Venting I will never be able to understand those who act like suicide is so bad

[FuneralCry]

No matter what I'll never be able to understand what's supposedly so "bad" about permanently ceasing to exist, no existence is what is bad instead and I'd be glad to be permanently relieved from it. I don't see any benefit in being conscious and aware when the peace of non existence solves everything, all that I've ever wished for is to be permanently unaware.

Existence was never a desirable state in the first place and I find so much comfort in the thought of being unable to suffer in this meaningless existence. I just find it so disgusting and deeply insensitive when people insist that suicide is always worse than suffering and push this view onto others even know not everyone sees value in the futile and torturous burden that is human existence.

I see it as such a terrible, hopeless abomination to have the ability to exist, I don't see what's supposedly so bad about suicide when nobody can suffer from the absence of everything yet there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this existence that was always unnecessary in the first place. What's bad for me is being trapped in this existence for decaces on end just to die a slow painful death tortured by old age, I see no benefit in reaching an old age, rather such a thing sounds so incredibly hellish and terrifying. For me a peaceful suicide would be the most beautiful release from the evil that is existence and without existence nothing could ever be bad.

 

[Seele]

I have one thought that stops suicide and makes me afraid of life:
The universe in an infinitely distant future will die by thermal death, where nothing will exist, only energy and eventually even the proton will decay, everything will cease to exist, while when I think about CTB I feel a paradox, because I know that I will never exist again, but I contradict myself because I think this reality is hellish

 

[iloverachel]

Life is truly awful and definitely not worth living. I think people say suicide is bad because of the effect it has on family members
I see death as a beautiful thing. I would finally be free from this prison of life
Life is a disgusting torturous abomination

 

[Seele]

Life is truly awful and definitely not worth living. I think people say suicide is bad because of the effect it has on family members
I see death as a beautiful thing. I would finally be free from this prison of life
Life is a disgusting torturous abomination

I think it's a terrible joke in bad taste that we come into the world crying because the first thing we feel is the pain of breathing, and people celebrate birth. When they should feel sorry, birth is sentence and death is liberation .
I really like the term that Cioran used. We are "metaphysical exiles", we come out of nowhere as if we had been expelled from it, until we pay the penalty.