I will be dead by August 2024

[unabletocope]

I an commiting myself to death hy August 2024. I want to die, I am prepared to die and I am prepared to put the work in to die by August, I will get SN by then and I will hit a breaking point

 

[Dliena]

I know August is still little ways out but I wish you the eternal peace you deserve from anymore distresses again once your due date or readiness hits

To be able to have eternal freedom from any further future pains/sorrows would without shadows doubt be ultimate paradise forever.

 

[unabletocope]

I know August is still little ways out but I wish you the eternal peace you deserve from anymore distresses again once your due date or readiness hits

To be able to have eternal freedom from any further future pains/sorrows would without shadows doubt be ultimate paradise forever.

Thank you.

 

[Gonnerr]

Good luck , wish you peace.

 

[ForgottenTomb]

I've read your posts and it seems like you've had a gruelling, lonely life. Know that you were always worthy of love and that you can turn things around at any moment and receive the love from your surroundings like you deserve. I cannot imagine the pain of being suicidal for 10 years, it sounds like you did your best to hold out for as long as you could. May you find the peace you've longed for.

 

[unabletocope]

I've read your posts and it seems like you've had a gruelling, lonely life. Know that you were always worthy of love and that you can turn things around at any moment and receive the love from your surroundings like you deserve. I cannot imagine the pain of being suicidal for 10 years, it sounds like you did your best to hold out for as long as you could. May you find the peace you've longed for.

I'm unstable and a nervous wreck, my life is like a never ending panic attack, one thing I've learned is that through it all no one was ever there for me, no one was ever my friend. Thank you for your empathy, I can't stop crying and suffering and I feel like I could wet myself from the sheer panic, I fear homelessness and death every day all the time but I'm open to a painless suicide, anything to end this nightmare of a life

 

[iloverachel]

Good luck friend. I understand and can relate to life being a never ending panic attack. Its truly awful

 

[Ambivalent1]

Good luck friend. I understand and can relate to life being a never ending panic attack. Its truly awful

That's what it feels like. Can't relax.

 

[iloverachel]

That's what it feels like. Can't relax.

It is terrible. Even when I am at home I get panic attacks too. My brain goes into overdrive just worrying about everything about life and the future and the past

Constant torture by your own mind. And add on top of anxiety, crippling depression and life truly is awful

 

[unabletocope]

That's what it feels like. Can't relax.

Its hell isn't it? I feel so much for you, I have people who I would wish this feeling on but not you, I hope you can overcome it into some kind of peace and strength and all those cliche positive words, thumbs up to you

 

[Ambivalent1]

It is terrible. Even when I am at home I get panic attacks too. My brain goes into overdrive just worrying about everything about life and the future and the past

Constant torture by your own mind. And add on top of anxiety, crippling depression and life truly is awful

Do you have PTSD? How are people like us able to ctb? Our anxiety is too high.

Its hell isn't it? I feel so much for you, I have people who I would wish this feeling on but not you, I hope you can overcome it into some kind of peace and strength and all those cliche positive words, thumbs up to you

I've tried meditating. Focusing on how each part of the body feels while my eyes are closed helps relax me...for just a few minutes.

 

[iloverachel]

Do you have PTSD? How are people like us able to ctb? Our anxiety is too high.

Yeah i do but it is not as serious as my anxiety and depression.

I really don't know its tough to CTB with anxiety I agreed. The constant fear things will fail and you end up worse.

So instead i just suffer in this world for decades

 

[Ambivalent1]

Yeah i do but it is not as serious as my anxiety and depression.

I really don't know its tough to CTB with anxiety I agreed. The constant fear things will fail and you end up worse.

So instead i just suffer in this world for decades

I plan to jump eventually. The bridges I have in mind have had many successful deaths so I'm not concerned with failing. I'm concerned with willing myself over the railing. I stood at the Golden gate bridge yrs ago (not to die) and I noticed I felt paralyzed when I considered jumping. I fear that will happen again. Jumping feels so unnatural like breaking the rules in a Sims game.

I suffer endlessly too. I'm curious how many others I encounter in public share this experience.

 

[tvo]

I can only imagine what you have been through and still going through. I really really hope you find your peace and healing. Lots of love.

 

[unabletocope]

For what it's worth- not a big Elton John fan but I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues is hitting me quite hard at the moment. Thank you for the messages

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[sukiduki]

I hope you find your peace. I wish my day could come sooner but I haven't been able to source everything for all my ctb methods/options yet.

 

[unabletocope]

Still working towards this. No one can do it all on their own.

 

[unabletocope]

Need to wait between 15 to 25 days for xanax, but I'm told its been shipped so that's something.