The only thing more depressing than not having a job is having a job. I work double overtime and the fact that once I could afford almost anything a normal man wants ( that got me in permanemt and most likely lethal debt too) did not make me happy, so dont feel too bad about jobs. They are shite anyway. And I am not talkimg moonshine, because long time ago, I used to not have a job, and I was not much unhappier than now. I did not have anything, not even a t-shirt, but I am unhappier now.
About the love part, though, you are probably right. There is no substitute for that. Never will be. Cant replace love with anything. Sad reality. But a reality it is. I dont know any solution. I don t think there is one. Alcohol, but that only takes you so far and eventually you get disgusted by alcohol and stop, and after that there is nothing. Idk. I didnt try hookers because the very thought of a hooker is more depressive than alcohol. Idk, i guess we're all monks after all. Maybe some passion, idk i got none, but one thing s sure. Work doesnt cure anything. The only good thing about working your life away is that it takes away the ability to think. I am numb most of the times. Sometimes I don t even feel the need to shower when I get home. Let alone to DO anything.
But when I am lucid, I know the truth.
My issue anyway, is that I lost the woman. And there is no replacement for that. But that is not the point. I just wanted to reassure you about jobs. If you are unemployed, you didnt lose a thing. They all suck anyway. You will see when you get one, that I was true. Well, unless you get to work for Google and create the future Robot God. But all the rest of the jobs suck big time. And I am good, actually, very good at what I do, but I hate it anyway. I hate the very idea of having to go to work in order to live. So nevermind about jobs. It s better without one.
Have a good evening.
