I wish I was never born

[ppie41]

I've been born and I've created a life for myself to the best of my ability for the past 18 years, I have a boyfriend, friends, pets, and some family - but I still want to die. Despite all the "love" I've had, have, and will have in my life, I have extreme mental illness that will never go away. It's in my brain and it drives me crazy, and I want to, but I know I can't ctb, at least not right now, because it would break my boyfriend and my dads heart. I just wish I was never born and forced to create a life for myself. Kill me now

 

[absolomonisgone]

We all do

 

[Circles]

And yet that's the big kicker ain't it? It's irreversible. You're trapped. You are fucked. You're here now and all we can do is complain. And don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with complaining. But complaining gets no results. And as much as you wish to die, you're probably not even ready. And guess what? That's okay to not be ready. There's nothing we can do about anything, but the choices we make. And while we didn't decide to be born, whenever you're ready suicide is a choice only you can decide.

 

[ratlover223]

i wish i wasnt born either. regardless of the love i have been given.

 

[ppie41]

And yet that's the big kicker ain't it? It's irreversible. You're trapped. You are fucked. You're here now and all we can do is complain. And don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with complaining. But complaining gets no results. And as much as you wish to die, you're probably not even ready. And guess what? That's okay to not be ready. There's nothing we can do about anything, but the choices we make. And while we didn't decide to be born, whenever you're ready suicide is a choice only you can decide.

You're right. In life your only options are to live or die. I wish there was something in the middle but there isn't…. It's a cruel fate, but that's just how it is.

 

[imlookingforward]

i feel the same way, people are like "well you should be grateful you have all these things" but i'm depressed and my mind is hurting me. but if i ctb i will inevitably hurt others. sucks

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

and this is why im an antinatalist, hearing so many people say " i wish i werent born" . Makes it seem liek by having a child you are gambling with their life, causing them suffering and sentencing them to death. A child is not necessary. leave their souls in the void. Get a pet or adopt. And no Karen no one cares about you continuing your shitty blood line or "family name".

 

[targz]

and this is why im an antinatalist, hearing so many people say " i wish i werent born" . Makes it seem liek by having a child you are gambling with their life, causing them suffering and sentencing them to death. A child is not necessary. leave their souls in the void. Get a pet or adopt. And no Karen no one cares about you continuing your shitty blood line or "family name".

Family name thing also only applies to ~50% of the population too :)

 

[FuneralCry]

Never existing at all certainly is the most ideal outcome as one cannot be harmed by not existing. Life in itself is the source of all harm, suffering and problems which is why I view it as being so unnecessarily cruel to inflict this life onto existing beings with no straightforward way for them to exit. It's tragic how life continues to be brought here as there is no need for life to exist, and anyway choosing not to procreate is the solution to the problem that is human suffering. I believe that it could never be justified to procreate at all in a world that is as hellish as this.

 

[missingpeace]

If I had known what my fate would be as what I'm living through now I would have gotten my mother to abort me asap.

 

[SVEN]

Many days the only thought which gets me through them is "This too will pass". I totally get that it's not a great state to be in when the greatest consolation in life is that it can end.

 

[maybemonday]

I'm kinda mad at my parents for having me. I have an older brother with special needs who is violent. When I was young he would beat me. I for sure have some trauma from that. I'm mad that my parents had me when they already had their hands full with my brother

 

[snickethicket]

I struggle a lot with this. My brother is four years older than me, and between him being born and me being born, my mom had three miscarriages. I just wish one of them had been born instead of me, so that I wouldn't have had to exist and maybe that child would've been better than me and not ended up in the position I'm in now. I feel so guilty because my family loves me and tried so hard to have a second child, but I just do not want to be here.