I wish I would die already

[Painless_end]

Since I realised the demands of adulthood and how difficult life is, I've steadily been losing interest in surviving.

The main reason for this is what I call my "small brain". I have really low mental strength and fortitude in general.

My brain is also incapable of inserting itself into any job meaningfully due to related reasons.

All I've wanted is to die. I just can't pull it off though. I feel like I'll probably just have to suck it all up and stay alive because I have very low mental capacity to actually hurt myself.

My career is practically non-existent and I live with my parents who are always on the edge of having a nervous breakdown themselves, especially my mother. I can't stand myself and I can't stand them either.

How did it all go so wrong ?

 

[HappyPotato]

thinking about adulthood and it's responsibilities has been stressing me out too and making me wanna ctb.

 

[The Divine Comedy]

The only comfort I take from adulthood is, if I'm honest with myself, childhood wasn't that much better. It's all rose-tinted.

 

[wereqryan]

I have really low mental strength and fortitude in general.

Same. I was just not meant for this world.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are understandable. Life is very difficult. In my case I am too weak to cope with life and I simply do not want to exist. It is painful to be in a hopeless situation and it is very hard to ctb. It requires courage and we are programmed to survive after all. If only there was a way to just disappear and be free from suffering. I hope you find peace.

 

[suisuiforum]

The numerous demands and responsibilities never stop piling up no matter what stage of life you're at. I'm so tired of dealing with everything as well, especially when there is nothing enjoyable about existence that can justify all the effort I'm putting in merely to survive. I wish I could pass away peacefully, but because of my strong SI and aversion to pain and uncertainty, I could also see myself just trudging on and suffering until natural causes take me out. I hope you find a solution to escape purgatory somehow.