i don't want to feel comfortable with my situation, yet it's happening anyway. no longer working and my days consist of being in front of the computer trying to make a project successful every single day.
i hate waking up. i'm either in physical or mental pain or both. i hate waking up from a fucked up dream that made me feel like shit, to being awake and realizing that the reality i'm in is much worse.
this is not how i wanted to live my life. the project is just one of the very few i would have wanted to become a success, but without the rest, everything still feels pretty empty.
is it being comfortable or do i feel numb instead? might be a mix. either way, beyond what i'm feeling is a reality i can't escape. waiting for me to go back to.
how long am i able to continue doing this? i don't know. once the money reaches a very low amount before any real success occurs, then i'll have to leave.
i hate my life even though i'm doing something i would have loved to do for the rest of it.
i am broken. i am lonely, but no longer want to be in a relationship to fill the void it left me. my body is slowly receiving damage because of my current lifestyle and i'm mostly fine with it. my spine and back muscles are messed up now, my arms shake when doing certain things, and my brain doesn't function as well as it used to.
i wish i got cancer somehow just so i know something is bound to kill me soon when left untreated.
i don't want to become comfortable with this life.
i hate waking up. i'm either in physical or mental pain or both. i hate waking up from a fucked up dream that made me feel like shit, to being awake and realizing that the reality i'm in is much worse.
this is not how i wanted to live my life. the project is just one of the very few i would have wanted to become a success, but without the rest, everything still feels pretty empty.
is it being comfortable or do i feel numb instead? might be a mix. either way, beyond what i'm feeling is a reality i can't escape. waiting for me to go back to.
how long am i able to continue doing this? i don't know. once the money reaches a very low amount before any real success occurs, then i'll have to leave.
i hate my life even though i'm doing something i would have loved to do for the rest of it.
i am broken. i am lonely, but no longer want to be in a relationship to fill the void it left me. my body is slowly receiving damage because of my current lifestyle and i'm mostly fine with it. my spine and back muscles are messed up now, my arms shake when doing certain things, and my brain doesn't function as well as it used to.
i wish i got cancer somehow just so i know something is bound to kill me soon when left untreated.
i don't want to become comfortable with this life.
