i wish i wasn’t so scared

[failedmind]

i could go buy a gun if i wanted, i already bought a rope. i could do it. but im so scared. i have panic disorder and cptsd so im already anxious asf constantly and the thought of holding the gun to my head or putting the noose around my neck makes me nauseous. i wish i could get rid of this feeling and do it. i have no reason to stay, i have nobody.

 

[meowpuppy]

so relatable, hope you're doing well.

currently, my expectation is that if i try to hang myself, i'll just have a full-blown panic attack, and i'll just sort of, have to ignore it so i can tie the noose

 

[itsgone2]

i could go buy a gun if i wanted, i already bought a rope. i could do it. but im so scared. i have panic disorder and cptsd so im already anxious asf constantly and the thought of holding the gun to my head or putting the noose around my neck makes me nauseous. i wish i could get rid of this feeling and do it. i have no reason to stay, i have nobody.

It took me six months to get the courage to buy a gun. Then suddenly I did it this past weekend. Was pretty calm too.
But using it stresses me out exactly as you describe.
I hope it's not another six months.

 

[failedmind]

so relatable, hope you're doing well.

currently, my expectation is that if i try to hang myself, i'll just have a full-blown panic attack, and i'll just sort of, have to ignore it so i can tie the noose

im sorry you relate :( thats how i feel. gotta try to push through it i guess

It took me six months to get the courage to buy a gun. Then suddenly I did it this past weekend. Was pretty calm too.
But using it stresses me out exactly as you describe.
I hope it's not another six months.

im still a little nervous to go in and buy one. everything went smoothly?

 

[meowpuppy]

im sorry you relate :( thats how i feel. gotta try to push through it i guess

or we'd have to use benzos or alcohol or something to numb the anxiety.. but i don't have a benzo prescription anymore, and i'm not old enough to drink in this country..

 

[bipolar22]

or we'd have to use benzos or alcohol or something to numb the anxiety.. but i don't have a benzo prescription anymore, and i'm not old enough to drink in this country..

yes. benzos tarket the sub gaba units that shut down anxiety more efffectively than booze. but booze is better than nothing. the combo is devastating. 0 fear. shame you cant get benzos. gues thats america. addrall for every kid but god beware some extra gaba. fucked up country. fuck america

 

[itsgone2]

im sorry you relate :( thats how i feel. gotta try to push through it i guess

im still a little nervous to go in and buy one. everything went smoothly?

Yes. It's also a range. They had a beginners class on Saturday. I was nervous for that but it helped a lot. On Sunday I went to test a few. They helped me pick.
I'd learned the Glock g17 is for home defense. So I started there and they helped. I'm i