Venting I was stupid and asked for help

[undecidedfool]

I reached out for help again instead of sticking with my plan. I feel so fucking stupid. I could've ctb tomorrow and instead I'm going to a psychiatric urgent care with my partner in the morning. I fucking hate that I'm a coward. I could've left so easily in the morning to complete everything. Now I'm going to have to call my boss and hope I don't lose my job over this, because if I'm not going to ctb I still need to pay for shit. I fucking hate that I'm a coward who can't follow through, no matter how many times I've gotten to this point. Sorry this post is repetitive and stupid and could've been avoided if I wasn't like this. Sorry to even make you read it.
God I'm fucking pathetic.

 

[Fadenself00]

this is very normal, no need to apologize. Survival instinct is hard-wired into our brains

 

[StryngerX]

Think about it, youre not a coward, trying to get better its hard, way harder than ctb, it needs courage to do this. Hope you can see that and get through this.