If at first you don't succeed (a goodbye thread)

[evanescent_eva]

Here we are again. I failed an attempt two weeks ago, because I couldn't overcome my SI. It's possible that that will happen again. But I've barely had a waking moment where I didn't regret my previous failure. The past couple weeks have been agony, on top of a lifetime of agony, so here I am again, trying to end things. My method remains full suspension hanging, using a door, a door frame, and a dumbbell as my makeshift anchor point. The timing could be anywhere from a few minutes from now to tomorrow morning, as I will be alone during that time.

I remain grateful for the community I've found on sasu, but I won't wax poetic. I lost the right to wax poetic when I cried wolf during my first attempt. With that said, if you have it in you to wish a failure luck or peace on their journey, I would be thankful.

Much love to you all, and wishing you all so much care on your journeys.

 

[Anonymousa]

Again, whatever happens, I hope you can escape the pain you are in, one way or another. Sorry no improvement has happened from the last attempt. Hope this attempt ends up how you want it to. Know you didn't cry wolf last time, there is no shame with not going fully through will an attempt due to how hard it is to suicide with bastard SI so if you fail again or back out don't worry.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Here we are again. I failed an attempt two weeks ago, because I couldn't overcome my SI. It's possible that that will happen again. But I've barely had a waking moment where I didn't regret my previous failure. The past couple weeks have been agony, on top of a lifetime of agony, so here I am again, trying to end things. My method remains full suspension hanging, using a door, a door frame, and a dumbbell as my makeshift anchor point. The timing could be anywhere from a few minutes from now to tomorrow morning, as I will be alone during that time.

I remain grateful for the community I've found on sasu, but I won't wax poetic. I lost the right to wax poetic when I cried wolf during my first attempt. With that said, if you have it in you to wish a failure luck or peace on their journey, I would be thankful.

Much love to you all, and wishing you all so much care on your journeys.

I hope you get the peace your heart desires.

 

[lifeisadream]

You're not a failure, you're brave. It's just SI is strong & it has a desire to keep us in the loop of endless suffering. I'm sorry for everything you've endured here on planet shite. Hopefully everything will go to plan & you'll find peace this time. But if not, come back here & stay with us a little longer. Hugs to you.

 

[TBONTB]

Here we are again. I failed an attempt two weeks ago, because I couldn't overcome my SI. It's possible that that will happen again. But I've barely had a waking moment where I didn't regret my previous failure. The past couple weeks have been agony, on top of a lifetime of agony, so here I am again, trying to end things. My method remains full suspension hanging, using a door, a door frame, and a dumbbell as my makeshift anchor point. The timing could be anywhere from a few minutes from now to tomorrow morning, as I will be alone during that time.

I remain grateful for the community I've found on sasu, but I won't wax poetic. I lost the right to wax poetic when I cried wolf during my first attempt. With that said, if you have it in you to wish a failure luck or peace on their journey, I would be thankful.

Much love to you all, and wishing you all so much care on your journeys.

You didn't lose the right to anything. I send you love on your journey.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I wish you no more suffering

 

[TBONTB]

You didn't lose the right to anything. I send you love on your journey.

And if it's not too nosy, how tall are you? Full suspension on a standard door doesn't seem possible for my 5 foot 6 height

 

[Rynalia]

Sending love and best wishes wherever you end up (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

 

[Redacted24]

You didn't lose any right to do or say whatever you choose. You are courageous and capable and powerful, and I hope all of those help you on your journey.
Wishing you a comfortable travel and that you find the peace you desire along the way.
And I'm looking forward to crossing paths someday.
You could say, I'm counting on that!

 

[Haibane-renmei-reki]

Here we are again. I failed an attempt two weeks ago, because I couldn't overcome my SI. It's possible that that will happen again. But I've barely had a waking moment where I didn't regret my previous failure. The past couple weeks have been agony, on top of a lifetime of agony, so here I am again, trying to end things. My method remains full suspension hanging, using a door, a door frame, and a dumbbell as my makeshift anchor point. The timing could be anywhere from a few minutes from now to tomorrow morning, as I will be alone during that time.

I remain grateful for the community I've found on sasu, but I won't wax poetic. I lost the right to wax poetic when I cried wolf during my first attempt. With that said, if you have it in you to wish a failure luck or peace on their journey, I would be thankful.

Much love to you all, and wishing you all so much care on your journeys.

Nothing much to say, life can be awful and one gets the DEEP urge to exit, good luck in your escape attempt.

 

[lost_one]

Good luck

 

[evanescent_eva]

I'm too tall. By a couple measly inches, I'm too fucking tall. I thought I could get away with a door that was 15 inches taller than me, but nope, of course not, not with my luck. If I had been born AFAB I'd be dead right now.

 

[Anonymousa]

aww I am sorry Eva :< Sorry you being born in the wrong body caused this, thats sounds really dysphoric. As a trans girl I wish I was shorter but I have to be over 6 foot tall.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

I hope this time whatever happends u will be able to find peace. It was amazing to have you on the site.
Much love and good luck

 

[TBONTB]

I'm too tall. By a couple measly inches, I'm too fucking tall. I thought I could get away with a door that was 15 inches taller than me, but nope, of course not, not with my luck. If I had been born AFAB I'd be dead right now.

Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry you weren't able to succeed, Eva~ :( I failed my 1st attempt too but because I'm too small instead~ >_<
While you're still here, I hope that things somehow manage to get better for you~ :( and if not, that you're able to find a place that fits you~

 

[Alexandra_]

Good luck to you, may everything go smoothly

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

For what it's worth I don't think there's anything wrong in "crying wolf" to many know this already but I don't think you should feel any guilt for it,, it can take multiple attempts till one can achieve there goal,, you deserve your peace in whatever way you want it to lead you,, you deserve peace,, I'm with you in whatever you decide In this,,, don't feel guilty for SI and or guilt,, don't pressure yourself,, not sure your around anymore though but,, this is your ctb don't put so much pressure on yourself from others when it comes to it,, because no one has any right to judge the way you go about your own ctb,, you deserve at least that.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I am so sorry. They make it hard to live and hard to die.

 

[Lost Impact]

i'm very sorry. one day you'll know peace.

 

[Haibane-renmei-reki]

I'm too tall. By a couple measly inches, I'm too fucking tall. I thought I could get away with a door that was 15 inches taller than me, but nope, of course not, not with my luck. If I had been born AFAB I'd be dead right now.

ugh, i kinda expected it, am sorry for all this frusteration you have to deal with, i know it's a nauseating feeling for you when you keep failing at this

 

[eggsausagerice]

I'm too tall. By a couple measly inches, I'm too fucking tall. I thought I could get away with a door that was 15 inches taller than me, but nope, of course not, not with my luck. If I had been born AFAB I'd be dead right now.

​

EVA NOOOOO!!!! THIS IS FUCKED UPP!!!! AHHH!!!!

i'm so sorry that the door wasn't tall enough. i thought you'd get it this time. i would actually lose my mind and start trashing my room if i was so sure that i could do it and i get slapped in the face like that. i haven't been able to go through with my attempts either because the weather at night feels so humid and suffocating. i get too covered in sweat and bugs start biting my hands and arms, and i'm like, "i don't even want to do this, this blows" even though i walked to the woods and i have a stool and i'm holding a flashlight. it makes me so mad each time. i really do mean it each time i go to the woods. it just makes me feel like a kid again when i don't even go through with my attempt. i hope you don't feel too bad about it this time either.

 

[Vivissa]

Im so glad sharing a game with you...

 

[star.trip]

I'm so sorry you are suffering. No one deserves to feel that way. If you need to talk, I'm here.
To me you're a beautiful person

 

[JasVonD]

I wish you peace

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I hope you're at peace now.

 

[darksouls]

love and peace to you

 

[collapsenik]

Just heard of your passing. I'm so sorry it had to be like this. Hope you're at a more peaceful place than here