have taken an interest in psychology and this is an interesting way to interact with and learn about a specific group of people. Here are my findings: ..."
or
"SS? Oh that stands for Salty Seabird, it's a forum about boating, marine history and pirate roleplay"

depending on what they know.

i'd tell the truth. it wouldnt be surprising to them. they wouldnt do anything, i dont think. i'd be worried that they'd find my specific account and look through my posts tho and get upset, especially posts where i talk about them. it might cause problems if that happened. if my account were discovered i'd abandon it and make an alt

Do you reckon there's any chance that someone could identify you through your username or pfp, or is it just your post history that hints at who you are?

 

[Scacie]

I guess I would probably be placed under psychiatric hold. If they see the site's full name I guess I can't really hide it. Maybe it depends on where exactly they saw it. If they see me just browsing I can probably spin something about passive suicide ideation. If they saw me viewing my own post about finally having all the CTB meds coming.....well
It gotta depend on who tho. I was at the bank few days ago, to transfer some money to buy CTB materials, and the person helping me saw the app lol. Stupid me for not hiding it. Anyways, he didnt say anything, definitely made our subsequent conversations awkward for me.

 

[toro]

my mum would be distraught lol, id feel awful idk she'd probably take away my access to internet whatsoever :(

 

[m1v]

Probably lie my way through it. I'll say I'm doing an in-deep research about suicide. My sister just burst into my room yesterday without knocking while I had the site open, i freaked the hell out, she's not the type to get involved in other people's business though. I should be more careful, but again it's not like it matters, we'll be gone soon. It'll be very cool if they could read and consider the amazing opinions/ideas of the people here. Some of them are really thought-provoking and truly brilliant.

 

[MoonlitNight]

Would you deny it? Hide it? Tell them the truth?

There would be no point doing any of these things. According to my culture
I would be made fun of and people would talk behind my back of being 'mad'