sulkygirl
Member
- Nov 2, 2024
- 15
I came to this sight in despair. Feeling alone and broken from a previous relationship, I had lost my motivation for college, eating, living... I came here looking for someone who could understand to talk through this darkness with. I came here looking for someone to nod knowing and led me into the light.
But I made a friend. And they shared with me this show: Madoka Magica. About halfway through, this magical girl Sayaka reaches a breaking point. She's unable to have the love of her life. And then she overhears these disgusting boys on the bus and wonders what's the point of fighting for this world. She loses the will to move on. She pushes her friends away. They try to offer help, they hand her a cure but she believes she refuses. And she dies.
I hated Sayaka for this. Yes, I sympathized for her but I was also angry. I was so angry that she'd do that to her own friends. But then I realized that was me. I'd pushed others away and prepared for the end... I couldn't be like her. Sometimes another perspective really helps. When you're all caught up in your own self-hatred you forget to see yourself clearly.
I want to live.
I want to live so fucking badly.
It scares me. I've missed four weeks of classes for my current college classes. I thought I wouldn't need them where I was going. Oh Lord is it going to take a lot of work to fix but I'm actually going to try now. I actually am.
I'm grateful to the show of course. But mostly to my friend for talking showing it to me, staying up and discussing it late together, being there for me, and bringing me the life.
I'll probably stick around the forums a little bit. I still lack the motivation to do everyday things. But I have a speck of hope now. And I plan to cherish that speck and let it grow.
But I made a friend. And they shared with me this show: Madoka Magica. About halfway through, this magical girl Sayaka reaches a breaking point. She's unable to have the love of her life. And then she overhears these disgusting boys on the bus and wonders what's the point of fighting for this world. She loses the will to move on. She pushes her friends away. They try to offer help, they hand her a cure but she believes she refuses. And she dies.
I hated Sayaka for this. Yes, I sympathized for her but I was also angry. I was so angry that she'd do that to her own friends. But then I realized that was me. I'd pushed others away and prepared for the end... I couldn't be like her. Sometimes another perspective really helps. When you're all caught up in your own self-hatred you forget to see yourself clearly.
I want to live.
I want to live so fucking badly.
It scares me. I've missed four weeks of classes for my current college classes. I thought I wouldn't need them where I was going. Oh Lord is it going to take a lot of work to fix but I'm actually going to try now. I actually am.
I'm grateful to the show of course. But mostly to my friend for talking showing it to me, staying up and discussing it late together, being there for me, and bringing me the life.
I'll probably stick around the forums a little bit. I still lack the motivation to do everyday things. But I have a speck of hope now. And I plan to cherish that speck and let it grow.
