CaringShrimp
Shrimping around
- Nov 20, 2022
- 48
Heii heii ♡
Just a small vent.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year now. He knows how much I suffer every day, he sees the pain in my empty eyes. He has to care for me because I'm disabled, he seems so sick of it. He is not in love with me and neither am I with him.
I do not fully understand why he cannot respect my wish to die. I do not expect him or anyone to be okay with this, I just want to have the right to decide over my life without anyone getting in the way. We have had many conversations of me explaining that I've been in unbearable pain for years and simply want to rest. I've carefully thought about my decision for a long time and made sure that it is not an impulsive wish. He and I are incredibly unhappy with our relationship and it is obvious that it would have ended long ago if I wasn't dependent on him.
I am fully aware that the most likely reason for his behavior is the fear/pain of being left alone. It is easier to ignore the problem and stay in your comfort zone, rather than facing the harsh reality of the situation and having to deal with the consequences and negative emotions.
I just wish he wouldn't make it even harder, for me to find peace and relief, then it already is.
Much love to all of you ♡
Just a small vent.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year now. He knows how much I suffer every day, he sees the pain in my empty eyes. He has to care for me because I'm disabled, he seems so sick of it. He is not in love with me and neither am I with him.
I do not fully understand why he cannot respect my wish to die. I do not expect him or anyone to be okay with this, I just want to have the right to decide over my life without anyone getting in the way. We have had many conversations of me explaining that I've been in unbearable pain for years and simply want to rest. I've carefully thought about my decision for a long time and made sure that it is not an impulsive wish. He and I are incredibly unhappy with our relationship and it is obvious that it would have ended long ago if I wasn't dependent on him.
I am fully aware that the most likely reason for his behavior is the fear/pain of being left alone. It is easier to ignore the problem and stay in your comfort zone, rather than facing the harsh reality of the situation and having to deal with the consequences and negative emotions.
I just wish he wouldn't make it even harder, for me to find peace and relief, then it already is.
Much love to all of you ♡