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How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
667
My life is quite a lot like a card game... that I'm losing... badly...

First of all, I didn't even want to play, but I was forced to the table against my will. Then, the cards were dealt, and I was fucked from the beginning.

The cards I got were absolutely awful pairs. An interest in making music, but absolutely no creativity to compose or do anything with it, coupled with severe procrastination. I got an interest in acting, but paired with horrible social anxiety, making it physically impossible for me to do... anything. What about writing? Surely, anyone can pick up writing! Well no, because I was also dealt a really bad habit of overthinking and burning out.

Essentially, any hobby or interest that I wanted to pursue, I was also dealt a trait that made it physically impossible to actually take up those interests, and now I'm stuck in this weird limbo, with so much passion for these things, but no way to express them.

Still, I tried my best to play the game, despite the cards I was given. Turns out I shouldn't even have tried, because almost immediately I went bust, with some stupid turns, hitting when I should've folded, and folding when I should've hit. Now I've lost the game, but everyone around me still insists I'm still playing. No thanks, I'm gonna flip the table.

(Sorry if these analogies suck, I'm not big into cards)
 
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