animism
at least I tried.
- Apr 15, 2023
- 18
It feels good that he knows I care about him and it has nothing to do with him. Ive written letters before on my other attempts [not all, just some] but they were very me me me centered and I never sent them but this time I didn't specifically say goodbye and I tried not to raise any red flags but I needed him to know just how special he is and how loved he is by me so he's not left wondering if he could've done something. It just looks like a love letter, an affirmation of my care towards him, and I sent it as an email and he read it, showing support and love back and even asked me if I'd like to watch a movie with him so I know he's not suspecting anything but it still feels really good that the most important thing which is that I love him and I'm the one struggling, is out there now.
I'm not in any rush and still no date, but I feel more and more at peace every day with this decision and I'm relieved to leave soon. I still have to figure out what to do with my dog, she's the hardest decision but I have a friend who I know would take good care of her so trying to figure out how to do that without raising concerns now. I have two more letters to write, maybe one but I think two, and then ill be ready. It's a good thing I don't have any family that cares so that's a plus. I already closed off my social media and now just trying to plan the spot. At this stage I'm a little numb but not nervous at all. I know that can change but tonight I can sleep peacefully, and that's huge. I'll keep updating as things get closer to the right time.
I hope everyone here has a wonderful day and find the peace you've been looking for and im going to get some good sleep now.
I'm not in any rush and still no date, but I feel more and more at peace every day with this decision and I'm relieved to leave soon. I still have to figure out what to do with my dog, she's the hardest decision but I have a friend who I know would take good care of her so trying to figure out how to do that without raising concerns now. I have two more letters to write, maybe one but I think two, and then ill be ready. It's a good thing I don't have any family that cares so that's a plus. I already closed off my social media and now just trying to plan the spot. At this stage I'm a little numb but not nervous at all. I know that can change but tonight I can sleep peacefully, and that's huge. I'll keep updating as things get closer to the right time.
I hope everyone here has a wonderful day and find the peace you've been looking for and im going to get some good sleep now.
