If I talk too much on here, will those stupid journalists pick on me in an article?

[Cauliflour]

I saw a youtube video on sasu a while ago, around the time I joined, it was a link that was spreading about on here, and there's a whole chapter about this specific user that popped up quite a bit in the earlier parts of the video. Now I have over 800 messages and I am pretty recognisable due to my green text, my way of speaking, my doodles and my barely believable motive that creeps its way into certain posts. I'm worried that one of those journalists will be hunting for news on here, see my posts pop up in a few threads and then cyber stalk me to make a clickbait headline about how I'm actually a 50 year old man who gets off to kids poisoning themselves.

For starters, these kinds of people aren't gonna understand my way of thinking. I'm pretty open on here about how I'm a self harm addicted masochist who wants to die in a glorious bloodbath, but I try my hardest to not project that viewpoint onto others cause self harm is a bitch of an addiction, however I'm autistic so tone is a bit tricky for me. Not to mention that a journalist would just see "self harm and masochism? They must be a psychopathic freak!" and start yapping. I have an internet presence online outside of this website with a different alias, what if that news makes it's way over and everyone thinks I'm some degenerate that pushes people to suicide? I'd never be able to recover from that!

Yeah I know it's the risk of being on a website like this, but I can't help but think that I'm gonna be targeted for harassment one day and all I can do is sit back and pray. If my own parents can't understand my feelings around self harm then how can some journalist who's never even met me understand? Even if I drop my recognisable attributes, I still have the problem that to an outsider, I look like an elaborate troll. No normal person reading the guardian is gonna understand what it's like to be a mentally ill masochist. Hell, most normal people probably don't even know what a masochist is outside of 50 shades of grey. I mean, a young woman, WITH autism AND is queer wants to kill themselves...for fun? That's a whole lot of fanfiction sounding shit cause as we all know, suicidal people only exist in 1 form and that's careless depressed people who just can't control themselves!

Then there's youtubers, who are probably even worse.

 

[Lamentice]

I never even thought about this; it's cruel, but does it really effect you if it happens?

I see you're worried you'll be found somewhere else online and connected to your account here, but I don't think it's very likely unless you're dropping hints and are a visible person elsewhere online.

 

[Cauliflour]

I never even thought about this; it's cruel, but does it really effect you if it happens?

I see you're worried you'll be found somewhere else online and connected to your account here, but I don't think it's very likely unless you're dropping hints and are a visible person elsewhere online.

If somebody really wanted to connect irl me to online me to sasu me then they probably could. You'd need to get out one of those detective boards with the red string but if some journalist planted the seeds of doubt then all it would take would be some chronically online losers to finish the job. You ever seen geoguesser nerds? They can figure out where you live just by you posting a photo of a field.

 

[Lamentice]

If somebody really wanted to connect irl me to online me to sasu me then they probably could. You'd need to get out one of those detective boards with the red string but if some journalist planted the seeds of doubt then all it would take would be some chronically online losers to finish the job. You ever seen geoguesser nerds? They can figure out where you live just by you posting a photo of a field.

Well unless you're gonna strip your entire online presence, I'd say leave this as a "cross that bridge if I get there" type deal.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I think those dishonest journalists are much more likely to pick on someone who's been around here much longer than you have. Like me for instance. I can just imagine it already, "This Lost in a Dream guy is a real psycho! He made multiple goodbye threads where he said he would kill himself over and over, but was just trolling for attention!" That's not true of course, I really did get very close to ending my life on multiple occasions, but people reporting on the news will always twist our words and lie about us, because that's just how they are.

All I can say is, if they DO want to pick on me for some reason, then BRING IT ON! I'll tell those bastards how it is. Life has been more misery than it has been happiness for me, and even though I have addictions that keep me going, they are the ONLY reason I'm still alive. Alcohol, food, sleep, and writing my books that I write are all I've got. Also coloring books and word searches, I love those for some reason. But really, they don't make up for all the trauma I've experienced in my life, nor do they make up for the health problems I've had to deal with either.

If for some reason, you do get picked on, well... at least we'll be in the same boat. Let them write an article about you and I, and say whatever they want. I will happily say that on Discord, I use the name Lost in a Dream there as well, and if they want, I'll tell them the name I use on ex-Christian.net.

 

[Cauliflour]

Well unless you're gonna strip your entire online presence, I'd say leave this as a "cross that bridge if I get there" type deal.

I do worry what would happen to me on this site though if the media draws attention to me. I mean, I'd be great for milking clickbait articles for considering I'm already very weird in a niche community to begin with. The whole masochism thing is what I'm most worried about as I have a feeling that if some journalist was looking through some threads for research and decided to look into my posts for whatever reason and even just make a reference to that, then it'll start the ball rolling for others to do the same. It sounds ridiculous but I live in Britain where this site is brought up fairly often in news sites as part of their pro-surveillance propaganda so it's not unrealistic that they could use me as part of their argument for internet censorship, and I'd rather this safe space not have that connotation personally.

I think those dishonest journalists are much more likely to pick on someone who's been around here much longer than you have. Like me for instance. I can just imagine it already, "This Lost in a Dream guy is a real psycho! He made multiple goodbye threads where he said he would kill himself over and over, but was just trolling for attention!" That's not true of course, I really did get very close to ending my life on multiple occasions, but people reporting on the news will always twist our words and lie about us, because that's just how they are.

All I can say is, if they DO want to pick on me for some reason, then BRING IT ON! I'll tell those bastards how it is. Life has been more misery than it has been happiness for me, and even though I have addictions that keep me going, they are the ONLY reason I'm still alive. Alcohol, food, sleep, and writing my books that I write are all I've got. Also coloring books and word searches, I love those for some reason. But really, they don't make up for all the trauma I've experienced in my life, nor do they make up for the health problems I've had to deal with either.

If for some reason, you do get picked on, well... at least we'll be in the same boat. Let them write an article about you and I, and say whatever they want. I will happily say that on Discord, I use the name Lost in a Dream there as well, and if they want, I'll tell them the name I use on ex-Christian.net.

I wish I could be this optimistic! Chances are I'm gonna be on this site for a good while as I'm passively suicidal and really just need somewhere to feel less alone when it comes to mental health, so maybe I've got a good few years left.

 

[Lamentice]

You'd still have community here if it happened

 

[Pluto]

 

[CookedRamen]

Out if curiosity, why is your text green? I'm mostly a lurker here. Haven't unlocked the sanctuary yet, but couldn't you just post there or in the private subforum about anything you didn't want potentially seen by the media.

 

[sometimelater]

i dont want to sound like a hater but you quote "want to die in a glorious bloodbath" so i can imagine there's already going to be documentary about you in like 5 years regardless of what you do on sasu

there's a private subforum for real users we all have access to that normie journalists wouldnt really look at but you choose to post here in the public part while you're so concerned about becoming documented

i have a sneaking suspicion there is more than meets the eye here