I wish I could tell others

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

I wish I could tell people about my intentions to ctb. I wish I could explain to my mom and prepare her.
I know when I go there will be people saying why didnt I talk to someone even though I really cant. Not without getting hospitalized.
I want to tell her it's not her fault and that I'm just not cut out for this world. But I cant and it's so frustrating

 

[WornOutLife]

I wish I could too, well, they kinda know after my failed attempt but...they don't know I will try to ctb again.
Can I tell them? No way!
I guess ctb is a selfish act and you gotta do it alone, without anybody knowing about it.

 

[Fragile]

I told my mother and my brother, and I won't get into details, but this didn't 't really played out the way I was expecting, her deep feeling of pain is something that's making me reconsider everything and ultimately makes me feel far worse about it, almost trapped in this world.

But I feel like this was a good thing, because doing this without warning would hurt them much more, and maybe one day they will understand why I did it. Many people fail to get closure when a family members does this, that's the reason why I told them in the first place.

 

[LondonVillie]

I wish I could too, well, they kinda know after my failed attempt but...they don't know I will try to ctb again.
Can I tell them? No way!
I guess ctb is a selfish act and you gotta do it alone, without anybody knowing about it.

I told my mother and my brother, and I won't get into details, but this didn't 't really played out the way I was expecting, her deep feeling of pain is something that's making me reconsider everything and ultimately makes me feel far worse about it, almost trapped in this world.

But I feel like this was a good thing, because doing this without warning would hurt them much more, and maybe one day they will understand why I did it. Many people fail to get closure when a family members does this, that's the reason why I told them in the first place.

I wish I could tell people about my intentions to ctb. I wish I could explain to my mom and prepare her.
I know when I go there will be people saying why didnt I talk to someone even though I really cant. Not without getting hospitalized.
I want to tell her it's not her fault and that I'm just not cut out for this world. But I cant and it's so frustrating

kids are supposed to bury parents not the other way

 

[Fragile]

kids are supposed to bury parents not the other way

cool, can you come up with more bullshit platitudes?

It's not that simple, and if it was, then human beings are not supposed to have incurable illnesses, or at least have a chance at life. but that's not the case for some of us, is it?

 

[Unlucky Self]

This is the only place I can be transparent. I'm in a "treatment" program where my providers are already suspecting me because of my history. I can't even risk hinting or showing symptoms. It's just sad that the people who are supposed to help me would put me to torture. This law that allow them to confine others like children or animals is a societal failure.

 

[Apathy's Girl]

I told my husband the other day. He wants me to talk to my psychiatrist (understandably). He also has been spending more time with me.

 

[Ocelot93]

I wish I could tell people about my intentions to ctb. I wish I could explain to my mom and prepare her.
I know when I go there will be people saying why didnt I talk to someone even though I really cant. Not without getting hospitalized.
I want to tell her it's not her fault and that I'm just not cut out for this world. But I cant and it's so frustrating

I know how you feel. I just made a similar post. I just know that CTB is inevitable. And it needs to be soon. Many in my life know that it is a possibility, and they are frightened, but I'd like to have a calm, honest, peaceful conversation like them, like the kind you're talking about. And then I could just do it. At this point, I'm 100% certain that this is what I want to do. It's just hurting others that has me hung up.

I wish I could too, well, they kinda know after my failed attempt but...they don't know I will try to ctb again.
Can I tell them? No way!
I guess ctb is a selfish act and you gotta do it alone, without anybody knowing about it.

I'm with you. I desperately hope to CTB soon, but admit that it is a selfish act; and that's okay. My sister asked me recently, "Do you think that we are selfish for wanting you to stay alive?" and I replied "Yes. It's also selfish for me to want to die, which would cause you pain. You want what you want and I want what I want, and that's okay." No false martyrdom here, but it seems like for every one of us here, we've put others' feelings before our own by not yet CTB. I am hoping that these levels fluctuate soon in my world, and that I can be selfish enough to go through with what I need to go through with.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand. Suicide should not be so stigmatised and we should be able to tell others in advance about our plans and our decision. I do believe that it would maybe help those left behind with grieving as they would not have to deal with the shock of the person deciding to leave. I do wish we lived in a world where our right to die is respected.

 

[Cali101]

I wish I could let people know, just cant think of a way to do it without losing my exit tools

 

[Capsaicin78]

If you want to tell her , then please do so. It might actually help you in ways u can't expect.

 

[Hawthorne]

I wish I could tell the people I'm closest to - family and a few friends. But I feel that it would be such a huge burden to place on them and they wouldn't fully understand. I think my family would be upset and would try (in vain) to change my outlook on life. And I am also concerned they would try to put me somewhere. Some might even get emotional and angry with me. I don't know. I just know I can never ever tell them. I don't think I am eloquent enough to get my explanation and meaning across so that they really would understand. I think only we people who feel this way truly understand and empathise, which is why I'm grateful for this forum. I'm at a point in my life where I don't trust the slightest good thing that happens to me because I know a shit storm of grief is just waiting for me round the corner. I'm so tired of it.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I've learned that when you share with people, you put your desires at risk. Those who claim to love you tend to do anything they can to prevent you from carrying out your wishes.

Sadly, it's a burden we have to carry on our own. I've accepted that. It's a lonely life; a lonely struggle. That's why we have SS.