If all of your problems in life were completely solved, would you still want to CTB?

[Anzhe]

No matter how impossible it is, let's say every single problem you have is solved, whether it be physical and mental illnesses, poverty, lack of social connections, societal corruption, etc. Would you still want to CTB?

I'm asking this because at the risk of sounding ungrateful, I don't think I've had an objectively terrible life by any means, and I don't think I have real problems like a lot of people here. However, I still think that life isn't inherently worth it for me, and continuing to live is basically just slogging through the day for zero benefits. Even though I'm really not experiencing genuine hardship, I have no idea what I want out of life for it to be meaningful to me, so it seems like there's no other path for me besides eventual CTB.

Your words reflect my situation like a mirror. Even when things are going well, I'm still depressed and sick of everything. I feel like some kind of robot that just works to maintain a rich level of live. In my free time, I either go to the gym or just sleep and nothing interests me. I can't and don't even want to get into a relationship with a man - I've never been in a relationship even though I'm a pretty girl - I get paid well - I work as an independent escort. Any way i will want to commit suicide - the only thing I want is to fall asleep and not wake up - so that all this would disappear

 

[Comfydant]

i mean, if i wasn't so depressed, traumatized, dysphoric, overweight, or mentally unstable and i was actually able to support myself and be a functioning member of society, then there wouldn't really be a need for me to ctb... as of now, though, i just use maladaptive daydreaming as a coping mechanism because i'm scared of death and even more scared of the pain and subsequent hospitalization that would happen if my attempt failed.

 

[DeadManLiving]

No. Even if I won the mega millions jackpot lottery and met my soulmate, no.

No is no. Fuck life. I'm not even looking for a relationship with a soulmate at this point, I've given up on love.

It's a non-negotiable. For as long as one remains alive, one must contend with very broad spectrum of harms which may arise in conscious existence. If we are truly at Liberty as people, we should be able to determine what cost we are willing to pay for our own existence. So as long as no one else would have to endure my suffering or others in my wake, no one is entitled to be an arbiter to determine what an appropriate exchange rate would be between the amount of pain to be paid for some potential future gains which may (or may not) be reaped in return in some potential future prospect. Nobody can say as much as a hangnail would be a price worth paying, if the owner of the life seems otherwise.

I attempted some suicide on the best day of my life in 2015. I tried to hang myself at the age of 13 in my parents house after walking home from school on a glorious sunny day and everything was okay. Unfortunately both attempts failed, but on this upcoming third strike I'm officially lights out.

No amount of money, love or change of the tide would change my decision.

 

[gnomeboy17]

I'd need a complete personality change on top of getting rid of mental health problems, being poor and not having friends. Then maybe I could enjoy life and it would be worthwhile. I just always give up with everything and get nowhere. I need to be somebody else. I need to be somebody to can enjoy the simple things in life

Yeah that's what i was thinking, the complete change that would solve all my problems wouldn't be me. As much as I sometimes wish i wasn't, being autistic and LGBT affects who I am

 

[Regen]

Definitely not. Why should I. I would go out and help those who need help. And otherwise enjoy the happy hours and look forward on the bad days to the happy hours to come again.

And to the background of your question: my life is not completely bad either, purely objectively.

My childhood was also quite normal from the outside. I often felt guilty about it as a teenager, everyone else in the clinic had experienced terrible things, only I had a normal childhood and normal parents and was still so crazy.

I think there are many reasons why one despairs of life, has depression or anxiety. But clearly I am convinced that there are always reasons why one chooses suicide rather than life. Sometimes the reasons seem small from the outside, but for oneself they are significant. If there are no other external reasons (that you have experienced something bad), then there will be reasons in your disposition and in your family. Sometimes it is just bad luck how it goes. My parents were not bad or even evil, they were good in many ways. But in some places it wasn't enough for me personally. Without anyone being to blame.

But it was still not enough. Not enough love, not enough hugs. Not enough "you're good the way you are", "it's okay that you're not good at everything", "it's okay that you're shy", "it's okay that you have these hobbies and not your brother's", "it's okay if you don't study", "it's valuable what you're interested in".

Sometimes it takes a long time to see the reasons. Sometimes it takes a long time to see that you have dysthymia and not acute, severe depression and that such dysthymia can also lead to suicide or drug addiction. Only for example.

All the love for you!!

 

[ge0rge]

if only resurrection of loved ones were a thing...

 

[lionetta12]

No matter how impossible it is, let's say every single problem you have is solved, whether it be physical and mental illnesses, poverty, lack of social connections, societal corruption, etc. Would you still want to CTB?

I'm asking this because at the risk of sounding ungrateful, I don't think I've had an objectively terrible life by any means, and I don't think I have real problems like a lot of people here. However, I still think that life isn't inherently worth it for me, and continuing to live is basically just slogging through the day for zero benefits. Even though I'm really not experiencing genuine hardship, I have no idea what I want out of life for it to be meaningful to me, so it seems like there's no other path for me besides eventual CTB.

I'd still deep down inside want to die because my main issue is that I don't like the way society is today and most people and that's a big reason for why I feel suicidal. I'm trying to «recover» now and surround myself with a very specific kind of environment and people to maybe see if life can be bearable.

 

[incorporationated]

nope, because really the only thing making me want to ctb is my problems

 

[jigsaw_falling]

hell no, i personally don't hate life itself, but just mine specifically. i don't think that life's the problem, i think i am. so yeah, if all my problems got solved, i'm definitely trying once more. but in this life that in living, i cant see anything getting better, so i'll ctb instead

 

[_Kaira_]

Not in particular. Even if magically all my personality issues, trauma, financial, social, etc issues were solved. Ultimately I just seen enough of 'life' and quite frankly, I've seen everything I need to. There's nothing else I want or care to experience. I'm just existing at this point, barely even that.

 

[chloramine]

I answered "other" because I really don't know. I used to think that maybe if I just had people who were safe and who I trusted, if I could just do the things I'm supposed to, if I could have my own space, if I had energy, etc. then it would be okay. I just don't know. I don't know how some of the things would be fixed without just directly fixing the fact that I want to die? I guess I probably wouldn't actively want to die, but I wouldn't be devastated by the possibility and thought of death.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I don't even know how different of a person I would have to be for that to be true so I'm not sure. I feel like the problem is just me being awful at being a person.

 

[Pisceslilith]

This world is all the way wrong, so no I wouldn't want to stay here.

 

[DukeDestroyer]

I'm like a lot of people, I need to be a completely different person. Both physically and mentally. I have autism, it's a curse not a death sentence. People hurt me beyond belief. I'm permanently scarred mentally and emotionally, abuse made me who I am today. It sucks to be this way. If every problem were to be fixed, if I were the designer of my life. Who literally could control every aspect of my life. Then that would probably rid me of my suicidal thoughts. Yet still I don't care to live long.

 

[reverse03]

No. I am the biggest problem in my life. No matter what I do or help I get I always get back to hating and being mad to myself. I cannot move forward any longer. My self hatred is what eating me and it cannot be stopped. I need to be a complete person if I want the problem to be gone. And a complete person even my history needed to be different if I really want the problem to be gone. So ctb is my only answer or way out.

 

[hellispink]

There is children dying out of hunger. There is abusers everywhere. In every corner there is people killing other people. The oceans are dying. The animals are going extinct. Who would wanna be here honestly? It is not about me at all. I cant be ok and pretend everyone else its not suffering because of horrible selfish people. This world is rotten and no amount of help can fix it. It needs to be destroyed completely so no one else suffers anymore.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

Yes because nothing can make me unsee what this world truly is evil cruel unforgiving

 

[Musketeer]

If i could wave a magic wand and get rid of my medical issues, hell yes.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

If I could stay forever young and would not be an extrem masochist, maybe. But I guess I would get bored over the cenuries.

 

[Coal54321]

My only real problem is that my girlfriend doesn't love me... so idk. If she never stopped loving me and it was genuine, or I could go back in time and fix some mistakes, then I would want to live. But if I knew that something magic had to happen to miraculously fix the problem, I don't think I'd be able to shake the thought that her love isn't genuine...

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Yes, I'd still want to ctb, though I'd probably be able to delay it for some time if everything in my life was magically fixed. Life is tiring for me - I don't seem to get the joy or inspiration out of it that others do, and not from a depression standpoint, either. I'm fundamentally unmotivated to exist, and I'm not sure how that could be fixed.

 

[brokenpersi]

No, I would enjoy life because I know that sometimes it can be beautiful. But happiness is very fragile and only a few people really have a chance to experience it for a long time. I used to live a happy life for a few years, but it got worse every year and now I'm in hell. Either I get out of this or it's my breaking point

 

[LunaRory]

No. I've had suicidal thoughts since my early teens and they've never gone away but I sill try to work things out somehow, while at the same time working on my exit strategy. I still have moments of absolute joy in my life, but the phases of debilitating depression have me thinking that those moments, great as they are, are not worth the pain I'm in most of the time. My last hope is in-patient treatment I'm supposed to start in a couple of months, to deal with my trauma, which I hope is the root of my mental health problems, rather than something genetic that no amount of therapy or medication can fix.
There's no fixing the past but if I could get my trauma related mental health/behavioral issues sorted, there might just be a chance of a somewhat decent life.
Even then, I still plan to go out on my own terms. I really hope that Dr Nitschke's Sarco Pod will be readily available in the not too distant future because I don't see this world getting any better and I want to be able to say "ok, yeah. That's it for me. Bye" once things get too nuts for me.

 

[spyder]

I'd probably still want to CTB. I really don't see any point in living, there's no grand meaning of life and we're all just here.Even if my problems were solved I feel like I'd be left with a void inside of me that could only be filled by CTB.

 

[Sparx]

No my life was good until 6 months ago and I enjoyed it. Now it's become a shitshow.

 

[Ifonlyitwassosimple]

Nope

 

[sleeping.tree]

If all my problems were fixed, the ones others are responsible for, and if I regained full autonomy over my life, I would be very happy.
I just want the system shut down, it is plaguing my life. I have rights. It is always controlling me. I need my life back, because the reasons I am miserable are because of other people's actions.
There was a time when I was happy. I wish I stayed where I was. I would be still making my own peaceful decisions. All of this could and would of been prevented.
I wouldn't be actively suicidal if it weren't for other people.

 

[gar3z]

No, I would not have any reason to. But then again, would it be possible to have a life like this? Would I not just start creating more and more problems in my head?

 

[sleeping.tree]

I wouldn't be actively suicidal if I had the right to take therapeutic medication. It's necessary for recovery.
I wouldn't be actively suicidal if I wasn't forcibly woken up everyday at the same time by a blaring alarm system, and persistent pain, and consequent feelings of sleep deprivation and general dissatisfaction.
I wouldn't be actively suicidal if I wasn't cut off from my friends and the people I care about.
I wouldn't be actively suicidal if my life wasn't literally censored, which is inherently a crime and makes me very upset.
I wouldn't be actively suicidal if years of being abused hadn't lead to a change in thought patterns to feel extremely dissatisfied and angry and depressed and downright scared to do anything that is meaningful or important to me, to feel comfortable doing anything.

 

[EternalOblivion]

If everything about my life suddenly changed for the better, I imagine I would have the drive to keep moving forward. I'd be able to focus on other things for once.
That's not my reality, though. My life just isn't meant to be anything more than it is, which is why I want it all to end.