I wish there was a way out.

[Øystein]

I'm so desperate at this fucking point but there's nothing I can do. Nothing I can falls off, not allowed to travel too far (would be suspicious) not able to order anything, trains go too slow. The only thing I can try is partial hanging but if I fuck that shit up then i'm gonna make my family's lives hell too.
I just wish I was given any chance to die at all, there is nothing holding me back apart from the lack of a method. I can't cope.

 

[WornOutLife]

I was exactly like last year. Monitored 24/7, about to be sent to a psych ward, no way out, no method, and so on.

Sorry you're feeling like this.

Hope you can feel better somehow.

Venting here will help you at least so, keep on doing it! We'll do nothing but listen to you and try to help!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to this. I am terrified of most ctb methods. I know I do not belong in this world, there is nothing here for me but yet I feel trapped. It is so unfair how we are deprived of an right to die peacefully, we never asked to be here anyway. I wish you all the best.

 

[Øystein]

Venting here will help you at least so, keep on doing it! We'll do nothing but listen to you and try to help!

Hugs,

Matt

It doesn't do much of anything, but it's not like a have an alternative...

Might get into drugs though.

Thanks bro, I've seen you around here and you're always so nice.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I remember that, waking up to my mum searching my room at 6am, getting asked a million questions a day. I can do it now if I want but I won't yet

 

[Øystein]

I also just do not understand how all these children and impulsive people manage to do it. Why is death so easy for everyone except from me? It's not even pain i'm scared of (as long as I don't have a chance to turn back because of it), I just have no chances at all.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I also just do not understand how all these children and impulsive people manage to do it. Why is death so easy for everyone except from me? It's not even pain i'm scared of (as long as I don't have a chance to turn back because of it), I just have no chances at all.

yea, i didn't get it either before but now I do, I'm so fed up, when the day comes I'm just going to do it. no contemplating, no shit, i'll just hang myself, without questioning anything..

 

[Øystein]

yea, i didn't get it either before but now I do, I'm so fed up, when the day comes I'm just going to do it. no contemplating, no shit, i'll just hang myself, without questioning anything..

I don't mean contemplating, I understand what pushed them to it, i just don't understand how they physically managed to do it. I tried to think of any method possible but the best weapon I have in my reach is a pair of scissors or jumping out a first floor window. Everything is useless. Also, dying is hard. Things can go wrong. Hanging yourself in the wrong way has bad bad consequences instead of death and yet more and more children manage to do it properly at first try. Why are children smarter than me?

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I don't mean contemplating, I understand what pushed them to it, i just don't understand how they physically managed to do it. I tried to think of any method possible but the best weapon I have in my reach is a pair of scissors or jumping out a first floor window. Everything is useless. Also, dying is hard. Things can go wrong. Hanging yourself in the wrong way has bad bad consequences instead of death and yet more and more children manage to do it properly at first try. Why are children smarter than me?

ooh, ok. I think it's because they don't worry about it going wrong that much... i think full suspension is one of the most reliable methods, don't you think? maybe you could try that?
there's no way you can survive more than half an hour like that, not even 15 minutes...