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wait i'm goated
- Feb 12, 2023
- 260
i was cooked from the jump, it's so bad. i can't see a future where i'm happy or content because every aspect of my life is doomed to be horrible.
i'll be lonely forever because i ruin everything. my head is so fucked, i can't handle deep connection at all and i mess it up without realizing it. i constantly whine about how everyone has left me, i end up feeling angry towards others, but it has to be my fault; i'm the common denominator. i'm not good enough for anyone to keep me in their life, anyway. even if i do everything right, i'll eventually get dropped because i'm just not special or likable. surface-level "friendships" just cause more problems; it feels so artificial and performative. i usually get desperate and want to go further with the friendship, but i know that'll go terribly. i'll just fuck things up with my incompetence.
the only career i want is out of reach, the future i want just isn't possible. my body and mind aren't what i want them to be, nothing aligns. i could go on, but there's no point.
improving myself and taking steps towards a more positive life didn't do anything for my suicidal thoughts. at my happiest, i still planned to ctb and that's exactly what i tried to do. i shouldn't exist.
i'll be lonely forever because i ruin everything. my head is so fucked, i can't handle deep connection at all and i mess it up without realizing it. i constantly whine about how everyone has left me, i end up feeling angry towards others, but it has to be my fault; i'm the common denominator. i'm not good enough for anyone to keep me in their life, anyway. even if i do everything right, i'll eventually get dropped because i'm just not special or likable. surface-level "friendships" just cause more problems; it feels so artificial and performative. i usually get desperate and want to go further with the friendship, but i know that'll go terribly. i'll just fuck things up with my incompetence.
the only career i want is out of reach, the future i want just isn't possible. my body and mind aren't what i want them to be, nothing aligns. i could go on, but there's no point.
improving myself and taking steps towards a more positive life didn't do anything for my suicidal thoughts. at my happiest, i still planned to ctb and that's exactly what i tried to do. i shouldn't exist.
