If it weren’t for your childhood trauma, do you think you’d still be here?

[venin]

I most definetely wouldn't. At all

It's the main source of my life's hell and that's the cause of everything going south in my adolescence and young adulthood.

What about you? Do you think you'd still be here?

 

[アホペンギン]

I'd still be here. I just don't see any decent future for myself regardless of how good my life is.

 

[ShotgunShell]

No, I'd be a totally different person with hope and an actual future.

I mourn the child that I was supposed to be, but I know I deserved every bit of it in the end.

 

[venin]

I'd still be here. I just don't see any decent future for myself regardless of how good my life is.

But don't you think that's biased by what you've been through?

No, I'd be a totally different person with hope and an actual future.

I mourn the child that I was supposed to be, but I know I deserved every bit of it in the end.

Deserved the bad stuff?

 

[アホペンギン]

But don't you think that's biased by what you've been through?

Yes, in a way it is biased but I'm also one of the causes as to why I want to ctb. And an inevitable thing is a cause as well. I don't want to elaborate so, i'll leave it at that.

 

[ShotgunShell]

Deserved the bad stuff?

Yeah. I kinda see life as "you get what you give", so if I was given all this bad stuff- then I've done something to deserve it all. It's easier that way.

 

[venin]

Yes, in a way it is biased but I'm also one of the causes as to why I want to ctb. And an inevitable thing is a cause as well. I don't want to elaborate so, i'll leave it at that.

Fare enough

Yeah. I kinda see life as "you get what you give", so if I was given all this bad stuff- then I've done something to deserve it all. It's easier that way.

It were true if life would be fair. But it so isn't. At all

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's hard to know really. I think I had shy, unconfident genes from the start but I'm sure that multiple bereavements and growing up with a (suspected) narcissist has definitely shaped who I am. Really- for better or worse- they set me on this path- or- my way of coping with them has. I developed ideation because of them- so that was a direct route to here. My coping mechanism was being creative though. I became (probably unhealthily) obsessed with it as the one constant thing in my life. I suppose that 'saved' me for a while. But really- it's mal-adjusted and unreliable in the long term and now- it's failing- hence, I'm here.

That all said though- can we really blame everything on an event, or a person? I think we certainly can if it's something unforgiveable like abuse. Still- I probably COULD have lived a more balanced, happier life if I had made more effort to confront the things I knew were going to hold me back- like social anxiety and lack of confidence. I may well have turned out differently if certain things hadn't happened but- I could have tried harder in life I suppose to overcome certain things.

 

[Unknown21]

No, i don't fit in with life itself.

 

[fedupwithlife]

Yeah. I kinda see life as "you get what you give", so if I was given all this bad stuff- then I've done something to deserve it all. It's easier that way.

Doesnt work like that but no one knows jow it does

 

[venin]

No, i don't fit in with life itself.

Could you elaborate?

Doesnt work like that but no one knows jow it does

I think a higher law that governs everything just doesn't exist or else we would've seen it.

Just the laws of physics, biology and so on. Which are thrash if you're suicidal and depressed.

So I'm gonna say it again: EXISTENCE IS SHIT

 

[Unknown21]

Could you elaborate?

I think a higher law that governs everything just doesn't exist or else we would've seen it.

Just the laws of physics, biology and so on. Which are thrash if you're suicidal and depressed.

So I'm gonna say it again: EXISTENCE IS SHIT

Totally agree.

 

[TapeMachine]

If I'd grown up with a healthy childhood and a loving, trustworthy support system, my life could have turned out so so differently...

Alas, that was not my reality, so here we are.

 

[venin]

If I'd grown up with a healthy childhood and a loving, trustworthy support system, my life could have turned out so so differently...

Alas, that was not my reality, so here we are.

It hurts like hell knowing what I could've done and how my life could've been…

 

[Huggs]

No. I'd still struggle because of other conditions but I'd have had a normal-ish experience which would have been good enough for me.

 

[WonderingSoul]

No. I'd be a way more functioning and healthy individual if it wasn't for childhood trauma.

 

[BlazingBob]

I doubt it. I endured horrible abuse which caused mental problems and most definitely contributed to my physical issues, all of which make life not worth living. Actually it makes living impossible because I'm too sick to do much of anything. I think it all leads back to how I was treated growing up and continue to be treated.

 

[venin]

No. I'd be a way more functioning and healthy individual if it wasn't for childhood trauma.

I feel you

I doubt it. I endured horrible abuse which caused mental problems and most definitely contributed to my physical issues, all of which make life not worth living. Actually it makes living impossible because I'm too sick to do much of anything. I think it all leads back to how I was treated growing up and continue to be treated.

I'm sorry that happened…

 

[wristcutangel]

my entire life was trauma from beginning until now, i genuinely can't imagine the person i would be without it.

 

[venin]

my entire life was trauma from beginning until now, i genuinely can't imagine the person i would be without it.

That's awful… sorry to hear that. Can I ask how old are you?

 

[Lost Magic]

While childhood trauma certainly didn't help, I never felt like I fitted into this world. I even remember being a loner at playschool haha. I asked my uncle at 8 years old what this life was all about (he was in his 60s) and he said, I have asked myself that question many times myself.

 

[wristcutangel]

That's awful… sorry to hear that. Can I ask how old are you?

just fresh out of highschool.

 

[venin]

While childhood trauma certainly didn't help, I never felt like I fitted into this world. I even remember being a loner at playschool haha. I asked my uncle at 8 years old what this life was all about (he was in his 60s) and he said, I have asked myself that question many times myself.

I also have felt that way many times, like I just don't belong here. At the same time I've had moments (not so many) where I've felt really good, like being part of life, really enjoying it.

If I were to guess I would say for me the estrangement came from my trauma. I would've been so different if it weren't for it. I probably would've been more atypical even without the trauma but I would've definetely succeeded in fitting in and building myself an awesome life.

 

[inviável]

I would love to say no, but I just grow to realize that I would have to be a complete different person so I can atleast feel safe or happy, but It would be a little less tourturing if I had a better childood. Just in general things could have been better.

 

[venin]

I would love to say no, but I just grow to realize that I would have to be a complete different person so I can atleast feel safe or happy, but It would be a little less tourturing if I had a better childood. Just in general things could have been better.

I'm sorry it wasn't at least that

 

[Lumenier]

I'm unsure if I would or would not- any change could drastically alter how one's life would have played out. It's possible that if I wore a different shirt on a different day over a decade ago, I may have for some reason never have learned the things I've learned, done the things I've done, or become who I now am. On the other hand, those changes might not have happened. What's the use in imaging alternate timelines when my conscious is confined to linear time? Besides, the way things did play out, my childhood doesn't define who I am. I pulled myself out of the pit they threw me into and I'm not their victim. It's never the injury that hurts me in the end- it's the vapidity of bystanders, and humanity is just a large group of bystanders after all. A different childhood wouldn't have changed that even if it may have granted me more ignorance.

 

[exiled]

No, and I am fully confident of that answer. My childhood trauma is the sole reason for which I am suicidal. If I had a a different upbringing, I really believe I would be someone who could enjoy life; who knows, I may have even been a moronic pro-lifer!

 

[trashprincess]

Would still be disabled. Would still be transgender. Would still be poor. So probably

 

[girlsboysthems]

i do think i was born different, so if i can tweak the question to fit my situation i would say yes.

 

[Chancerator]

I'm pretty sure that I would be The Ruler of The Motherfuckin' World if not for my childhood trauma. The amount of shit I've been able to accomplish WITH my trauma history has been mind-bogglingly awesome, so I can only grieve everything I could have become without it. And, ya know, I'm still fucking miserable despite any achievements I've been able to make....and the only reason I'm miserable is bc of the trauma (and its effects). So, to answer your question, no. A goddamned resounding no. I absolutely wouldn't be here if not for the things that were done to me when I was young. And that's a hard fucking pill for me to swallow sometimes.