If only we had known

[WaitingAllMyLife]

Whenever you hear about someone CTB you hear their friends and loves ones saying how they had no idea that person was struggling and if they had only know they could have helped.

But my depression rages so strong sometimes I post about it on FB or express it to people I know and I'm either told to pull myself up by my bootstraps or that no one really wants to hear the truth when they ask how you are, they don't REALLY care. I have had so-called friends get exasperated with me being so negative again.

Well no freaking wonder you had no idea. When people express their pain, others turn away from it. And it compounds the feeling of loneliness, hopelessness, isolation and lack of purpose. Sometimes all it takes is a hug (virtual or real) or an "I'm so sorry you're struggling and in pain" to touch someone and help them through.

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

You are so right about people not really wanting to know. Back before my first attempt, I tried to tell me ex husband and my best friend and both of them blew it off. My ex took it as me being depressed about my weight issue and didn't really pay attention to what I was saying and the friend told me she had "too much on her plate" to really listen to me... And as I became more negative and down, others turned away just like you said...
And I believe some of the ones who say they had no idea did have an idea, and they will never admit that because then they would have to answer the why didn't they help question.... just a thought.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I don't really want to tell people… There's nothing anybody can do anyway

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people are very selfish and only care about what directly affects themselves. That is simply just the way that people are. I think that it's best not to open up about our suffering to others as of course people cannot really understand and they could just say the wrong thing and make everything worse. Talking about wanting to die could never make me feel better anyway

 

[LowLevelChimp]

I have found that few people are interested in my suicidal thoughts, so I gave up telling anyone, the aren't particularly interested in my general health either, which is deteriorating quickly. I feel people are just concerned with their own situation, especially now as everyone is struggling with the cost of living etc.

I keep it to myself these days and I'm collecting the material one piece at a time. I will be gone before the end of the year, with luck.

 

[hamvil]

Very few people (according to my experience) are willing to really put the effort that is needed in understanding another person. Most people want an easy life and easy exchanges with friends. Discussion politics or religions, still ok most of the times. They can get passionate on those topics. Touch the topic of depression or suicide and it becomes too much for most people.

A person I was very close to just replied: did you discuss this with the therapist? Translate: you are telling me too much I cannot or I do not want to deal with that.

My wife mocks me, she tells me: let's jusmp from the balcony now. Other times she starts crying.

And this is the good scenario, most people do not understand what depression is. They think that depressed means that you are a bit sad, they know nothing of all the symptoms of depression, how crippling it is.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

Thank you all for your response. I didn't actually mean telling people about being suicidal. Just being open that you are depressed and struggling. Along with the "if only we had known" comes the "he/she seemed so happy." But when I am open with my struggle and with my pain, people turn away from it and don't want to hear about it. They only want rainbows and unicorns or nothing at all.

 

[Hollowillow]

Every time someone tell me to be pisitive, or that my physical pain is just in my head, my wish to die levels up.