I want to thank everyone here

[ThatStateOfMind]

You guys have helped me a lot recently. Things haven't improved much for me, though I haven't taken action to cause change. I don't know if I will, or what I'll do, or anything like that. I had a message typed up to cut contact with my ex but I deleted it and couldn't send it, it just doesn't seem right, at this point and time. It would hurt me a lot and I'm not too sure if I would be able to recover any time soon:

Either way, whether I've taken your advice or not, thank you guys. I'm still insanely nervous and suicidal about life as it currently is, but I truly appreciate having you guys to talk to on here. You guys are great.

Also as an fyi for anyone here, I really wouldn't bother with r/SuicideWatch. I tried it and either I didn't get replies, or I didn't get the compassion I got here. Someone very brutally told me to cut off my ex, and another person privately messaged me and asked very personal questions about my relationship so I blocked them. 0/10 wouldn't recommend it at all. Maybe others have gotten help but I haven't.

Also I know some also told me to cut off my ex but nobody here has told me as brutally or really even told me to, you guys suggested more than told me what to do.

Anyways, thank you guys, I'm gonna keep pushing, until I can no longer push.

Edit: I even want to thank the people who even read my posts, I appreciate you taking the time to read my (often long) posts! Also, I added in the part that I had a message typed up so you guys know the advice isn't falling on deaf ears.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide watch sounds really bad from what I've heard, I've seen quite a few posts on here of people complaining about it. But I just think that in general reddit sounds like it's very pro life overall, as it's well known this site used to be a subreddit many years ago before it got deleted from there. I'm pleased for you that you found some benefit from this site, I wish you the best.

 

[Dolphin55]

You guys have helped me a lot recently. Things haven't improved much for me, though I haven't taken action to cause change. I don't know if I will, or what I'll do, or anything like that. I had a message typed up to cut contact with my ex but I deleted it and couldn't send it, it just doesn't seem right, at this point and time. It would hurt me a lot and I'm not too sure if I would be able to recover any time soon:

Either way, whether I've taken your advice or not, thank you guys. I'm still insanely nervous and suicidal about life as it currently is, but I truly appreciate having you guys to talk to on here. You guys are great.

Also as an fyi for anyone here, I really wouldn't bother with r/SuicideWatch. I tried it and either I didn't get replies, or I didn't get the compassion I got here. Someone very brutally told me to cut off my ex, and another person privately messaged me and asked very personal questions about my relationship so I blocked them. 0/10 wouldn't recommend it at all. Maybe others have gotten help but I haven't.

second what you say about r/SuicideWatch. I lurked there for awhile before I knew about this site and it's pretty terrible, many people's posts get no replies or just a few really poor quality ones, it was just a stream of people venting largely to the void. No sense of community there, and yes it is completely pro-life, I believe anything else was against the rules. Probably it would get deleted from Reddit if it wasn't pro-life.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Suicide watch sounds really bad from what I've heard, I've seen quite a few posts on here of people complaining about it. But I just think that in general reddit sounds like it's very pro life overall, as it's well known this site used to be a subreddit many years ago before it got deleted from there. I'm pleased for you that you found some benefit from this site, I wish you the best.

It honestly is pretty bad, and I wouldn't mind if it was pro life (most people seem to be pro life anyways) but it's the harshness that I've experienced that really put me off of it. I know this site used to be a subreddit but I found it after that so I never saw the subreddit version of this site. And thanks, I wish you well as well.

second what you say about r/SuicideWatch. I lurked there for awhile before I knew about this site and it's pretty terrible, many people's posts get no replies or just a few really poor quality ones, it was just a stream of people venting largely to the void. No sense of community there, and yes it is completely pro-life, I believe anything else was against the rules. Probably it would get deleted from Reddit if it wasn't pro-life.

Yeah it really is and same in lurking there before finding here. I decided to go back and basically copied a post from here, altering some things and seeing what response I got there (There were certain things I didn't want mentioned there) and most posts I made got either zero replies, or bad ones, like you said. I've heard of people getting banned if they said something that wasn't pro life there, heard that from members here. I think @jodes2 was one of them but now Jodes is gone from here, from what I've seen, he was banned. Anyways, r/SuicideWatch, in my opinion, is an awful place to seek help or advice unless you get lucky and your post gains traction.

 

[Hitakiri]

Keep your head up, State. You got this.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Keep your head up, State. You got this.

Thanks, I appreciate that. I hope so lol

 

[nonialabaster]

Thanks, I appreciate that. I hope so lol

Reddit can be a cesspool. Don't look for compassion there. I'm a member of of a few subs there, mostly cooking subs, KitchenConfidential is a good one. Mostly line-cooks, sous-chefs, etc. Dive in to that, even if you're not in the biz. Those folks will make you chuckle, I guarantee it.
Take care, sugar.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Reddit can be a cesspool. Don't look for compassion there. I'm a member of of a few subs there, mostly cooking subs, KitchenConfidential is a good one. Mostly line-cooks, sous-chefs, etc. Dive in to that, even if you're not in the biz. Those folks will make you chuckle, I guarantee it.
Take care, sugar.

Yeah I definitely know about it's more cesspool type area. I'm a member of various subs but I don't use it super often. I might look into KitchenConfidential, I can only imagine the stories told there.

I actually stopped typing this and went to check out a few small posts. I like what I saw there. And thanks you too!

Btw, I must ask, is the cat in your pfp yours? I have a cat and she's been a huge support, here's a photo of her!

Even looking at this photo brightens my somewhat dark mood, I'm writing my current thoughts in a journal right now which is also helping. I'm in a bad place mentally, but you and everyone else are helping make it better!

 

[nonialabaster]

Yeah I definitely know about it's more cesspool type area. I'm a member of various subs but I don't use it super often. I might look into KitchenConfidential, I can only imagine the stories told there.

I actually stopped typing this and went to check out a few small posts. I like what I saw there. And thanks you too!

Btw, I must ask, is the cat in your pfp yours? I have a cat and she's been a huge support, here's a photo of her!

Even looking at this photo brightens my somewhat dark mood, I'm writing my current thoughts in a journal right now which is also helping. I'm in a bad place mentally, but you and everyone else are helping make it better!

The kitty in my avatar is my beloved Kristen, who died in my (and my late husband's) bed in September, 2021. We were able to have a vet come to our house and put her to sleep in her favorite spot. She had breast cancer and declined quickly. I told Mark that I had set up the appointment, just a day before Dr. Johnson was coming.

He cried all night, holding her. She was whimpering. It was awful. She'd gone blind, at that point. But as soon as the vet came into the house, Kristen perked right up, tail up, and went to the windows in the bedroom to press her face against one of them. Doc said, "Are you looking at squirrels, baby?" Mark and I said, at the same time, "She's watching the birdies."

When Doc put out her bag, Kristen sniffed it, then went and laid herself down on the pads we had put out. She seemed grateful for the help. Sorry. Tears are streaming down my face with the memory. But we were happy that our baby passed in her favorite place. She was 13, and we had her for nine years. Mark was her favorite human, but she loved me, too.

Mark carried her body to Doc's van, wrapped in a soft blanket. We got her ashes the next week. Hers sit next to Mark's, in my bedroom, on my dresser. Pictures of both of them, resting atop.

Sorry to ramble. I get emotional late at night.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

The kitty in my avatar is my beloved Kristen, who died in my (and my late husband's) bed in September, 2021. We were able to have a vet come to our house and put her to sleep in her favorite spot. She had breast cancer and declined quickly. I told Mark that I had set up the appointment, just a day before Dr. Johnson was coming.

He cried all night, holding her. She was whimpering. It was awful. She'd gone blind, at that point. But as soon as the vet came into the house, Kristen perked right up, tail up, and went to the windows in the bedroom to press her face against one of them. Doc said, "Are you looking at squirrels, baby?" Mark and I said, at the same time, "She's watching the birdies."

When Doc put out her bag, Kristen sniffed it, then went and laid herself down on the pads we had put out. She seemed grateful for the help. Sorry. Tears are streaming down my face with the memory. But we were happy that our baby passed in her favorite place. She was 13, and we had her for nine years. Mark was her favorite human, but she loved me, too.

Mark carried her body to Doc's van, wrapped in a soft blanket. We got her ashes the next week. Hers sit next to Mark's, in my bedroom, on my dresser. Pictures of both of them, resting atop.

Sorry to ramble. I get emotional late at night.

Aww, I'm sorry if I brought up painful memories. It sounds like you guys truly loved that cat, and I'm sure she loves you guys as well. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband as well. I'm glad you have photos and stuff like that to remember her by.

Again, I'm very sorry if I upset you in any way. Also, no need to apologize, I can get the same way sometimes but you sound like you have a very kind heart! Thanks for telling me that story, it's heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

I don't know if this will help or apply to you but when I lose something/someone, I always try to see a bright side, when I can, and then think "I'm happy to have something I loved enough to hurt this bad if it's gone". I hope you have a great night, and I hope you're doing okay :)

 

[Ki_Nam]

It's okay not to take action if you aren't motivated, feeling numb, or not interested in anything. Some people have well-lived lives full of accomplishments and aspirations. Others don't have that drive because they've been chewed out long enough or worse - chewed out by their own selves.

Also I can't sleep.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It's okay not to take action if you aren't motivated, feeling numb, or not interested in anything. Some people have well-lived lives full of accomplishments and aspirations. Others don't have that drive because they've been chewed out long enough or worse - chewed out by their own selves.

Also I can't sleep.

Yeah, I just don't have the motivation to do so. I plan on applying to college soon, if I don't change my mind, so that's gonna be a nice change of pace for me, hopefully give me more motivation. Life has definitely dealt me quite a bad hand, but things are better than they used to be, and I've definitely not been given the worst hand.

And same, I was trying to then I couldn't so I came here. Probably something I should change if I I want to go to college, but eh, I got melatonin if I need it.

 

[Ki_Nam]

I'm happy for you that you found a path for yourself. Stay strong and onwards you go.

 

[nonialabaster]

Aww, I'm sorry if I brought up painful memories. It sounds like you guys truly loved that cat, and I'm sure she loves you guys as well. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband as well. I'm glad you have photos and stuff like that to remember her by.

Again, I'm very sorry if I upset you in any way. Also, no need to apologize, I can get the same way sometimes but you sound like you have a very kind heart! Thanks for telling me that story, it's heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

I don't know if this will help or apply to you but when I lose something/someone, I always try to see a bright side, when I can, and then think "I'm happy to have something I loved enough to hurt this bad if it's gone". I hope you have a great night, and I hope you're doing okay :)

Oh, honey, you didn't hurt me. It's a good memory. We were glad to have Kristen cross the bridge in her favorite place and have her ashes returned to us, complete with a little paw-print and snips of her hair. When Mark died, I asked the funeral home to cut a lock of his hair (He had remarkable wavy hair!) before he was cremated. They gave me a lock, and were happy to do it.
My friend who came to sit with me, after he died and before I called Hospice, is a photographer and a fellow cook. We took photos of him and snipped some of his hair, wrapping it in kitchen twine.
I mixed his hair and Kristen's together in a small bag. I can't bring myself to touch their ashes, though I have opened Mark's box and hugged the bag inside.
Sometimes, when I'm having a rough night, I bring his box to bed with me. I try to not do that too much, because I sometimes have night terrors, and I don't want to wake up with cremains all over my bedroom! Gaaah!

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Oh, honey, you didn't hurt me. It's a good memory. We were glad to have Kristen cross the bridge in her favorite place and have her ashes returned to us, complete with a little paw-print and snips of her hair. When Mark died, I asked the funeral home to cut a lock of his hair (He had remarkable wavy hair!) before he was cremated. They gave me a lock, and were happy to do it.
My friend who came to sit with me, after he died and before I called Hospice, is a photographer and a fellow cook. We took photos of him and snipped some of his hair, wrapping it in kitchen twine.
I mixed his hair and Kristen's together in a small bag. I can't bring myself to touch their ashes, though I have opened Mark's box and hugged the bag inside.
Sometimes, when I'm having a rough night, I bring his box to bed with me. I try to not do that too much, because I sometimes have night terrors, and I don't want to wake up with cremains all over my bedroom! Gaaah!

Okay, I'm glad it's a positive memory, and that you have things to remember both of them by. I'm also glad you can find comfort with those in those rough times.

Waking up with cremains is certainly NOT an ideal situation, haha.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm happy for you that you found a path for yourself. Stay strong and onwards you go.

Thank you!