Venting My last hope is to find someone to do it with

[DeadbeatDaughter]

I am 20F and horribly desperate. I am looking for someone around my age who either wants to try and make a life for ourselves together. Or eventually CTB together. I just can't be alone I have tried. I am so miserable and sad by myself I am just not the kind of person that can thrive alone. I came very close to CTB in like 2024 only with the encouragement of my ex. It wasn't a horrible situation don't get me wrong, it's a lot to explain but I don't think death is a bad thing sometimes it's just necessary. Particularly with people like me who just can't make it by themselves. If there is anyone who feels similarly I'd love to talk. I am desperate for a deep personal connection I want to be WITH someone. I want to understand someone and be understood. I have searched for this connection everywhere I'm almost sure it's hopeless but I figured it doesn't hurt to make another post here.

I've posted to the make a friend megathread and to the partners megathread and nothing has come of them unfortunately I have searched dating apps and social media. I am a difficult person to get along with, I'm very ugly. But I have a big heart and I have so much love to give if I could just get a chance with someone who wants me too.

I'm not entirely looking for a romantic relationship but it's preferred. I just want to find my person.
Pls pls pls message me if any of this makes sense to you.

 

[IHateTheBeach]

I went through something like this. In my case I thought I am desperate for love but I wanted someone to change my life for better.

 

[pepperfarmer]

I am just not the kind of person that can thrive alone.

There is exactly one kind of person that can thrive alone.

It is a natural, human impulse to seek connection. You're not defective or off in any way because of it. Loneliness can absolutely destroy a person, and that I know intimately. It can be extremely horrible when your environment shuns you as broken. I hope you find your person.

 

[FoolClimax]

I've pretty much given up on romantic relationships. In my entire life, I've only had two real crushes.

The first was purely based on her looks. I was insanely attracted to her and wanted to fuck her so badly at that time.


Then, ten years later, I developed my second crush. This time I fell for her personality and character. We had so much similar interests. I think even If I tried again I couldn't find a gal like her ever again. In an ideal universe she would be the only one I would have gotten married to.
But due to my lack of physical attributes never approached her, never made a move.

Now after going through Fuck and Marry, The only thing that is left is Kill.
I guess the last one gonna have to me.

I hope if I reborn then it be a benevolent universe where love is not merely a tool used for procreation.

 

[SASU-KE]

You will find someone. Just like anything, it's hard work. Try to be good friends with people and mutual feelings might appear naturally.