It's very difficult to explain but I think the idea is obvious. A lot of the biggest emotions from people come from these romantic connections, positive and negative, so when I think about how empty I feel all the time it makes me wonder if that's the 'missing piece'.
I just can't feel that passion that really brings people deep heartbreak or joy or fulfilment or loneliness. Whenever I think about how flat my emotions became it makes me wonder if that could have tied things together to give me a sense of passion. It's even worse because I often feel like the opportunities and privileges I get so every now and then when I grow close with someone and they want to have that kind of connection it's lost in me and I never can really reciprocate that. It gives me this cold survivors guilt knowing there's folks struggling with real loneliness who feel they would be made whole by that connection and it falls at my feet for no reason.
I just can't feel that passion that really brings people deep heartbreak or joy or fulfilment or loneliness. Whenever I think about how flat my emotions became it makes me wonder if that could have tied things together to give me a sense of passion. It's even worse because I often feel like the opportunities and privileges I get so every now and then when I grow close with someone and they want to have that kind of connection it's lost in me and I never can really reciprocate that. It gives me this cold survivors guilt knowing there's folks struggling with real loneliness who feel they would be made whole by that connection and it falls at my feet for no reason.
