I wish it was more socially acceptable to say “I love you” to people you aren’t romantically involved with

[リンさん]

Because I find myself wanting to say it so often to people. Not because I'm romantically attracted to them, or god forbid want anything sexual with them.

It's just that I feel and experience feelings which I wish I could express with these words. I want to say "I love you" even to strangers sometimes, but I'm well aware of how weird it is.

It's hard to explain. The only thing I know is that so often I have the urge to say it, and have to restrain myself lol.

There's so much love in me for people, and it's always very different. But it's still love, just not the kind we're accustomed to.

 

[lack]

i always personally believe the incredible lack of platonic intimacy is really fucking with all people on the entire planet ,everywhere.
it feels like we fucked so many things up, and for me the simple answer to most problems is; "how can i perceive this thing with more loving awareness?"..
and yet, i'm constantly met with what feels like hostility. maybe even more so when i try to apply a loving attitude. to say "i love you" is so exceptionally impossible to do when even just behaving in a more loving way seems to result in the opposite effect..

i think a more loving perspective could move mountains. if only we could embrace the concept of love more easily.
i completely understand your urge, and your restraints..
i think its beautiful you feel this way, and i hope you don't lose your ability to feel that way. even more so, i hope you (and i also) can find our community of friends who are comfortable enough with expressing emotions around platonic love, without everything getting so messy and ugly. what irony it is that the more we try to love, the more we experience rejection. hah.

 

[R.F.]

In Afghanistan it is common for males to hold hands with each other to show trust and respect. A quite intimate gesture but with no gay connotations whatsoever, simply appreciation for the other. Meanwhile here in the Western world it's highly awkward to comment on interpersonal relationships with more than "Thank you, I appreciate your help" unless you're long-time friends. This hyper-sterile environment even pisses an introvert like me off

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Because I find myself wanting to say it so often to people. Not because I'm romantically attracted to them, or god forbid want anything sexual with them.

It's just that I feel and experience feelings which I wish I could express with these words. I want to say "I love you" even to strangers sometimes, but I'm well aware of how weird it is.

It's hard to explain. The only thing I know is that so often I have the urge to say it, and have to restrain myself lol.

There's so much love in me for people, and it's always very different. But it's still love, just not the kind we're accustomed to.

It's a shame that everything is geared up to be about love and sex, I agree.
I often 'feel' strangers very deeply, cry when I see them, it's very weird.

 

[avaruus]

I've always been really heavy on loving others, so much suffering in the world and that's partly because we humans are programmed to care mainly for our own best interests and own survival.
Making a connection with someone, just letting them know that we have 'each others backs' has always been really 'fascinating' (i don't know if that the right word) to me.
I wish i didn't have such a big social anxiety, i like bonding with fellow humans.
At the end of the day, life/reality/world doesn't really care about us, so we only have each other to rely on.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Because I find myself wanting to say it so often to people. Not because I'm romantically attracted to them, or god forbid want anything sexual with them.

It's just that I feel and experience feelings which I wish I could express with these words. I want to say "I love you" even to strangers sometimes, but I'm well aware of how weird it is.

It's hard to explain. The only thing I know is that so often I have the urge to say it, and have to restrain myself lol.

There's so much love in me for people, and it's always very different. But it's still love, just not the kind we're accustomed to.

You shouldn't restrain yourself in giving love to others who need it and appreciate it, you should restrain yourself only if they don't.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

You reminded me of something from my childhood...

During my early years of life (2-7 years), I've always been an affectionate child with people, and sometimes I used to give hugs to people or even kisses on the cheek. However, people found it unusual.
When I was 5, I once wanted to kiss a girl on the cheek simply because I liked her, but her peers started to see me as an unpleasant boy.
I remember one day I hugged a classmate, and he pushed me to the ground forcefully, causing me a severe head injury, and I doubt if it might have caused brain damage.

Later, when I was in elementary school, I remember I once kissed a girl sitting next to me because I liked her, and everyone started teasing me, thinking I wanted to be her boyfriend.
On another occasion, I hugged a friend, and they thought I was "gay" just because of that.
In middle school, it was even worse. When my classmates saw my parents saying goodbye to me with a kiss, they all started saying I was a "Fa**ot" just because my dad gave me a kiss when, in reality, it's common in my family to say goodbye with a kiss.
I'm sure their parents bid them farewell with punches...

I think because of these situations and others I don't want to remember, I've become a misanthrope. Because as a child, I always wanted to be affectionate, but seeing all those people looking at me as a weirdo made me lose faith in humanity.

What do people want, anyway? They complain when you're affectionate, but ironically, they get upset when you're cold.

I'm someone who tends to romanticize relationships with people. I never seek anything sexual with people, just some affection because I feel that people deserve it. However, the society I live in doesn't want me to be affectionate, not even with women, because it makes me a "Fa**ot"...

 

[Blue Elephant]

@ClaudeCTTE This!! This is why I want to CTB, this fucking society and the cruelty and the stupidity with which they react to something or someone good. Sometimes I look at the world and it's like the only thing they want to do is taint and destroy everything.

I'm sorry Claude! : (

 

[アホペンギン]

I disregard the fact that I'm not romantically involved with my best friend, because he already has a wife and I say I love you to him every day. Theres no problem with that, imo. It depends on the person, usually someone more openminded would be fine with someone who they aren't in a relationship with telling them "I love you".

And addressing what you said about how it isn't love we're accustomed to, I actually think the love I have for my best friend is the only love for someone I have ever felt, the only true love. Never felt such a thing in my whole life, I'm relieved to feel love for someone again.

 

[リンさん]

I disregard the fact that I'm not romantically involved with my best friend, because he already has a wife and I say I love you to him every day. Theres no problem with that, imo. It depends on the person, usually someone more openminded would be fine with someone who they aren't in a relationship with telling them "I love you".

And addressing what you said about how it isn't love we're accustomed to, I actually think the love I have for my best friend is the only love for someone I have ever felt, the only true love. Never felt such a thing in my whole life, I'm relieved to feel love for someone again.

It's beautiful and amazing that you're experiencing these things. I'm truly happy for you, feelings of true love are quite rare to find, yet, sometimes it feels like love is almost ubiquitous.

What I meant by us not being accustomed to this type of love is more of a social thing. But I guess it also depends on where one's from. I feel like we mostly perceive love through the lense of romance, which is why it can feel inappropriate to say "I love you" to someone you're not in a relationship with.

That was my experience at the very least.

 

[Dara Argith]

This post resonates with me, alot

 

[Riig]

Because I find myself wanting to say it so often to people. Not because I'm romantically attracted to them, or god forbid want anything sexual with them.

It's just that I feel and experience feelings which I wish I could express with these words. I want to say "I love you" even to strangers sometimes, but I'm well aware of how weird it is.

It's hard to explain. The only thing I know is that so often I have the urge to say it, and have to restrain myself lol.

There's so much love in me for people, and it's always very different. But it's still love, just not the kind we're accustomed to.

I think its both a linguistic and societal issue largely in the Far West since atleast in Central & Eastern Europe saying "I love you" platonically to your Friends and Family is completely normal

 

[traumer]

i fully understand and also relate to the way you feel! sometimes i feel a geniune love for something or someone for such little reasons. maybe they wore my favorite tone of blue or spelled my name in a cute way, blinked in the same moment as me etc... random things make me get excited and i want to express this feeling