Help i wanted to die but what happened ?

[thesilentoceans]

yesterday was sunday and i had gone with my family to temple we used to go there probably every sunday and its been like 16 years i guess. so we came home late so i was tried just by sitting in the car. i came home downloaded insta after 2 months and started watching reels which were all suicidal... and i was literally crying in the room watching those reels and how i cant commit suicide even if i want to so much.
my bro send me cat reels a little later i watched a few they were funny and in one reel pigs were killed alive maybe for food i guess it made so fucking angry that i forgot about suicide and wanted to live more and do something in future to stop this torture on innocent animals. and my suicidal intentions were completely wiped out till i went to sleep.
i dont feel suicidal today but i feel a weird thing in my stomach a bit restless about how all those suicidal thoughts just vapourised last night.
and i get a feeling that the suicidal thoughts will reemerge again tonight in my dreams or in the morning.
why is this happening plz someone explain it

 

[rozeske]

I can't say for sure why but the disappearance of suicidal thoughts is not something to hate. You can explore those feelings in the recovery section, if you want to that is. You might find a bit more explanation for it there. I wish you luck whichever path you choose.