idk what to name this

[lady sea]

For so long I felt pretty much alone. I went through friends like they were songs on a playlist and if one was over-played, I would drop it. I spent so much time in the past contemplating whether I will ever find someone who I would really love. I always thought it had to be romantically but today I realize it doesn't have to be like that. I met someone 4 years years ago who unknowingly saved me. I pushed her away so many times yet we always found a way back together and I can say with all my heart that she has saved me multiple times. She is my best friend and for so long I was also scared to admit that she was. I didn't like the idea that someone can have such an effect on me. I know it sounds like I am helplessly in love with her and maybe I am but IF I am, I don't know it right now. Maybe we will drift apart indefinitely someday but for now I have her and for now I will cherish her.
For 4 years this site has also been my refuge and my go to place when I am down. I have never shared Lady Sea with anyone in my life. Today, I finally opened this part of me up to my person... so I know she will be reading this eventually. So, A, I love you and you mean the world to me. Thank you for saving me and I know this is extra corny but I mean every word. Oh and welcome to Sanctioned Suicide.