Yuja
Student
- May 6, 2026
- 44
I don't mean like parental love or platonic love (although I would also want that) but in a romantic way.
To spend your time with someone who you know wants to be there as much as you do. To have that reassurance that the other party is willing to spend their precious time with you. To laugh and joke around with you. Eat together with you. Say goodbye and text each other when you're not together. I wish I had that.
I do it to myself though. Because of whatever excuse I come up with in my head I end up always avoiding people. How can I even develop a deep intimate relationship with someone when I never put myself out there. It's like sitting and waiting until someone magically appears in my life and fulfills all of the desires that I've had all this time. It's so delusional haha.
I wish I was more sociable but I can't. I hate myself. How can I love someone when I can't love myself. Is it even a yearning for love that I desire or is my brain tricking me? I don't know what I want anymore I just want to feel at peace. I just want to run away from everything. No matter how much I pray I know that whatever I wish for will never come true. Maybe it's because I think that it will never come true that it will actually never happen. Which in that case, I guess I just. i dont know anymore. i dont even know if any of this makes sense
To spend your time with someone who you know wants to be there as much as you do. To have that reassurance that the other party is willing to spend their precious time with you. To laugh and joke around with you. Eat together with you. Say goodbye and text each other when you're not together. I wish I had that.
I do it to myself though. Because of whatever excuse I come up with in my head I end up always avoiding people. How can I even develop a deep intimate relationship with someone when I never put myself out there. It's like sitting and waiting until someone magically appears in my life and fulfills all of the desires that I've had all this time. It's so delusional haha.
I wish I was more sociable but I can't. I hate myself. How can I love someone when I can't love myself. Is it even a yearning for love that I desire or is my brain tricking me? I don't know what I want anymore I just want to feel at peace. I just want to run away from everything. No matter how much I pray I know that whatever I wish for will never come true. Maybe it's because I think that it will never come true that it will actually never happen. Which in that case, I guess I just. i dont know anymore. i dont even know if any of this makes sense
