I wish I had the courage to do it. I don't know if I just want attention or something like that. No matter what I do or try, I'm always miserable, always unhappy. The worst part is, I think I actually like being miserable.
I've cut myself, tried taking pills, but I always regret it. I don't even cut that deep anymore, and when I've tried taking pills, I just end up vomiting. I keep thinking about throwing myself in front of a bus or something, but I never have the courage.
I'm useless. Mediocre. Worthless.
I can't even get a job. I try, I apply, but nothing ever works out. I see people moving on with their lives, building careers, and I'm just stuck. I feel like a burden. My parents tell me I'm mediocre and that I won't achieve anything, and honestly, I think they're right.
I don't have real friends. I can't remember the last time I truly cared about someone, or felt cared for. I can't feel anything anymore. It's like I'm numb all the time, just drifting.
I sleep too much. I barely eat. Sometimes I only have one meal in a day, or none at all. I spend most of my time in bed doing nothing, thinking nothing, just tired of everything.
It's probably hypocritical, but I still feel lonely. I wish someone truly cared about me, someone who could understand me and stay.
But I'm a coward. I can't kill myself. I can't get a job. I can't transition. I can't do anything right.
And the truth is... I don't even know what I want anymore.
I've cut myself, tried taking pills, but I always regret it. I don't even cut that deep anymore, and when I've tried taking pills, I just end up vomiting. I keep thinking about throwing myself in front of a bus or something, but I never have the courage.
I'm useless. Mediocre. Worthless.
I can't even get a job. I try, I apply, but nothing ever works out. I see people moving on with their lives, building careers, and I'm just stuck. I feel like a burden. My parents tell me I'm mediocre and that I won't achieve anything, and honestly, I think they're right.
I don't have real friends. I can't remember the last time I truly cared about someone, or felt cared for. I can't feel anything anymore. It's like I'm numb all the time, just drifting.
I sleep too much. I barely eat. Sometimes I only have one meal in a day, or none at all. I spend most of my time in bed doing nothing, thinking nothing, just tired of everything.
It's probably hypocritical, but I still feel lonely. I wish someone truly cared about me, someone who could understand me and stay.
But I'm a coward. I can't kill myself. I can't get a job. I can't transition. I can't do anything right.
And the truth is... I don't even know what I want anymore.
